Confessions of a Ragamuffin

Rejection is Power

2012-02-23T09:34:00.003-08:00

I didn’t plan to write about this so soon, but the Lord woke me up today with such an unction in my spirit to talk about it so here it goes. Almost two months ago I had applied to begin my Ph.D for this coming fall. I had taken the time to endure the dreadfully long process and went out on a limb to see if I could get in. I had told the Lord that as enticing and fun of an endeavor as this sounded like it could be, his will came first and I wanted him to give me the grace to accept his decision either way. I had a peace about it, submitted the app and necessary materials, and waited. Twenty four hours ago I found out that they had rejected my admission. A kill joy to the pride indeed, a teachable moment even more so.

For several hours right after I got the news I was in shock. I still had two classes to teach and I knew I was going to have to get over myself and get through the rest of the day. As I said earlier, I can be completely transparent and tell you all that my pride was crushed, but they Holy Spirit reminded me in that moment of what I had promised God: To submit to his plan and his will EITHER way. In giving God such permission, I knew that he could swing the pendulum either way, but it was still alarming when he swung it against what I had in mind. After gathering my thoughts and meditating on what the Holy Spirit had said to me, I begin to ask myself, “Carisha, what can you learn from this?” The only things that rushed to my mind were the following three words:

Rejection is power!

When we are rejected by someone or something, it is a divine doing that allows God to lead us to bigger and better things both in the spirit and in the natural. God is the opener and closer of doors in our lives men and women of God, and we must rest assure that when he closes the doors there is a divine reasoning for it and when he opens them it is for a greater purpose and plan for his kingdom and for our lives. When I shifted my perspective and looked at the situation with kingdom eyes, my loathing in the despair of rejection ceased and I acknowledged that my God had set me up for rejection in this situation to open a greater door somewhere else both in the natural and in the spirit for me. I wrote earlier this week about the Lord going before us and the same is true here. I honored my Father for going before me, for them having rejected me, and for the new favor that I know in my heart is being brought forth on my behalf. I began to look at my rejection as a pathway to opportunity, a pathway to crazy awesome “His perfect will” opportunities. The world has trained us that we should be ashamed or saddened by rejection, but the Lord wants to train us to understand just the opposite; that the world’s rejection of us is our divine gain. He foreknows all so he knows what is good for us and what will bring us heartache and unnecessary pain, and most of all he knows where he wants and needs to use us and where there is no place for us. Rejection is power! When you are rejected, friends, consider it a burst of kingdom power deposited right into your hands. For when God allows us to be rejected, it provides us opportunities to give him glory for keeping us from something too small for His plan for our lives and to honor His hand being on our lives as children of God.

When I first found out, I immediately was like, “Oh my God I guess I am not as smart as I thought I was!!”…LOL so dramatic, huh?? Hey, I am not ashamed, I was totally being a drama queen. This had nothing to do with my lack of intellect or knowledge, yet I was letting the enemy jade me through this rejection experience to believe I was less than what he said about me. But, the most interesting thing happened an hour or so after I got the news. I received a call from the dean who wanted to formally reject me and share with me why my admission was denied (salt in the wound, right haha). He proceeded to explain to me that my denial of admission had absolutely nothing to do with my grades, intellect, or writing samples, but instead with the level of prestige that was associated with my recommendations, the people weren’t “well known enough”…yeah. Ok so I will be transparent and say that was comforting to know it wasn’t my intellect, but at the same time I recognized that such reasoning didn’t make complete sense, and therefore I knew it was my daddy closing that door on purpose. I no longer loathed in self pity, or was sad about being rejected because I knew that I knew that I knew that it was for certain my daddy that had went before me, I knew it wasn’t where he wanted me, and ONLY HE closed the door.

Don’t look at situations of rejection in your lives as strikes against you, but instead as cheers for you. God has great plans for your life and as I always say, where one door closes, God opens three more. Hold on to your faith and know that something great is coming your way. Stop soaking in your bathtub of rejection and self pity and get out, use it as a testimony, and be flattered that your Father loved you enough to keep you from somewhere, someone, or something that you didn’t need. Hold your head up and know that where man rejects us, the Lord is on the other end divinely positioning us!

I’m going to leave you with this beautiful scripture from 1 Peter 2:4 that I believe is so fitting. The scripture says:

You are coming to Christ, who is the living cornerstone of God’s temple. He was rejected by people, but he was chosen by God for great honor.

Remember, you may be rejected just as Jesus was by people, but you too just as Jesus was are chosen by God for great honor.
Until Next Time,

A Worn Path

2012-02-20T08:46:00.001-08:00

A Worn Path

One of my favorite short stories is one by an author named Eudora Welty called A Worn Path. It's a story about an elderly grandmother who is a slave or field hand who is making a day journey to get to the hospital in town to get medicine for her grandson that is dying. I love the story so much because it is all about a journey. The story solely focuses on the path that this lady is taking and the things that she sees and experiences along the way. She runs into trials, and sometimes it even seems like the path disappears, yet she never forgets her reason for traveling; she trusts wholeheartedly that this path was paved just for her and that it is inevitably going to lead her to what she needs so that she can see what she is believing for. Everytime she is set back, she gets up and always reminds herself that she must keep down this path and that there is victory at the end of it. One of my favorite lines in the story says: She would have been lost if she had not distrusted her eye sight and depended on her feet to know where to take her. Sometimes we focus too often on what we see or dont see instead of trusting the feet of the one who is carrying us through the seasons of our life. God wrote our story to be just like this one- a story centralized on embracing the path that he has already went before and set out for us and on the miracle that we are walking toward.

For the past month or so, something that has stirred my heart in such a way is coming to an understanding of really grasping the idea that the Lord has already gone before us. Take a second and meditate on it too:

The Lord has already gone before you in everything.

It is so easy for us to forget this, I know I personally needed this reminder hence the reason I know the Lord has dropped it in my heart so lately. Every step of our paths, the Lord has already taken before us. He has intricately woven every scene, every step, and every part of his plan for our lives, every breath we take, and every direction we decide to go. He already knows what our story looks like because not only did he write it, but he has already been there. How often do we forget that? How often do we worry about things? How often are we asking everybody around us for "Godly revelation" in the same area or for the same thing time and time again? How often are we impatiently searching for premature answers to some of the mysteries of our lives, things the Lord has yet to reveal to us? For me personally, I have found myself falling guilty to all of these too many times. I couldn't rest until I had confirmation #2,344, I couldn't rest because I wanted to know if God was going to give me this or that or work this or that out for me. I am learning now that I could have saved myself hours of heartache, confusion, stress, and even more so saved my oh so patient and sweet mentors hours of listening to me ramble, if I would have taken to heart that the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has already gone before me and my worry and fear was unnecessary.

Our story is written. Every detail and plan laid out already, all we have to do is show up to the set every day and act it out. Every test, every trial, every experience, he foreknew and has already went ahead of us. There is nothing new on this earth that he didn't predestine or already know would unfold the way it has. But, the revelation and peace comes for us in an all familiar and what I believe is one of the most powerful verses in scripture, Romans 8:28. The verse says:

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to HIS purpose for them.

When you are reaching for His purpose, you won't ever miss it. He may have to divinely restructure or realign some things that might not look like what you had in mind or that might be a little uncomfortable for a while, but you will be alright.

I was doing some reading the other day and an author said something so powerful about this verse that I must share. He pointed out the fact that this verse doesn't say "All things will work together for our good right at this very moment", but it instead doesn't let us know when it will all work together. It could be by the very end of our lives, by the end of the day, by the end of the year, who knows! But one thing we can rest in is the fact that at some point it will all make sense and it will all come together for the good of those who love him. We can learn from the experiences and curve balls of life and understand that he knows best for us and has worked it all out on our behalf. A.W. Tozer once said that what we believe about God is who we truly are and shows how we operate as Christians. Yes and Amen brother Tozer, that's absolutely true. Trusting that he has already gone before us, made the right choices on our behalf, and both paved and taken every step of our journey, can take us to new levels as children of God. We will begin to rest more and worry less, become more intimate with him and retreat less. If you think and believe that his way is paramount to your comforts, then my friend you are operating in such a powerful place of kingdom authority and audacious faith.

It's refreshing to know that the father has already gone before us. I believe this can really bring a new spin and add a new zest to our lives as men and women of God right now. If we wake up and operate in the "He has already gone before me" mindset and understand that the big decision that we are trying to make, or the verdict we are trying to patiently wait to hear in our lives about something, God has already heard it, knows it, and desires for us to rest in him and trust him. He has given the authority in heaven to allow it to work out in that way for a purpose. The devil does not have the power to change the course that God bas set out for you! He is almighty and all powerful, omnipotent and all knowing, he allows things to work out certain ways because my friends if he wanted to change the course of events he sure as heck can! Pray for God to give you the grace to accept and receive his decisions for your life. That has been my prayer lately, and let me tell you he has given me supernatural grace to receive things that i know on my own i wouldnt have been able to handle; yet I am learning and seeing that it becomes easier to take His course for your life when your cry is truly for His will and not your own.

I challenge you this week to remind yourself that the Father has already went before you. He will make the best decisions for you, he will open the right doors and slam shut the wrong doors for you. He already knows how the story ends, every act and every scene, and you can rest in the fact that by the end everything will have worked together for your good because you love him and he loves you.

Until next time,

A Valentine's Day Kiss from Me to You

2012-02-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

There was a little girl sitting on a bench at what looked like a train station. As she sat there, in the background the time of day was changing and different trains would come and go every now and then, yet she never moved from her spot. It was as they depict sometimes in movies where the day fades to night and the night back to day and time is just passing by. The seasons were also changing and occasionally others would join her on the bench but would leave because they would get tired of waiting. The little girl would not get up though. She was set on waiting until the right train came. A few trains would come and although sometimes tempting, she always knew that they were not the right ones. But one day something happened as she waited; something different than on any of the other days. She remained on the bench, but she turned around and looked behind her. It was as if something rose up inside of her and whispered to her to turn around. She noticed behind her what looked like an abandoned building with many windows. In the midst of one of the windows, she noticed a familiar face. She looked closely and realized that she recognized the face. It was a heavenly one, one that she realized was all too familiar. It looked like she had always pictured it to be and she knew in that moment that it was indeed who she thought it was. It was Jesus. The little girl lit up with excitement and she kept her eye on the figure as it then moved from the window and headed out to where she was. She still did not move from the bench, she simply scooted over and waited for his arrival. He came out to her, brushed his hand over her shoulder and made his way to the front of the bench and sat down beside her. With a gentle voice like she had never heard before, He whispered these words:

Because you would not get up, I came out.
Because you believed and you waited, I came out for you.

She glowed as he spoke to her, tears filled her eyes.

Soon the bench sat empty and only a bag that the little girl held in her lap remained on the bench. In the distance, a train was pulling away with the word “Life” inscribed on its side and inside sat a few passengers and the little girl and her Jesus.

Just like that little girl, because you waited, He has come out for you.

One of my favorite lines in one of my favorite songs says “The giving up is the hardest part,” and I could not agree more. People might ask why you are still sitting there, just as the few did who joined the little girl on the bench, but you have to ignore that sometimes and keep believing. When giving up becomes the hardest part, then your heart and your spirit are right where they need to be, in His hands. Don’t get up from your bench too soon. Don’t hurry things and end up on the wrong train because you got impatient. Wait! Although seasons and the time of day seem to be ever changing around you, don’t leave your spot. Because very soon, you will turn and notice that, that familiar gaze has been eyeing you the entire time, watching and waiting to see if you would be faithful, if you would adhere to His promises. Then one day, He himself will come out to meet you because you waited on Him. He will lead you right to His train for your life and ride with you.

The little girl was also representative of childlike faith, what it takes to understand the goodness and ways of God. Just because it may not look like much is transpiring in the natural does not mean the angels aren’t earning overtime working on your behalf. The word “Life” on the side of the train represents what we are privileged to truly experience in its fullness when we wait on Him. Life happens when we are walking in and enjoying God’s best for us. Just as he came to meet her, so he will do for you as well. Just when you think your train isn’t coming, He shows right up and so does your train.

To all of you awesome single peeps, this is a word for you! Celebrate this Valentine's Day! Celebrate God's promises in advance and know that He is writing your story and He has not forgotten you. Dont get off of your bench too soon and settle for less than His best for your life. Because at just the right time, your train will come for you. CONTINUE STANDING ON HIS PROMISES FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

1 Peter 2:6
..And those who trust in Him will never be disgraced.

Until next time,

Relationship Chat: He's Just Not That Into You Round 2

2012-01-26T06:32:00.000-08:00

Greetings Friends!
Several months ago I was inspired to write a blog called, He's Just Not that into You, and little did I know that it would spark such a riot. I have received countless messages from men and women requesting the next part of this message and wanting more revelation, so I decided to bring you a second part of this. I want to just preface this by saying this is in no way intended to slap anyone in the face, but instead to inspire you to recognize your worth as a man or woman of God. These things I am going to discuss are some things that i myself have had to learn, but also nuggets of wisdom that so many sweet friends and mentors of mine, both married and single, have also passed down to me.

We hear so much about dating the way the world does it, but sometimes it's hard to know what to expect from the opposite sex or how to operate even as a man or woman of God. By default, we find ourselves bringing ways of courting and dating that we used in the world into kingdom courting and dating situations simply because we dont know. But, we can learn. So, whether you are a man or woman of God, you can apply these tools to your situation and rise up and not only recognize and operate in your God given worth, but also require others to recognize and respect it too when the time to court or date comes. Let's get started:

He's Just Not that into you
Part 2

1. He doesn't pursue you.

Just casually flirting is not a man of God's way of truly pursuing a woman. If a man of God is interested in pursuing you, it's tastefully done, respectful, and he literally has to seek out the Lord for wisdom and instruction on how to do it. If you are the target of his ego building flirtation and games all the time, but he has never sat you down and shared his heart to pursue you, then that's something for you to think about.

2. If he has a track record of "being interested in" and "into" many of the people in your circle and now he has "chosen" you.

This one blows my mind, but sadly we fall for it ladies. If you have seen him do the same thing with others around you at some point in time, you are not the exception. If you can compare notes on this guy with half your female circle, RUN!

3. He texts, emails, Facebook messages, or tweets you more than he calls you.

I know I said this one last time, but it's so worthy of making the list this time too. I have a famous saying: Any girl can get a text. What I mean by that is a guy can text any girl, but if a man is interested in pursuing you, he wants to hear your voice, even if he doesn't have the greatest reason for calling. Texting is necessary in various cases absolutely, but if that's ALL he ever does to you, then my friend you are on friend status. Sorry.

4. 90% of the time you are the one texting, calling or emailing him and when you do it takes him ages to respond.

Do I need to say more?

5. If you have to put yourself out there for him to notice you.

Men have an inherent ambition and drive in them to retrieve what they want. They are hunters by nature and you don't have to help them find you or see you. If you are always trying to find the right outfit, sitting yourself in his realm of vision, chasing him down with a question or excuse to talk to him, or running behind him every minute, you have just turned him off from taking you seriously because you have taken away his challenge. A man of God will seek the Lord first, Godly council second, then he will seek after you and you won't have to try to help him see you. Isn't that flattering? liberating? Absolutely!

6. You are always wondering if he is still into you.

If you have to recap your interactions with him and reaffirm yourself all the time of his supposed interest, then my friend I hate to be the bearer of bad news, he must not be into you. When a man is into you, you know! His pursuit after you is 100% and full out, not off and on.

7. Everything else in his life takes precedence over you

This one applies solely in official courting situations. If this man knows that he is courting you with intentions to marry you, then he better start making you priority early. Last time i checked just God came first.....yeah....that's all I have to say about that....

8. He always acts like he is too shy to communicate with you.

Please! If this guy has friends that are girls and if he's hanging out with other girls and seems to be comfortably communicating with them, he will not have trouble engaging in conversation with you. Yes, if he's really into you, you may make him nervous, but he is a man and has experience interacting with other women so he WILL be able to at least stumble his way through a conversation. He wont want to lose a moment to chat with you if he is really into you, no matter how lame he might sound. Trust me!

9. He still hasn't asked you out.

If a man of God has decided to pursue you and has sought council and talked to you about his feelings, then the next step is to ask you out and to begin fully pursuing you, end of discussion.

10. He doesn't engage in "getting to know you" conversation

Do you know more about his family and "history" than he knows about yours? Does he ever sit down or call and have those real get to know you chats? If all he talks about around you are shallow things, if you seem to always be the one talking or asking him questions, or if all he does is joke or kid around with you and NEVER has any actual good "i want to know you" conversation, you may want to be careful reading courtship into this and understand that this person sees you more as a friend or kid sister. When a man of God is into you, he wants to get to know you and everything about you.

The beauty of courtship and dating God's way is following His lead, men stepping into their God given roles as the pursuer, and women relaxing and enjoying the glorious Godly pursuit. I want to close with a reference to one of my favorite books in the Bible, the book of Ruth. When it comes to pursuit and worth, I think her story exemplifies it perfectly. God placed Ruth divinely in Boaz's environment, God spoke to Boaz's heart to see Ruth, God had Boaz begin to prepare for her, Boaz then learned about and got to know her, Boaz blessed and prayed for her, and then he pursued her. Boaz pursued Ruth so Godly and persistently that I believe he even helped her recognize her own worth. Several times he has his men go before her in the fields to prepare the harvest for her to pick that day, but my absolute favorite is when she was at his feet when he was winnowing barley and he tells her to leave before sunrise to keep from having others tarnish her name and reputation. He saw her worth. He respected her worth. He didn't want Ruth to sweat at all, he catered to her. He didn't want anyone to see her less than the jewel that she was. How beautiful!

When you begin to understand and know your worth as a man or woman of God, that king or queen of God that God has for you will too. It will never be difficult to obtain when its God. Raise the bar!

Until next time,

Never Give Up On Me

2012-01-24T10:52:00.000-08:00

I was in a meeting today when I was touched in my spirit to write. In this meeting was a sweet parent of a student of mine who had come to discuss some behavior issues and such that her child had been having outside of school and what was next on the horizon for him. One side argued throughout the meeting about everything that this child was doing wrong and had even compiled a list of his wrongdoings. My heart was so very touched and as I looked through the list at some of the things that had been said about the child, I was so saddened by them that I quitely began to cry. My heart was so touched because this is a kid who from the very beginning I heard many negative things about, yet I promised myself that I would give him a new leaf, and because I took the time to, has truly been one of the greatest joys and blessings in all of my teaching career. As I sat there bogged by emotions, trying to gain my composure, and listen to the Lord all at the same time, I couldn't ignore the thought that kept replaying in my mind of what it would feel like if God gave up on us. As I looked around the table, I noticed that the mother had lowered her head and began to weep. She had a look of utter dispair and a look that cried out, "I cant give up, but how do I not?" My heart broke for her. I could tell that she was tired and that she was out of options. The roasting portion of the meeting continued for a little while longer, but finally my turn came to speak. The Holy Spirit came over me like a wave and began to prompt me to speak life over this child. I turned to the mother and began to speak prophetically to her about not giving up on her son, the calling on his life, and the destiny of greatness that was ahead of him. I spoke of all of the great things that I see in her child and about the potential he has to do amazing things. As I allowed the Lord to minister to her through me, He simultaneously was ministering to me about the importance of two things about Him:

1. He never gives up on His children.
2. He has called us to speak life at all times.

Lets touch on each of these for just a few if you dont mind. First, it is important that we always remind ourselves that He never throws in the towel on us! Two months ago this same kid gave his heart to the Lord in an FCA meeting one morning right in the school library. He confessed that he knew that there was something greater for his life and that he wanted to live for God. So, with that in my mind and what I knew the Lord had spoke to me about that child, I refused to sit back and let the enemy have his way. What a bold move for this child to ponder salvation, recognize the Lord's unctioning, and then come and ask for it one morning in front of his peers, astonishing! I would go on week after week hearing various negative things about this child around campus, but I would remind myself how much the Lord loved this child, how the Lord never gives up on us, and of the awesome things the Lord had spoken to me about this child's destiny and future. Contrary to popular opinion, I refused to see in him any less than God sees him. People are depending on us, men and women of God, to see them for what they can become. What if God gave up on us years ago or just yesterday when we were covered in our dirt? I dont know about you, but I have no idea where I would be. Something to ponder, huh?

The other thing that the Lord reminded me of in this situation was how vital it is to speak life. I am not at all bragging on myself that I said anything great or life changing, but the point that I want to convey is that when we allow the Lord to speak life through us and allow him to use us to declare destiny over others, we can change someone's thinking forever. I honestly dont think this mother had ever heard a good thing about her child from anyone because the look of surprise that arose in her eye when something positive was said was almost unreal. I spent those few minutes speaking life over that child to his mother because I knew in that moment that the Lord had sent me to that meeting to do that for her. Typically, there are many teachers invited to meetings of that sort, but somehow I was the only one that ended up there. Wierd? Slighty. Divine? No doubt! Even though I might have looked like the crazy one at the table, I took my chance and I spoke life. Speaking life is not always the popular thing to do, but it's the God thing to do. Sometimes you are the only one that God has trusted to declare the potential in someone. Ever thought of that?

Maybe you are in a situation where you can make a list of everything wrong about someone around you. Maybe you have been believing for their salvation? deliverance? Or maybe you are the one that others can give a long list of your every mistake or failure and have not given you a second chance. Either way, know that He never gives up on us. If you are recapping someone else's wrongs, remember you are not God! Repent, release that person, and start speaking life over them. Challenge yourself even when it is contrary to popular belief to see what God sees in others. If someone is speaking ill over you, remember what His word says about you, that His grace covers you at all times, and that He will never write you off. God didnt forget the seed he planted in that young man several months ago that day in the library when he accepted Him as his savior, and nor has He forgotten the seed that he planted in you or those around you. God never washes His hands of His children. He loves us so much and keeps no records. Hold your heads up and keep running your race! The best is yet to come for you!

Im going to leave you guys with the lyrics to one of my all time favorite worship songs by a young man named Josh Bates. I originally heard this song several years back at a time in my life when I was struggling to believe in myself and trying to get my act together. The song is called Never Give Up On Me. Let it be a word of encouragement for you today!!

Never Give Up On Me
Time after time you’ve been left behind
like the sun when it’s starting to rain
Time after time you’ve been forgotten
like a picture that’s faded with age
Time after time you ran after me
when I was still running away

You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I’m weak you are strong
You told me I still belong
No, you never, never give up on me

Time after time I’ve used your grace
as a way to do what I please
I’ve taken for granted prayers that you answered
never been all I could be
You are holding out your hands
and now I clearly see

You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages, Your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am

Until next time,

Big Dreams

2012-01-17T06:59:00.000-08:00

Greetings and Happy New Year!
I pray that your 2012 is treating you exceptionally well! I believe in my heart that this year is going to bring exponentially more than you ever dreamed. I have marked it as the year of the promise, the year of God’s fulfillment of what he has said in the dark. Open your hearts and your minds to receive all that he has named yours. It’s going to be a great year!

In kicking off the year, I feel it only appropriate to write about expectation. In what I believe is going to be a year of sheer greatness, it is necessary that we dream big and have ginormous expectation. About a week or so ago I was chatting with a friend about a business plan/idea that I wanted to ask his help on. It has been an idea and dream of mine for a while, but it simply had not been the right time. I had not spoken it really to anyone, but the Lord began to speak to me that this season was the time to birth this dream and that he would begin to make it come to life. I was asking my friend to consider taking on this project and shared with him my vision and hope for it. I had no idea that in that impromptu meeting that I would be shaken in my spirit in such a powerful way, in a way that would shift my way of dreaming and believing. While listening to my vision, he abruptly stopped and asked me, “What do you think this will look like in ten years?” Simple question, right? You would have thought, yet I was a little taken back and at a loss for words. I stuttered and stammered in my mind trying to figure out how to respond, but I laughed and unashamedly confessed that I had not really thought that far ahead. I assured him that I just wanted this project to be something available to bless women and to provide Godly insight and wisdom to others. I surely never wanted this dream to become about my fame or notoriety. But in that moment the Lord began to minister something to me. I was playing it too small and I had not been expecting big enough. The Lord knew my heart and acknowledged and appreciated my humility, yet he wanted me to dream the dream that he had given me bigger. I simply wasn’t dreaming big enough. Oh how I needed to hear that, and I am sure someone reading this today needs to hear this too. We must dream big enough.

My dear friend proceeded to tell me that this project would not be a little endeavor forever, and challenged me to think about what would happen a few years from now when it explodes all over the nation? I was stirred with such excitement and bigger expectation. Sometimes our little spaces in our minds and range of thinking cannot house our big dreams. Until that moment, I hadn’t made adequate space in my mind to hold my big dream. Right there I had experienced a complete shift in my thinking and dreaming. Although my genuine heart of humility was pleasing to God, I knew in my spirit that it was also disappointing to God that my expectation wasn’t higher and that I had not allotted a big enough space to hold this dream he had birthed in me. I immediately came to a place of repentance and I said to myself, “Girlfriend, its time to dream bigger!” And I did.

Too often we dream to small and we don’t even know it. We can let the enemy mask playing it small as humility, and aid us in the denouncing of the great and mighty plans that God has for us. When it seems impossible or too big, that’s a good thing and sure sign that whatever it is, is a God dream. Don’t water it down to make it fit in your little mind, yet know that when it seems too great and over the top that it’s a good thing because it means that it’s a dream that only He can bring to pass. Who are we not to dream big? We are children of the Most High God who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we could ever ask or think. So, take a second to run through your list of big dreams and ask yourself this: Where will it be in ten years? Make room for your dream and expect big things. We were designed to desire those things that only he can fulfill. If he put it there, then trust that he wants to and plans to manifest it in a great way, not a small one.

Until next time,

Brad Paisley What Child Is This

2011-12-16T08:31:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

2011-12-16T08:15:00.001-08:00

Hello faithful followers,
I wanted to take a few minutes to wish each of you and your family and friends a blessed Christmas season. I love this time of the year so much for so many reasons. One simply being just getting to spend time with my family and friends, but more than that to get to celebrate the birth and life of the greatest gift the world has ever seen, Jesus. Its easy to get tangled in the shopping, decor, holiday parties, etc., but we can never forget the reason we celebrate. Isaiah 9:6 says this:

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (NKJV)

He is wonderful, counselor, Mighty God, our Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace. As you celebrate this season, maybe you have had some trials and this year hasnt been the greatest for you, or maybe you're on the opposite end of the spectrum and it's been splendid, just remember that whatever the case may be, God alotted you another year for a purpose and no matter what it looks like, He still loves you.

I want to leave you all with something so very special to me. I love music, but especially country music. One of my favorite country artists is Brad Paisley and this video was recorded last year. He sang one of my all time favorite Christmas songs so beautifully, one that proclaims the true meaning and blessing of Christmas. Enjoy.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Diluted Dreams

2011-11-15T12:22:00.000-08:00

By definition, the word dilute means to make thinner or weaker by the addition of water or something like it, to make fainter, or to reduce strength. When something is diluted, the potency that it has in its original state is stripped and it is reduced to something weaker, something reducing its strength and capabilities. When we dilute God’s dreams and provisions for us we do that same thing, we thin out and weaken his ultimate dream and provision, pathways that he has set out for us, because we find a cheaper alternative. We settle and we prematurely walk into his plans for us because we take the more reasonable offers. The full strength solution is his perfect will, the diluted alternative is the enemy’s provision, his presentation of an alternative that is seemingly similar to what God has for us, yet lacking what has truly been set out for us. When we think we are being humble and more reasonable and accept less than his best, we are actually denouncing the greatness and majesty of our Father God. It is easy to settle. Let’s just face it: Our flesh gets tired! We get so tired of waiting out his will and we find the more “reasonable” offer because it might be the best we can get, yet if we would simply wait on him to allot us his provision, we would find that in every situation he would send us his undiluted, full strength best for our lives. When we dilute what he has promised to us, we ultimately settle, as that is exactly what diluting or watering down our dreams or prayers is doing. Some may argue differently, but we are saying to God that he is not worth the wait, “I’ll take the watered down version instead, Lord.” One of my favorite analogies about this concept is one that I have written about many times and that is the one about the blue prints of life. I picture it like this: When we get to heaven and stand before the King he will have a blueprint of our life in his hand. But in my opinion, the greatest tragedy would be to get there and he present up two blueprints: His and ours. The greatest blessing in my opinion would be for him to pick up just one, the one that he started and finished in our lives and the one in which we submitted to and followed. God wouldn’t risk his reputation on us. The scriptures tell us that he is not a man that he should lie (Numbers 23:19). Whatever he has allotted and set out for you, no man can take away. I am going to say that again and I want you to let it settle in your spirit this time:

Whatever God has allotted and set out for you, no man can take away.

Don’t dilute his plans or water down his provisions and plans to an easier and less potent version that you can ingest prematurely. I remember as a little girl my mom would dilute cough syrups or medicines sometimes to “weaken” the potency, to make it more suitable for me as a child. It is the same with the things of God. We dilute our dreams, we water them down and kill the potency so we can get them as undeveloped children now, rather than wait on God and mature a little bit and eventually receive the full strength dreams. Naturally as I got older, mom didn’t have to dilute anything. She just gave me the cough syrup or medicine, full strength, and that was that. It took time for me to be ready for the full strength, just as it takes time for God to release to us the full strength- the complete dream, the complete release of provision, the complete permission to enter the pathway that he has set for us.

I am going to leave you with this. About a week or so I was driving and ranting to God about something that I had asked for that I felt like I should have already received. I remember saying exactly this: Gosh God, I never seem to be able to get…, when the Lord ministered to me right there a word that shut me up that afternoon and has kept me quiet since. The Lord said:

“Daughter, you are so focused on what you have never had, yet if you shifted your perspective you would see that I am trying to give you something that you have never had, but even more than that, something that has never been."

He wants to do the same for you.

Until next time,

I Hope You Dance

2011-09-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

I was in contemplator mode reflecting on the current season of my life and just thinking about the great things that God is bringing full circle in my life. It's a season like no other honestly; a season where I feel I have learned a lot about myself, a season completely out of my comfort zone, and a season coming to an end soon, while a new chapter slowly but surely approaches.

But what we often miss is the greatness of the season "right before". What I mean by that is when in those seasons right before the bigger seasons come where we should enjoy the moment, we instead focus on what we dont have just yet, we get anxious and so eager for what is next that often times miss indulging in all that God has for us beforehand. As I was driving and pondering all of these things, the Lord said to me:

I hope you dance during this season. Really embrace EVERY detail of this season, big and small, because you will never have this season at this particular time again.

I was so caught off guard that I immediately shut off the radio to really let it sink in. Although I have been enjoying my season tremendously, I had to ask myself if I had been really thoroughly taking the time to dance in my season. The Lord longs for us to dance during all of our seasons, rain or shine. In Him saying to me, I hope you dance, I believe that He is crying out to us all to dance and enjoy every season, and to appreciate ALL of the process and ALL that he is doing. What a sweet reminder straight from the Father, huh? He has designed every step of the process and longs to see us find good in it all, even when it doesnt always make perfect sense.

Dance during your current season! Don't just focus on what is to come, focus on the awesome things that he is doing now and the process that he is taking you through to bring you full circle to the big things that He has for you. You will never get another chance to live out your current season again. Don't miss what God is doing in the now. Sweat the small stuff. It's when you can find the time to dance about the small stuff that God can give you something bigger to dance about later.

Until next time,

The Power of Saying YES

2011-08-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I was sharing something with a brother of mine that the Lord had shown me about a decision that I had allowed the Holy Spirit to help me make. I was talking to him about the peace and ease of saying yes in that situation when he looked at me and said something so powerful, something that has been with me ever since. It is the something that inspired this composition.

It is one thing to say that we trust God, but its something even more special when God says he trusts you.

God desires to hear us say yes. Not to say yes just when its easy and all going just as we planned, but also in the times when what you expected or wanted goes the other way. We can claim that we are Holy or Righteous all day, but I believe the real testing of our Holiness or Righteousness comes when we master the art of saying yes to the Father in all things and at all times.

Saying yes is not something we master overnight. It comes as a result of many failed attempts of, as my favorite author Brennan Manning says, trying to pull our ownselves up by our own bootstraps. We always want it to look as we had planned it or for things to come out just how we wanted them and WHEN we wanted them to, but God often inserts something called process into our lives that we must learn to say yes to in order for him to expedite or even get us to where it is that he desires for us to go. So many people want elevation both in the Kingdom and in the natural so badly, but He cannot quite release it to them because they cannot say yes to the right now. When you say yes to him NOW, then he will say yes to you later. The word that the Lord gave me in preparing this was that when we say yes to Him then he will not say no to us. When you can say yes to him at all times you understand what it means to be in submission to his perfect will, therefore he will not deny the desires of your heart.

'Yes' to the Lord is martyrdom of the flesh- it is literally US dying for the cause of the will of the Lord. When you really let this concept sink in, it will alter your perspective on what it means to submit to the will of God. There are a few biblical examples that I can think of that I feel are superior exemplifiers of this. Several of my favorites come to mind such as Ruth, Tamar, Joseph, David, and of course Jesus.

Ruth said yes when she had nothing left. Ruth had everything she had loved taken away from her but she said yes to the process of blessing someone else in her time of trial (Boaz and Naomi) and in turn shortly after reaped God's best and God's greatest for her life.

Tamar was shunned by others in her community, ridiculed, and even black mailed, but she said yes to the promise that the Lord had spoken to her about the seed that she would bear and she said yes to the process. I think Tamar would have bypassed the whole "social outcast" part and being rejected and deemed as a whore by her peers, but she said yes to the will of the Lord and later reaped a great harvest and was made the bearer of a great legacy that would later birth our Christ.

Joseph, a man sold into slavery by his own flesh and blood, said yes to the will of the Lord and confronted what the enemy meant for bad and watched the Lord turn it to good. The Lord ended up using Joseph to minister grace and mercy and what it truly meant to love like God to his brothers and his father.

David knew how to say yes to the Lord. I love David and I think we can learn so much from him in that David said yes to the Lord from the very beginning. As a young boy he probably had plans and aspirations of what he wanted to do in life and when, but when Samuel came and anointed Him he didnt take a second to think about it. He immediately trusted the will of the Lord and without hesitation sat his plans aside and picked up the Lord's plans for his life which was not always an easy one, but one that made him into the greatest and the most anointed psalmist and songwriter and King to ever live.

And the greatest example, Jesus. As he kneeled in the garden and cried out not my will God but yours he paved the way for all of us and because he said yes allowed us to have life and life more abundantly.

If you are focusing on what you lose when you say yes and submit to the will of the Lord, with all due respect you are missing the big picture. Let me remind you of something: Its NOT ABOUT YOU! In saying yes to God's will, you have nothing to lose, but instead everything to gain. Dont let selfish ambition drown out the process that God is trying to take you through in your life to elevate you and equip you for what he has called you to do both now and later. In my opinion, the greatest tragedy I could ever face would be to find out that I am outside of God's will for my life because of something I said No to instead of saying Yes. I encourage you brothers and sisters to jump on the bandwagon with me and let's strive to become those who God can trust to say yes to him at all times, those who die to ourselves and becomes martyrs for the cause of the will of God. Saying yes to everything that God says lets him know that he can trust us, that he can elevate us, and that he can depend on us.

Lamentations 3:16-22 says this:

16 He has made me chew on gravel.
He has rolled me in the dust.
17 Peace has been stripped away,
and I have forgotten what prosperity is.
18 I cry out, “My splendor is gone!
Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!”

19 The thought of my suffering and homelessness
is bitter beyond words.[a]
20 I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
21 Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.

God never said our crosses wouldnt be heavy. God never said it would always be easy. Learning to say yes breeds character and stamina for this race called life that he has called us to run. In closing, the late president JFK said this in response to the US moon mission several decades ago: "We do it not because it's easy, but because it's hard" and I believe this goes hand in hand with learning to say yes to the Lord. We say yes to Him not because its easy, but because it is hard and because it forces us to trust and depend on him solely which is his heart's desire for us. Learning to say Yes to the Lord is what it truly means to have true faith! Ask the Lord to help you say Yes and I guarantee He will.

Until next time,

The Blessing of Matthias

2011-08-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

In Acts 1 after Jesus has been with the apostles and then ascends back to heaven, the apostles return to Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives to gather and pray. Starting in verse 15, the Lord begins to stir Peter's heart to call the the next disciple who would become a replacement for the late apostle Judas. Peter recaps to the other disciples and the faithful ones who joined them in prayer that evening, the story of Judas and reminds them of the prophetic word that the Lord ministered through David years before about how Judas would betray the Lord and lose his place. Peter continues and shares his heart with them that since the prophecy had been fulfilled, Judas must be replaced. The Lord had placed it on Peter's heart to seek out a new anointed one for that position. There had to be a replacement set in place and the time was now. The time was now for the Lord to grant another faithful son an opportunity to be anointed as one of His apostles. In vereses 21-22, Peter speaks something that I believe is the meat and potatoes of this little nugget of hope for you today when he says this:

21 “So now we must choose a replacement for Judas from among the men who were with us the entire time we were traveling with the Lord Jesus 22 from the time he was baptized by John until the day he was taken from us. Whoever is chosen will join us as a witness of Jesus’ resurrection.”

Peter says here that the one called to come forth had to have been in it for the long haul back then and in it for the long haul in the days to come. He wanted the one to come forth who had followed Jesus from the very time he was baptized until the day he died on the cross (and of course as a reward for his faithfulness the scritures also say that he would be granted the opportunity to bear witness to his resurrection). The faithful are always few and far between, often appear to be overlooked, but never forgotten. In the last verses of the chapter, Peter elects one of two men that he and the other apostles deemed qualified, Matthias. Well known? Not at all. Major prophet? No. Beholder of lots of accolades or titles? Absolutely not. An example of faithfulness and favor? Definitely. Acts 1 is the only place in scripture that Matthias is mentioned by name. Matthias literally translates to "gift from God" and indeed that is what he was sent as. The Lord had already sought out to anoint Matthias to become an apostle of his and to become the one that would take the place of Judas. Matthias had been in it for the long haul and because of that God knew he could trust Him; Because he was faithful to him from the beginning with the baptism all the way up to his death, he rewarded him to bear witness of the greatest miracle the world had ever seen, His resurrection and of course to become one of His chosen twelve.

Although Matthias may not have been necessarily looking to become an apostle, I believe he worshipped like one. He worshipped as if God had already provided him the opportunity to be even closer alongside him, to become one of the twelve. Sometimes God wants to see if we can shout about and be faithful in the baby steps and small things before he releases the big things to us. Matthias shouted about the baby steps in that he was right by the Father's side, believing, learning, praying, and worshiping from the beginning to the end; and in the process the Lord placed a divinely recognizable attribute within him that peter recognized immediately to select him to replace Judas. Faithfulness and worshiping throughout are the things that I believe allot for promotion in the kingdom. The other apostles recognized the faithfulness and the gift in Matthias and they elected him, little old Matthias, to be counted in with the eleven other apostles. Talk about a big promotion?

We are in a season of the blessing of Matthias. Many of you have been faithful right where you are, running the race alongside the Father, in many cases not even necessarily looking for promotion or elevation, and he is about to shift things for you and promote you to greater things and release to you greater anointing, greater power, and greater opportunities to further his kingdom. Like Matthias, your name is not well known and you may have just been in the crowd running your race alongside him, but trust that you have not gone unrecognized. The same blessing that fell upon Matthias in Acts 1 is the same blessing that is coming upon his faithful sons and daughters this season.

I want to close with a little saying of mine that I love so much. It says this:

I may not have it all in front of me yet, but Im gonna shout like I got it all yesterday.

Matthias had his eyes fixed on the Word and Will of God and although he just "followed" for several years, it was the intimacy he gained with the Father and what he learned while following alongside him, his worship throughout, and his inability to lose heart that I believe fashioned the Father's heart to elevate him to become one of His twelve. The Lord is watching you right where you are! Are you faithful? Can he count on you? Are you worshiping him from right where you are?

Exceedinly and abundantly above all you could ask or think!

Until next time,

Menial, Routine, and Ordinary, yet Extraordinarily Significant

2011-08-03T17:56:00.000-07:00

I was standing in my kitchen this afternoon sipping on a cup of coffee looking out the window when I turned to walk out and I happened to glance up at the refrigerator. There were a few magnets from random vacation spots, a calendar, my calorie tracker, and a once folded, once partially crumpled sheet of notebook paper held up by one of those magnets. But it isn't just an ordinary sheet of notebook paper, it's a letter that was written to me several months ago that holds a very special place in my heart. During the last week of this past school year, a student who was very to precious gave me a folded note and a smile and she proceeded to return to her desk. She was a student who had touched my heart and made me a better person in more ways than I ever think I could have impacted her. She was a student who had come from broken and abusive home. She was labeled as a severe struggling learner, and by many teachers and even family had been written off. She was always an entertaining child and quite an opinionated diva like myself. Usually the first person I saw waiting by my door when I came to the top of the stairs, a regular throughout the day that would just drop in between classes to say, hey! When she brought me this little folded up piece of paper, I honestly had no idea what it could have been. I unfolded it as I was sitting down to check some email and to my surprise it was one of the most heartfelt letters I have ever received, a letter in which she listed different ways that her life had been impacted by my class. It had been small things like smiling at her or explaining something to her twice with a smile on my face, things that I had just seen as routine and ordinary. When I read it, I was brought to tears and was so humbled. To be honest, I had never really thought a whole lot about being seen as necessarily having an "impact", I just knew that everyday before I got out of my car and before my students would arrive I would pray and ask God to give me the grace to do what he had called me to that day and that he would touch some child that day through me for the kingdom of God. I asked God everyday, but had no idea of the depth of what was really transpiring right around me. I am not telling this story AT ALL to toot my horn, heavens no! But I am telling this to lead into something that I believe will minister to your heart as it has mine.

Sometimes the menial or routine, the ordinary of our everyday lives is where God needs us the most. What is menial and ordinary to us is a big deal to the Father and should be a big deal to us too. And how we handle the menial and ordinary now determines how big he will allow us to reign later.

As I glanced at this letter posted on my fridge, I smiled and just brushed one of my hands over it when the greatest embrace of peace came over me and the Lord whispered:

I still need you right there. I have not forgotten you, I just still need you right there. Can I still use you there?

Where I had been going about my days doing what I thought were the "menial and ordinary" things day to day with my students, had been and will continue to be for this season the very domain that God has called me to reign in. Whether in your office, your school, your classroom, or your home, no time that you spend doing the menial or ordinary is menial or ordinary, they are actually quite the opposite; beautiful opportunities for God to make extraordinary breakthrough in the lives of someone else through his power in you.

The reason why I chose to share this particular story with you is because recently I decided to self assess and weigh out some things in preparation for this new season both in the natural and in the spirit. I had said to the Lord, "Well, God I have career plans of eventually owning this and this and doing this and this, so can I switch fields now?" I began to really "seek" God about it and convince him of every reason as to why it was the time to switch. As I heard one Pastor say, The teacher never talks during the test, this was my test and no the teacher didnt say much it was ME doing all of the talking. So I guess to shut me up and teach me, the Lord blessed with a phenomenal opportunity to interview and receive an offer from one of Dallas' most prestgious companies and after prayer and careful counsel and consideration, I declined the offer because it was in some ways not everything that I had asked God for and I knew God was not short changing his blessing for me. I knew that because it had worked out that way, God did not have an assignment there for me this season. I walked away from the opportunity not upset or angry, but instead with an ear turned toward heaven because I knew God was about to reveal something to me from this and sure enough he did when I touched that note hanging on the refrigerator door.

God needs us sometimes right where we are and we dont even realize it. Sometimes we get so focused on us and what we want, not to say that he doesnt want to give us the desires of our heart because he does but just in his timing, that we miss what he is doing in and through us right where we are. As I stood there at the fridge listening, my reply back to him was one of gratitude and great peace, "Sure, Lord. Whatever you want, I will do. Give me the grace to do it." It LITERALLY took me years to realize that when God says "No" or "Not yet", know that its because he still needs you right where he has you and most of the time it has nothing at all to do with us, but instead its about the furthering of his kingdom. I was infamous and still sometimes am for trying to negotiate with God and trying to fit my will into his, as I was in this case. But, after many flat falls on my face and with obvious remnants of it that still resurrect in my life from time to time such as in this situation, I've learned that God does not work well with negotiations nor on our time and schedule. We should focus instead on fitting His will into ours, so much so that ours is removed and His will becomes THE will.

In what area of your life are you rushing or demanding a move and it seems like the right opportunity is just not coming about? It could very well be that you are already right where God needs you right now. Dont take your domain in which God has called you to reign in right now for granted. Right where you are could be right where God has called you to reign for his kingdom and to be his hands and feet.

Its easy for us to forget that it's not all about us. Let's be honest, as humans it is easy for us to become self absorbed in our goals and dreams and to forget about His goals and dreams that He has set for us to accomplish to further His kingdom. One of my mottos in life is that my life is not my own, im just visiting. When I tell others that sometimes they look at me like I have lost my mind, but when they look at me that way or tell me all of the reasons biblical and practical that God has not called me to ignore the desires of my heart, I laugh because little do they know I am not ignoring the desires of my heart or forfeiting my dreams, instead I have placed myself in a position where they will come to pass and be exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ask or think. We were created to desire ONLY THAT IN WHICH HE CAN FULFILL, so what makes you think he will pass over your requests?

In closing, remember that sometimes, just as God ministered to me today, God still needs us right where we are, yet we are so busy trying to move. Never underestimate the plan and power of God. Never underestimate what God is doing and cultivating under the table on your behalf. Never see where God has you now as a setback. Never underestimate what he can do, will do, and is doing. When we are sitting still right where we are, we can hear the train of life coming for us; yet when we are so busy making plans and rambling on and on about what we want, unlike the one who is sitting still, when the train comes to take us to the next stop, we are so occupied that sometimes it can pass us by. Again, I challenge you to ask the Lord in what area(s) you may not be fully understanding the significance of because in your opinion they may be menial or routine, or ordinary and see what he reveals to you because he just might whisper to you just as he did me:

I still need you right there. I have not forgotten you, I just still need you right there. Can I still use you there?

Are you willing to stay put?

Psalm 119:1-8
You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You're blessed when you follow his directions,
doing your best to find him.
That's right—you don't go off on your own;
you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
now you expect us to live it.
Oh, that my steps might be steady,
keeping to the course you set;
Then I'd never have any regrets
in comparing my life with your counsel.
I thank you for speaking straight from your heart;
I learn the pattern of your righteous ways.
I'm going to do what you tell me to do;
don't ever walk off and leave me.

Until next time, friends :-)

Lightkeepers

2011-07-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

You are a living light. As children of God, this is what He inherently wove into each of us, to be His living lights here on earth. Within each of us is a beam of light that exudes or should exude from the very core of who we are; to be the access point to the means of light in the dark valleys that life brings; to be the ray of joy that peeks through melancholoy skies; to be the hope when others around us cannot find it. God has chosen to place His light inside of each of us, we are His chosen people in which He wants to utilize as carriers and keepers of the very essence of who He is. Like it or not, no matter how "insignificant" or significant you may feel, you are His chosen lightkeeper for your realm of influence.

The greatest lie the enemy can tell us and try to convince us of is that we are not qualified to do the things of God. Any way that the enemy can keep us from removing the shade off of our lamps, he will use. Jesus said it in Luke 8:16-17 that our lights are not made to be covered up but to be available and visible for others at all times.

16 “No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a bowl or hides it under a bed. A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light can be seen by all who enter the house. 17For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.

A couple of years ago when I was struggling in the area of "feeling like I wasn't qualified" and wavering in walking in the fullness of my lightkeeping capabilities, the Lord ministered to me in that season this:

When we come up with every reason that we are NOT qualified, we by default qualify the enemy to have access in our destinies and to keep us from fulfilling our GOD GIVEN purpose and calling, to be living lights. When we selfishly focus on ourselves and what's wrong or not right with us, we not only dismiss His grace for our lives, but we also waste time and opportunities to further His kingdom. Its not about you, its about Him! If he put His light in you, then his expectation is for you to let it shine, not keep it covered or hidden.

This past year was a trying one for my family as we faced the battle of cancer with my grandmother. Praise God she is healed now, but while we were walking through what felt like thousands of treatments and testing of glands, blood, etc., there was a particular situation that ministered to me about this very thing. She had went in for a follow up after being cancer free for several months when they noticed a potential threat on a random gland. They tested what was on the gland to see if it was cancerous and I remember the doctor telling us as they were preparing to evaluate the threat, "Dont worry, if it is a spot on there we can just remove the gland completely. It doesnt really serve a purpose, so we'll just take it out." In his attempt to make it sound "comforting", I was actually disturbed by it because I thought to myself, "Lord, everything has a purpose! If there was no use at all for this gland you wouldnt have woven it into our bodies, right?" Everything has a purpose! While I respected the wisdom of the doctor, I knew that statement was untrue because I was seeing that little "random" gland with spirit eyes and I knew it had a purpose just as all of the other "important" glands did. Aren't each of us just like every cell and every gland in our bodies, here for a purpose? Absolutely! Every one of us has a purpose in the body of Christ and in the world around us. God would not have you here if you didnt have a purpose. You were created to be His living light.

Arise and remove the shade from your lamp! Let the light of God that is within you shine from every facet of who you are. God desires for us to strive to live in His will for our lives and to be a light to His people so much so that we leave a piece of heaven everywhere that we go and with everyone that we come in contact with. God has entrusted us as His children, to lead and shine light to His people, and to walk boldly and confidently in doing so because He has called and qualified us. As the scripture says in 1 Peter 2:9, we are His royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own, called to show others the goodness of God. We have been called out of the darkness and into his marvelous light. Unveil your light and let it shine bright!

I am going to leave you with a set of scriptures that changed my life forever and that I know will bless and encourage you. Whether in your workplace or among your family at home, whether while ministering at a church or while shopping at the grocery store, let His light shine through you at all times. You never know who is waiting on you and whose destiny is depending on you shining your light in their life that day whether through a spoken word, a display of love or compassion, or maybe even just through a hello or a smile.

1 Corinthians 1:26-28
26 Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. 27 Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. 28 God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.

Until next time,

Grateful! Thankful!

2011-07-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

I arose this morning early and I went out on the patio and just sat for awhile and reflected. As I began to journal, I did not get very far when I came to an abrupt stop. I sat there thinking and in my heart and in my spirit felt that there were not enough words to describe the appreciation and gratitude that I feel as I celebrate these 27 years of life. When I look over my life and over the past 27 years, I am overwhelmed with sheer thankfulness. God has tremendously, above and beyond, blessed me and blessed my life over and over again, through and through, and I am so thankful.

So today, O Lord, I say to you,

For every open door, thank you
For every closed door, thank you
For my sweet family, church, and friends, thank you
For every lesson learned, thank you
For every year thus far and to come, thank you
For everytime you and I have overcome, Lord, thank you
For everytime you said no, thank you
For everyday I have risen, thank you
For everything that you are, thank you
For being provider, protector, lover, shepherd, and teacher, thank you
For putting up with all of my crap, thank you
For every second chance you have given me, thank you
For accepting me for who I am, the good, bad, and the ugly, thank you
For this coming year and the years and years to come, thank you
For choosing me first, thank you
For being my very best friend always and forever, thank you

To my sweet family and friends,

I am overwhelmed with joy and gratefulness for all of your sweet birthday wishes, blessings, words of endearment, and for every friendship and relationship that I have with each of you. You all are such a blessing to me! I was aligned with each of you in very special and different seasons and for different purposes. Each of you have imparted something special to me and left a piece of you in my heart forever! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love you all tons :-)

So grateful! So thankful! So expectant! Come on new season, let's do it!!

Until next time,

Caught By Surprise

2011-07-22T08:35:00.001-07:00

1 Samuel 16
David Anointed King

1 Now the LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go; I am sending you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided Myself a king among his sons.”
2 And Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me.”
But the LORD said, “Take a heifer with you, and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.’ 3 Then invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; you shall anoint for Me the one I name to you.”
4 So Samuel did what the LORD said, and went to Bethlehem. And the elders of the town trembled at his coming, and said, “Do you come peaceably?”
5 And he said, “Peaceably; I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Sanctify yourselves, and come with me to the sacrifice.” Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons, and invited them to the sacrifice.
6 So it was, when they came, that he looked at Eliab and said, “Surely the LORD’s anointed is before Him!”
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees;[a] for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
8 So Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. And he said, “Neither has the LORD chosen this one.” 9 Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, “Neither has the LORD chosen this one.” 10 Thus Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel. And Samuel said to Jesse, “The LORD has not chosen these.” 11 And Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all the young men here?” Then he said, “There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep.”
And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him. For we will not sit down[b] till he comes here.” 12 So he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with bright eyes, and good-looking. And the LORD said, “Arise, anoint him; for this is the one!” 13 Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward. So Samuel arose and went to Ramah.

Just like Samuel initially did, how often do we linger in mourning over things that God has already dereigned in our lives? At the end of verse 1 the Lord says, "I have already chosen another for myself," reminding Sanuel and us that His will is what it is all about. The Lord has already handpicked the cast, scenes, and locations of our life story. What he has deregined, he has already replaced and in a far greater capacity. There is greater power in the double portion.

Just like Samuel, we look too narrowly for our blessings. When Samuel arrived to Jesse's home to anoint the king as the Lord has instructed, he looked at just the sons in front of him, he didnt know who God had prepared behind the scenes. His vision was to narrow; God had his best in the background who was preparing and waiting. Exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or think. Dont limit God's possibilties of provision. He formed the world from nothing and he can form your "nothings" into somethings and great somethings.

Just like us, David was waiting for his moment, for his time and season, when just like that one day out of nowhere his provision, his blessing, his reign came. Although he couldnt necessarily "activate" it in the natural in that moment, in the spirit his reign was activated. David's favor was released to him when he least expected it. One evening David went to bed as a shepherd boy and the next morning woke up and was anointed King. You can go to bed one night asking for your favor and literally wake up the next day and it be right before your eyes. It is while we are faitful in the menial, everyday things that God shows up and blesses us.

Don't mourn over things that God has already rejected. He has already selected and anointed another that will be greater. Shout before you see it and thank him early.

Fashion your eyes to see what your ears have heard from God. Sometimes we are gazing too narrowly right around us when more than likely our blessing and favor have been tucked away out back preparing just for us. God has no limits!

Don't get tired of doing what is good and don't lose faith because at just the right time and usually by surprise, your Samuel, your provision, what you have been praying for will show up looking just for you.

God is up to something this season friends and open heavens are all around us. The best for our lives has been tucked away and has been in preparation, but God is sending for them to be revealed and anointed just for us. What you have been praying for is YOURS!! Shout now! Thank him now!

Until next time,

Kingdom Confidence: A Look at Tamar

2011-07-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

One of the most popular and sought after postings on the entire blog site have been those related to Kingdom Confidence. I felt led today to post one of my favorite teachings on one of my favorite women from the bible, Tamar. Many have argued forever whether or not she was a seductress or a woman with good intentions? The key phrase here I believe is "many have argued". Have you ever been labeled or catergorized as something by someone else? Have you ever felt like you have been bombarded with the duty of trying to overcome something you once were? or have you always felt like you needed to prove yourself? Well I have instruction for you today, Rest and just be you! You cannot please everybody! Life is easy when you are just you, who God has created you to be. Others will always have something to say at some point or another, but we must understand as men and women of God we must live to please an audience of One, our heavenly father. I hope that this look at Tamar and what the Lord spoke to me about her will inspire you to embrace who you are, no matter what someone may have said about you at one point, and walk fully and confidently in the man or woman that God has called you to be. Be blessed! Enjoy. :-)

Tamar: Seductress or Savior?

Before we take a look at Tamar, take a second to read through Genesis 38:1-30.

I want to start with a little background on Tamar. Tamar was:

•assertive of her rights
•widowed twice
•guarded by the Lord, as he killed Er and Onan for their disobedience. It was apparent that her creating a seed was very important to God and it must be done.
•propositioned by Judah- she took off her widows garments and went to the street NOT to pick him up as a harlot would, but she wanted to see him and his son Shelah. Tamar wanted to see if the rumors were true, if indeed Judah had been misleading her and not planning to give her his last son even though he’d promised him to her. There were no women’s rights so when he propositioned her, she could not say no. So much would have been on the line, she could have been killed. (tactic of survival and a tactic of keeping her eye on the Lord’s promise to her)

More than likely Tamar was the talk of the town because she was twice widowed and barren. Women were deemed acceptable based on their ability to reproduce. People called her a whore, barren, black widow, outcast, loser, and not a woman. But because Tamar knew her purpose, to begin her husband’s lineage that would carry out and fulfill the lineage God had ordained to give us King David and Jesus, she remained confident in the promise. She did NOT let the words of the enemy jade her.

Her situation was unconventional, but she knew what God had said about her and what she would be the frontrunner of and she didn’t take her eye off of the prize. Instead of seeing herself as a whore or outcast, Tamar saw herself the way God saw her- as a promise keeper and his chosen one. Tamar was patient, obedient, and submissive to the process, to the public humiliation, and to the shame. Tamar was not a seductress, nor was she moved by the things that people said about her. She saved her life and King David’s.

I want to flash forward in the scriptures for a second, generations later, and take a look at King David. In Ruth 4:12, the scriptures say this:

May your house be like the house of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah, because of the offspring which the LORD will give you from this young woman.

In Ruth 4:12 at Ruth and Boaz’s wedding, the wedding blessing prayed over them and their future lineage was compared to that of Perez- the son of Tamar and Judah; thus inferring that it was a great thing. Ruth and Boaz’s future lineage would later give us King David:

Perez---Hezron---Ram---Amminadab---Nahshon---Salmon---Boaz---Obed---Jesse--David

There would never have been a David without Ruth and Boaz. There would never have been a David or Ruth and Boaz without Judah and Tamar. Ruth is in the lineage of Tamar and Judah’s son, Perez, and preserves Boaz’s part of that line. Can you say WOW??!! These women were DIVINELY CONNECTED! Tamar and Ruth’s traits of assertiveness in action, willingness to be unconventional, and deep loyalty to family (and God’s promises) are the very qualities that distinguish their descendant, King David. Ruth was faithful to Naomi and her son and Tamar was faithful to Judah and his son Er. Neither women were seductresses or manipulators, nor were they moved by the things that people said about them. Tamar saved her life when she gave in to Judah, and she saved David’s. They are literally both kingmakers.

Now for my favorite part of this teaching and what I want to highlight to bring this all in for a landing is identifying the Kingdom confidence aspect for you. After all of the judgment, embarassment, and humiliation, Tamar remained surefooted on the promise of God and was not shaken from her kingdom confidence. What makes Tamar a Kingdom Confident individual? After being widowed twice, she never lost her faith in God. She was never shaken by others’ perception of her. She was hand picked by Judah for his sons so she knew God had a promise on her and for her, and she was barren until God spoke(She endured the process). She was obedient to Judah in waiting and as a result God did what he had to do to fulfill his plan through his daughter.

What the enemy tried to use against Tamar, God used for his glory! God’s will always prevails!

We have all had it bad at some point or another, but no matter what we’ve been through or how we got to where we are, we can be confident in that it is all on purpose! It allows God to grow us into who he wants us and needs us to become for the kingdom, to create and establish our lineage, and to bring him glory. Have you ever noticed that many of the great and confident kingdom women and men have been called to unconventional means toward Kingdom greatness?
•Mary (virgin, publicly humiliated becoming pregnant with no husband)
•Ruth (widow, bankrupt)
•Tamar (widow, barren, labeled as a seductress)
•Paul (killer, blind, persecuted, denied)
•Joseph (rejected by his family, sold into slavery)

You may have had some “unconventionals” in your life, you may have been called a whore or had some areas that have been barren forever, or felt shame, or have been looked down upon, but know this:

GOD HAS CHOSEN YOU REGARDLESS!

Walk confident as Tamar and Ruth did, knowing that you are good enough. God has established a lineage in you! Had Tamar or Ruth listened to everyone else, we would have no David. And with no David we would have had no Jesus. Know and accept who you are in Christ! Your identity is found in Christ alone.

Until Next Time,

Fun Blog: He's Just Not that into you for WOMEN OF GOD

2011-07-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I would switch it up a bit tonight and do something fun, but still something that could minister to you all, specifically the ladies. As I was getting some work done this afternoon, an article popped up in the newsfeed on the front page of my search engine entitled "Signs He's Not Ready to Commit." I was curious so I read it and literally started laughing out loud. I thought to myself as I sat there that the article had the wrong name; instead of being called "Signs He's Not Ready to Commit" it should have been titled "Signs He's Just Not Into You" and of course thats when my wheels started turning. So, I began to think of things that I observe and hear all the time from single women and men and then chatted with a buddy of mine for a while about it to get another persepctive and ended up with this blog. We hear dating advice and tips from the world all the time, but something in me felt a need to provide a little something from a Kingdom perspective. This is a must read, short and sweet. Enjoy!!

The Top Signs He’s Just Not that into You for Women of God

If he texts you more than he calls...
If a man is crazy about a woman, he desires more than anything to hear her voice, enough said.

If he ignores you in public but blows up your phone when you leave...
If he ignores you in front of everyone, he doesn’t want anyone to know he even speaks to you…don’t be dumb.

If he tries to make you jealous by talking to or flirting with other women instead of making other women jealous of how well he treats you...
As Reverend Run says, boys try to appease their ego by making women jealous over them, and real men make others jealous by how well he treats his lady.

If he’s been praying about you for ages and ages...
HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! All you need to do is take it to the altar one time and God will answer, don’t be dumb ladies!!

If you are still his friend after ages and ages...
When a man wants a woman and he knows she is the woman that God has for him, he will, after prayer and counsel, very soon after put a label on her. Men are naturally ambitious, don’t make excuses for them.

If when he talks to you it is mostly about carnal things...
A man of God who is into a woman will never disrespect her and desires to take conversation to a deeper level. If he only talks to you about shallow or carnal things, beware, his flesh is doing the talking and not his heart.

If he has wandering eyes…
As Pastor Mike Hayes always says, ladies you can tell the character of man by the wandering of his eyes. When a man of God has a heart for you, he has eyes for you only, not everyone that passes by.

And finally,
If he is to busy to make time for you…
As I said earlier, men are designed with a great ambition and NOTHING can keep them away from the woman God has for them, NOTHING!!

When you truly understand your worth in Him and your kingdom value it brings to light where you are settling and illuminates how great you deserve. Know and walk in your worth! :-) You are His best and you deserve His best for your life!!

Until next time,

Sit Tight

2011-07-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

There was a little girl sitting on a bench at what looked like a train station. As she sat there, in the background the time of day was changing and different trains would come and go every now and then, yet she never moved from her spot. It was as they depict sometimes in movies where the day fades to night and the night back to day and time is just passing by. The seasons were also changing and occasionally others would join her on the bench but would leave because they would get tired of waiting. The little girl would not get up though. She was set on waiting until the right train came. A few trains would come and although sometimes tempting, she always knew that they were not the right ones. But one day something happened as she waited; something different than on any of the other days. She remained on the bench, but she turned around and looked behind her. It was as if something rose up inside of her and whispered to her to turn around. She noticed behind her what looked like an abandoned building with many windows. In the midst of one of the windows, she noticed a familiar face. She looked closely and realized that she recognized the face. It was a heavenly one, one that she realized was all too familiar. It looked like she had always pictured it to be and she knew in that moment that it was indeed who she thought it was. It was Jesus. The little girl lit up with excitement and she kept her eye on the figure as it then moved from the window and headed out to where she was. She still did not move from the bench, she simply scooted over and waited for his arrival. He came out to her, brushed his hand over her shoulder and made his way to the front of the bench and sat down beside her. With a gentle voice like she had never heard before, He whispered these words:

Because you would not get up, I came out.
Because you believed and you waited, I came out for you.

She glowed as he spoke to her, tears filled her eyes.

Soon the bench sat empty and only a bag that the little girl held in her lap remained on the bench. In the distance, a train was pulling away with the word “Life” inscribed on its side and inside sat a few passengers and the little girl and her Jesus.

As the vision faded and I came to, the Holy Spirit whispered to me that the little girl was representative of me and he said:

That girl is you and just like her, because you waited, He has come out for you.

Then, he nudged my heart to share this word with you.

One of my favorite lines in one of my favorite songs says “The giving up is the hardest part,” and I could not agree more. People might ask why you are still sitting there, just as the few did who joined the little girl on the bench, but you have to ignore that sometimes and keep believing. When giving up becomes the hardest part, then your heart and your spirit are right where they need to be, in His hands. Don’t get up from your bench too soon. Don’t hurry things and end up on the wrong train because you got impatient. Wait! Although seasons and the time of day seem to be ever changing around you, don’t leave your spot. Because very soon, you will turn and notice that, that familiar gaze has been eyeing you the entire time, watching and waiting to see if you would be faithful, if you would adhere to His promises. Then one day, He himself will come out to meet you because you waited on Him. He will lead you right to His train for your life and ride with you.

The little girl was also representative of childlike faith, what it takes to understand the goodness and ways of God. Just because it may not look like much is transpiring in the natural does not mean the angels aren’t earning overtime working on your behalf. The word “Life” on the side of the train represents what we are privileged to truly experience in its fullness when we wait on Him. Life happens when we are walking in and enjoying God’s best for us. Just as he came to meet her, so he will do for you as well. Just when you think your train isn’t coming, He shows right up and so does your train.

1 Peter 2:6
..And those who trust in Him will never be disgraced.

CONTINUE STANDING ON HIS PROMISES FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

Until next time,

MercyMe - If I Could Just sit with you awhile

2011-06-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

Victory in Defeat

2011-06-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in our lives when we face situations and facts of life that seem to be our ultimate defeat, they are actually Gods discrete ways of leading us into our greatest victory. What we think is the end of our lives as we know is in reality what paves the way for our greatest victories. Yesterday morning before church when I arose, there was a song in my heart that has always been a favorite of mine by Mercy Me called Sit With you a While. I had not heard the song in ages, but I found myself with the chorus caught in my brain and I couldn’t let go. I then played it as I was preparing to sit with Him in quiet time before service and he deposited something in me that I hope is a blessing to you readers. Enjoy.

The song is a beautiful song and it goes a little something like this:

When I cannot feel
When my wounds don’t heal
Lord I humbly kneel, hidden in you.

Lord you are my life
So I don’t mind to die
Just as long as I am hidden in you

If I could just sit with you awhile
Nothing can touch me though I’m wounded
Though I die

If I could just sit with you awhile
I need you to hold me
Moment by moment till forever passes by

As I sat and listened to the lyrics again, I remembered where I was when I first heard that song and what it was for me six years ago. At the lowest point in my life, when I thought I had seen the end of my life, when I lost my Father six years ago, I would listen to this song over and over again because I felt the very essence of what it said were the words that I longed to utter but because of such numbness and heartbreak I could not. Every single day was a battle to just live, to just breathe. Everyday I would have to force myself out of bed because I didn't want to bear the pain and heartache that day. But that was six years ago and today I sit before you healed and set free by his power and grace six years later and want to boldly tell you this:

What we think is the end of our lives as we know it, is in reality what paves the way for our greatest victories.

In the season where I did not think there was anything left, God had been secretly storing up bushels of plenty in the storehouses of heaven for me. I am who I am today ONLY because of my time in the lowest of lows. When I heard this song yesterday morning, the Lord highlighted in particular the significance of the very last line for me and what it really meant for me personally as I looked back over my life and what it can mean for you and I now as we walk through life daily. The very last line of the chorus says this:

I need you to hold me,
Moment by moment until forever passes by

As the Lord began to almost deafen me with the loudness of those few words, I realized that only because of what He took me through am I now able to understand and appreciate what they mean. He has been there, is there now, and forever will be moment by moment until forever passes by. What you are facing might seem like one of the biggest mountains of your life. You might feel like whatever you are facing is too big for God or anyone to understand. You might feel like this is a battle that you cannot win or that nothing good can emerge from. I have news for you: This defeat is the stepping stone into your greatest victory. In the lowest and most painful season of my life, in my greatest hour of defeat, I did not realize that I was stepping into my greatest victory; and as the last line says, he covered me and in many cases carried me moment by moment. In a season when I didn’t understand why it felt like the world was caving in on me, the Lord was prepping me for today. I contended and I won. It wasn’t easy, but God allowed me to make it. Sometimes I cannot believe how far God has brought me from that dark season, but I know that God didn’t make a mistake by letting it happen either. God is a God of order and purpose. Although when we are walking through the tough times and low places we don’t necessarily want to hear order and purpose, it is in those seasons that God ushers us into our places of greatest victory, greatest revelation and appreciation of who he is, and our places of reign. In my despair, I couldn’t see much in my future. I have to be honest and transparent with you and say I was lucky just make it from day to day. I battled depression and abused alcohol as a result of my pain and I did not realize that through those dark days God was birthing something beautiful in me and through me. Had I not walked through hell that season, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. I had to trust God in a new way. I had to totally and completely trust and depend on him, which I believe was the catalyst of shaping my heart to become one after His own today. I wouldn’t understand the goodness of God if I hadn’t walked through my storm, and most of all I wouldn’t truly understand the love of God. The Lord ordered my steps from hell back to paradise, from sorrow back to joy, from death back to life. The great victories that the Lord has enabled me to win easily and walk into now I believe with all my heart have been the harvest the Lord has blessed me to reap because of my time sown in the caves of brokenness and despair just as David’s time in the cave equipped him to reign. Your places of defeat are training and preparation for your reign. Because I contended then, I am equipped to contend today because I know and understand the power of God. I know now that nothing is impossible for God and I believe it with everything in me!

One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Peter 2:6 and I believe its God’s declaration over us to remind us that moment by moment, until forever passes by, he is with us always, in the good times and the bad. When it looks like we have a bunk in hell and seems like an extended stay in the pits, just remember this:

1 Peter 2:6
….Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disgraced.

You will always come out on top. God never fails.

As you have seen here, God has used my season in hell for the good of both myself and for many others. I have had the opportunity to counsel so many who have lost loved ones and those who simply needed encouragement through those “I don’t think I can make it” seasons and I delight in those opportunities for him to use me to speak life and healing to others. I picture it as if the Lord is allowing me to walk through halls and halls of bunks surrounded by the fires of life and what seems like hell, to kneel down and speak life and hope into so many ears through His power in me. It blesses my heart more than anything else in this world to see others set free. But sometimes ladies and gents, it takes having had a bunk in hell to gain access to go back there to minister to the new kid in your old spot. I once heard Bishop T.D. Jakes say something that was absolutely life changing for me, something that I have never forgotten. He said:

Some of the greatest and most influential men and women of God have only been given such opportunitites because they have tasted the very depths of hell. Never judge someone just based on what you see on the outside because in many cases it came at a great price.

Hold on and keep believing! Press through! While fighting your greatest fight, you are preparing the first steps into your ministry and into the greatest victory of your life. God is ordering your steps into your great destiny.

Until next time,

Everything's a Gray Area

2011-06-17T05:44:00.000-07:00

The sky gets dark
The storm rages
The gray sky erupts
To make room for the rising of the sunshine

I am a very black or white person. I dont work well with gray areas because I like definition. It is almost paradoxical in the sense that I am incredibly spontaneous, yet gray areas make me uncomfortable. I am currently in a gray area in many areas of my life at the moment and I am learning daily to embrace it and worship because I know definition is on the brink in all of those areas in my life. I love ministering to you all from my place of learning as I find that it makes it more applicable and real for you as the reader.
I am walking in the gray. The sky was dark at one point, the storms have already come, and now the skies are gray as I await for my sunrise. The gray area is that area right before God's greatest for you manifests right before your eyes. The gray area is that time when God is making the finishing touches on your blessings and they are in transit to your doorstep; and the time where he fashions within you a heart that longs for His own heart, a place of true worship.

God has fashioned me to become a what I would like to call a professional waiter. One of the greatest struggles I have had in my walk has been with patience and not being able to see black and white at all times. At one point I loathed gray areas, yes loathed. I have come a long way, while still at times I get impatient, the Lord has forced me to master the art of really experiencing and wallowing in the gray areas and I am grateful.

Our gray areas are where God can bless us the most. They are the areas right past the storm that if we can withstand, God can trust that he can release his favor and blessings to us because we refuse to walk away from His process and His promises. All great things take time and they require a little time wallowing in the gray area. Our gray areas are perfect opportunities for us to worship God the most for who he is and for what he is yet to do in our lives. I picture the Lord smiling from ear to ear when he sees his children worship after a storm or in a season where there is no definition, in the season of waiting. I see it as an illustration of the vastness of our love and trust in Him and it shows Him that even when there is nothing set in stone or when he requires us to wait for Him to move that we will continue to worship Him.

Our gray areas give God time to make his best even better for us. The Lord asked me one night when I was murmuring under my breath about being stuck in the gray area, "Do you want what you are asking for incomplete? Unfinished? Or are you going to hang out in the gray area, hush, and worship me because of who I am?" Lets just say I shut my mouth and have been doing my best to shut up and be still in my gray areas. When giving up shifts from being the easy thing to do to being the hardest part, God has already fashioned your heart to where it needs to be, on Him, to receive all that He has promised you.

Remember, you have already bypassed your storm and the sun is what is on the other side. Embrace the gray skies in your life because in an instant, God can raise up your sun and pour out His perfect will and promises on you.

Until next time,

Isaiah 43:18-19But forget all that
It is nothing compared to what I am going to do
For I am about to do something new
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

Dance With You

2011-06-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

I love music and I like to dance. I am one of those people where you can almost put anything on and I will move to it haha! But dancing alone is never as fun as dancing with a partner. I mean no matter how you look at it, having company on the dance floor is the best. When we dance through life, it is also better to have company on the dance floor, company that is always there ready, willing, and able.

The Lord presented me with the most beautiful illustration the other day that painted such a beautiful picture for me in regards to us as His children dancing through life with or without a partner. I am not talking about necessarily an actual partner or spouse, but I am talking about with Him as our partner. In this illustration, Jesus and I were ballroom dancing. It was a very formal and beautiful ballroom, very regal and glorious in nature, and in the middle were just He and I. As we positioned to start dancing, He met my eyes immediately and never looked away. As He began to speak to me and the music began, it was then time to move. As we began to move, He began to whisper one phrase to me:

“Never lose sight of my eyes. You will never miss a step if you never lose sight of my eyes.”

I was listening and laughing very candidly saying, Ok Lord, but if you don’t watch your feet I might accidentally step on your toe. Then, as we began dancing I began to worry if we would run into the wall or miss a step and run into something else because we weren’t paying attention to where we were going, we couldn’t see what was really going on around us since our eyes were focused on the other. As I followed His lead, heart beating with nervousness of stepping on the Father’s toes, or of not knowing every step or where I was, the Lord stopped and beckoned me to lock eyes with him again and he spoke the same sweet phrase:

“Never lose sight of my eyes. You will never miss a step if you never lose sight of my eyes.”

I apologized and gained my composure to begin again, but I was in for a surprise this time. The music had sped up and now we were to dance still eye to eye, but now from room to room. Each room appeared as a typical room in a home, but as we stepped into each of these rooms they would warp from a room in a house into a situation in life; from everyday living, to a hospital room where a child was being born, to a church in the middle of a ministry service. I tried my best and was fairly successful with fixating my eyes upon His, but was in both such awe and confusion by the vast amount of things going on around me now and at the same time trying to deem their significance. As we danced from room to room, I caught myself every few steps glancing around, then down at our feet, trying to ensure that we weren’t going to run into anything and to see if I was still in step. Then here and there I would meet eyes with Him again and He would say to me again in that still small voice:

“Never lose sight of my eyes. You will never miss a step if you never lose sight of my eyes.”

Soon, the music completely faded and we stopped. Gazing into my eyes, the Lord spoke this to me and then instructed me to speak this to you. Enjoy.

How often does the Lord want to dance through life with us? Believe it or not that is His desire, that is what pleases His heart the most. He desires to dance through the ballroom of life with us every step of the way. Through every room and every walk of life and to the rhythm of every song, sweet or sad, fast or slow, He wants to be there in stride with us. He wants our eyes locked on His, but we find ourselves just as I kept doing, looking around us and watching our feet, so focused on running into things or getting out of stride instead of making the dance easier for ourselves and fixating our eyes on His. The Lord spoke to me this:

When you never lose sight of my eyes, you will never miss a step! Lock eyes with me in this dance of life and I will always make sure you never miss a step or run into anything. When you focus on your feet, you will likely remain out of stride the whole time, but if you lock eyes with me and never look down, you will always be in perfect sync.

God desires for us to never look down, to never worry about the imperfect footwork, to never worry about crashing into anything around us. If we fix our gaze during our dance of life on Him, He watches all around us in His omnipotence and His great power and He will never allow us to fall. The rooms are an illustration of our different walks of life and seasons. As we transition and dance from season to season with Him, we must know that yes each will look different and while we are eager to look around and scope out the details and see what will be easy or hard, we must simply learn to trust Him and let Him lead us through. We will find then that those rooms that may have looked unfamiliar, new, or difficult, will always be easy to embrace and stride through with Him as our partner and our lead.

As we disarmed and I hugged Him, He kissed my forehead and spoke that simple, sweet phrase to me one last time:

“Never lose sight of my eyes. You will never miss a step if you never lose sight of my eyes.”

Then he turned around and left the room.

In body maybe,
but never in spirit.
When the music of life starts and the dance of life begins,
He is there to lead us every step of the way.
In every stride and in every season,
He is there.
Sometimes, he requires us to take the first step in showing up to the ballroom ready to dance,
and then if we let Him,
he comes in to take our hand and lead the dance.

Until next time,

Psalm 4:3
The Lord set apart the Godly for himself.
The Lord will answer when I call to Him.

Hello Fear!

2011-05-31T06:50:00.000-07:00

Exodus 14:13

Dont be afraid. Stand firm and see the Lord's salvation. The enemy you see today, you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; just be still.

I am really excited about this new season approaching. I believe that that it is a literal shift in seasons but also the brink of a new season in the spirit. I have been very enthralled lately with conquering the spirit of fear. It's like something has stirred up in me to pray against this enemy of fear and call forth the spirit of courage and boldness in us as his children. This is the season that we as the children of God need to stare fear straight in the face and say, "Hello Fear!" We must conquer it and walk in the boldness that God has called us to. I think so often we inadvertently fall into mediocrity or the status quo in many areas of our lives simply because fear has secretly come in the back door and hindered us from walking in EVERYTHING that he has assigned us to.

So, a couple of weeks ago I came up with a spontaneous and random idea to do this summer. I have decided to call it Hello Fear: 40 Things I've Never Done Before. This summer, I have decided to compile a list of 40 things that i've never done before, things that fear have really kept me from doing or lack of courage have kept me from tackling. They are not necessarily all huge things, actually most of them are rather small, yet I feel the exercise in itself is what it's all about; to physically disable the hand of the enemy in every single part of our lives, no matter how small or big. It's funny because even as I am compiling this list, there is this freedom and vibrance that is rising up inside of me and I haven't even completed them yet haha! As believers, we must tackle fear head on! When there are no areas of fear or closets hidden that we aren't afraid to open, the enemy loses his power over us.

I encourage you to join in with me. Think of 40 things you have never done before or that you have been afraid to ever try. I am going to personally write about each of mine and my heart is to encourage you all to conquer the fears in your life through my journey.

So, what are 40 things that you have never done before? Share them with me! Join the challenege!! Follow me on Twitter too @ fashionista2541

Until next time,

Oldie but goodie: Temporary Lameness or Permanent Disability?

2011-05-25T08:56:00.000-07:00

“God makes us uncomfortable for a little while to allow us to be comfortable for a long time. He asks us to trust Him when he shuts doors, when he moves people out of our lives, and when He breaks our heart. When God is up to something big, when he is about to bring something big in your life is when you experience the most discomfort, correction, and change.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes~

The Naked Truth About Correction

Correction sucks sometimes. You feel like you are on the path of ultimate righteousness, things are going great, when suddenly God moves a little discomfort in, a little correction. Initially we get offended and almost angry with God for rocking our boat. You think, God I have dealt with this, I am healed, or I have moved on from that. But, then God forces you to address and deal with whatever it is. Correction ultimately brings healing; And where there is healing, there is freedom and room for God to do a great work and release a great blessing.

A Blessing in Disguise

Bishop T.D. Jakes put it best: God brings forth situations or things in our lives that are meant to serve merely as a temporary lameness in our lives, yet if we do not handle them correctly, then they can ultimately become permanent incapacitations. So often times what we fail to realize is those situations or things that God has designed to serve as a temporary lameness in our lives represent correction and pruning that God is doing on our behalf. As I began writing this, God gave me a neat analogy that I think might make this resonate in your hearts in a powerful way. When you are creating a perfect document or when you have a blank canvas in art, you are extra careful to make sure that there are no stray marks, mistakes, or smudges. If you are writing something, you take your time, check and revise, and pull out your white out to correct or get rid of something. In art, you use your white or ivory paint as your correction fluid, it is there for the sole purpose that the final masterpiece be smudge free. God is a lot like our correction fluid, our white-out; our white paint. Our lives are like the perfect or important document or the canvas on which the masterpiece is being written or created. God is also the artist, and we are in a sense his apprentice and assistant because we are learning alongside the King and our free will ultimately gives us some responsibility in the creation of the final masterpiece as well. Correction can be annoying when you are writing or painting, it kind of messes up your flow. You usually don’t make mistakes on purpose, it usually happens when you are moving too fast or when you get so wrapped up in getting finished rather than embracing the process. Now let me connect this to our lives.
God is both the artist or writer and the correction fluid. We are the paper or the canvas in which God spends years perfecting this masterpiece on. When we have been in apprenticeship for a while and have both watched him and grown in him, he will eventually allow us to become an assistant. Sometimes he will sit back and give us some space to help create the masterpiece. But, we get eager and anxious. We start to move too fast beyond our capabilities and we are so focused on finishing it, rather than just enjoying our involvement in the process. Soon, God has to take the brush back and pull out the correction fluid, the white out or white paint, correct our mistakes, and take over it himself again for a while. Once the corrections are all touched up, he doesn’t stop there and give us back the brush; he hangs on to it and finishes up a little more of the masterpiece. We then sit back slightly irritated that our turn is over and he has the brush again, but that frown quickly turns to a smile after we see more of the masterpiece he creates.

Correction requires maturity. Maturity requires submission. In order to appropriately receive and learn from correction from God, you must reach a maturity and a position in your life where you understand that it is not at all about you, but about God; where you realize that you are merely an apprentice and God is the senior artist. You must submit to God’s will completely, not partially, in order to mature in Christ. It is so easy to ask God to be your everything and say that you submit to him, but the true testing comes when he takes the brush from you; Will you let him keep it and show you a thing or two, or will you pout and scream? Think about it…

The Tragedy of Not Correcting

I once heard Pastor Mike Hayes say that the greatest tragedy in life is when God turns us over to ourselves; this is so true. When we do not use our correction fluid when we first make the mistake, or when we don’t listen and allow God to correct us when he wants to, the document or canvas has to eventually be discarded because the mistakes are too great to write over at this point. You know sometimes you get lucky and you can fix a few mistakes on the sly by correcting quickly, turning it into something else somehow or drawing something over it. Those things work temporarily, but the thing I want you to grasp here is the sentence right before this: You can fix a few of the mistakes on the sly by quickly correcting, by turning it into something else somehow, or drawing something over it. Because you are too selfish or lazy to go back and fix it when it first happens, you are forced to just settle and draw over it or somehow try to turn it into something else, thus ultimately distorting a piece of what the masterpiece was originally supposed to look like. So think about it this way, what happens when you do this over and over, here and there, pretty soon the mistakes start to really show and eventually the masterpiece looks nothing like it was supposed to. You have officially settled for an alternate masterpiece, changed what the artist had in mind, and cheated yourself of the true beauty of the originally designed masterpiece. The Lord says taking a little extra time to correct in the process or early on, can save you from ruining an entire masterpiece. A little extra time correcting small things in our lives can keep both ourselves and the enemy from sabotaging the masterpiece.

Getting to the Root of the Problem

Sometimes we just think the correction is getting rid of the tree, we think ok now that the tree is gone, the problem is gone. But God says, “Let me extract the root so that it will never sprout up again. Cutting down the tree is easy, but extracting the root takes hard work.” So, if God is the artist and we are his apprentice/assistant, he is not only responsible for teaching us how to do it the right way, but also how to not make the same mistakes over and over again. If God just let us make the mistakes and incorrectly correct them, then we would ultimately keep incorrectly correcting the mistakes and never learn the correct way. Whereas, if we let God show us the root of the mistake and break us from making it, then we will not continue make those same mistakes anymore. Allowing the roots to remain ultimately gives the enemy the power to sprout up weeds anytime he wants to. But, when God extracts the roots, no matter what weather or what situation may come, no weeds will ever sprout up.

So remember, God’s corrections are not meant to keep you in discomfort or lame forever. They are meant to be temporary, unless of course you allow them to become otherwise. Don’t let selfishness and pride allow God’s corrections to become permanent incapacitations or disabilities. Godly correction allows for a greater character to spring forth in you, a deeper connection with the Father, and a chance for your great masterpiece to be created exactly as God’s blueprint has it. God wants what it is that you desire for your life more than you want it for your own life. If you allow him to be the author and finisher of your masterpiece, all things – good or bad will always work together for your good. Be blessed!

Proverbs 10:17
“People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore correction will go astray.”

Proverbs 15:5
“Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise.

Proverbs 15:10
“Whoever abandons the right path will be severely disciplined; whoever hates correction will die.”

Unbelief, Unrest

2011-05-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 3:14
For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ.

For the past several days, a word from the Lord that I have been receiving time after time has been, rest in me. I had taken something the Lord had spoken, thanked the Lord, but inadvertently in the back of my mind I can be honest and say I had doubt as well. I was telling the Lord that I was resting and trusting Him, but was I really? The answer was no. Although I thought I was, there was a hint of unbelief cowering behind my complete faith façade on an issue and God was bringing it to the light for me to see. Deep down in the depths I can be transparent and say I had unbelief. As I spent time with the Lord, he brought me to a set of scriptures that really ministered to my heart and showed me the dangers of unbelief and how it leads us to the destination of unrest. Without rest, we cannot focus all that we are on all that he is.

Hebrews 3 and 4 talk about God’s rest. Typically we look at these chapters in terms of rest being eternity and salvation, but I believe there is something more, something quite practical. Throughout these two chapters, Moses leading the people of Israel out of Egypt is the reference point. The scriptures talk about how because the people rebelled and hardened their hearts against the Lord time and time again, God declared over them that they would never enter His place of rest. Because they had unbelief, they forfeited their opportunity to attain rest in the Lord. (Hebrews 3:8-11). Again while this rest is in reference to eternal inheritances, I believe that rest here is also in reference to simply the peace of God. When we are plagued by unbelief and doubt, just like those that Moses led out of Egypt, we will not enter His rest. He will not grant us His rest and peace when we cannot believe in His faithfulness. When we are harboring pockets of unbelief, God will not release rest to us; we will have anxiety and restlessness. Unbelief triggers unrest. In our lives where there are issues of anxiety, worry, or unrest, there is a likely chance that in that area somehow there is unbelief, there lies hidden a subtle inability to completely trust God. In my situation, I realized that the reason I felt like I could not attain peace about this was because I doubted God’s plan and I doubted God’s word. I realized that I had to move from the position of thinking "if" he would do it to the place of "when" he would do it. Partial faith is the equivalent to having no faith and we know that without faith it is impossible to please God.

Hebrews 4:1-5 says this:
1God’s promise of entering his rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to experience it.
2 For this good news—that God has prepared this rest—has been announced to us just as it was to them. But it did them no good because they didn’t share the faith of those who listened to God.
3 For only we who believe can enter his rest. As for the others, God said,
“In my anger I took an oath:
‘They will never enter my place of rest,”
even though this rest has been ready since he made the world.
4 We know it is ready because of the place in the Scriptures where it mentions the seventh day: “On the seventh day God rested from all his work.”
5 But in the other passage God said, “They will never enter my place of rest.”

In my opinion, the meat of these chapters lies in 4:13. The scripture says this:

For only we who believe can enter his rest and as for the others they will never enter my place of rest.

God has not called us to tarry or worry over anything, He desires for us to rest in him knowing that He is faithful to perform. In addition to that, who are we to have the audacity to doubt the creator of the heavens and earth? I was so grateful that the Lord called me out on this because my unbelief was hidden from me and because He ministered to me I realized the reason I could not rest was because in the back of my mind I was saying, God I don’t know about this, I just don’t know if you can do this. Unrest is the result of unbelief. Rest is peace and contentment, knowing that God will do the work in which he started; and in order to attain rest, we must dig deep and scrape of any remnants of unbelief. One of my favorite quotes is one from Pastor David Binion and it is that we were created to desire only that which He can fulfill. Rest in knowing that whatever possibilities or desires are in your heart, he placed there in order that he fulfill them. Rest in his promise, Rest in His peace, and don’t stop believing.

Hebrews 4:9-11:
9 So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. 10 For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. 11 So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall.

Until next time,

Abba's

2011-05-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

We unwittingly project unto God our own attitudes and feelings toward ourselves. God made man in his own image and man returned the compliment.
~Blaise Pascal~

Tragic.

Living begins for us when we accept our wounded selves. When we can see ourselves in the mirror of grace and acceptance in which God sees us, we can change the world. One of my greatest passions is teaching about confidence and overcoming self hatred and self worthlessness. When I read this quote, it inspired me to touch on this subject again. God has called us to be and to do great things in this world. Despite our shortcomings, He has a great plan and purpose for us. He made us in his own image and by default we make him into our own image by slipping into the thinking that his ways and thoughts are equivalent to those of man. We get so absorbed in ourselves and our flaws and imperfections that we often miss the vastness of his love for us and his unconditional acceptance of everything we are. And because we are self absorbed and never attain full understanding of his great love and acceptance of us, we cheat ourselves out of an unbridled, ridiculously incredible relationship with Him. Thomas Merton once said this and I believe it rings so true:

The reason we never enter into the deepest reality of our relationship with God is that we so seldom acknowledge our utter nothingness before Him.

When we accept our utter nothingness before Him, we accept the fact that His love and acceptance are all that makes us good. When we accept our nothingness before Him, we focus less on performance because we know that no matter what the world or our pasts tell us, we have been made right in His eyes. We can go to depths and places in the spirit and in the natural that are unfathomable if we understand that we dont need to project our own attitudes and feelings about ourselves onto God. He has his own perception about us, regardless of what we have done or where we may have been before, and its a good one. I want to leave you with a saying from one of my absolute favorite authors Henri Nouwen that I hope blesses you.

Self rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "beloved". Being the beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.

Learn to see yourself as He sees you, as the Beloved. Sometimes we are our toughest critics and that gives the enemy access to build limitations around our thinking and ultimately our destiny. No matter what you have done, know that you are loved and you are forgiven. Perfection is boring. Imperfections give things character. It's ok to have flaws, his grace is sufficient enough to cover any and all of them. Smile, your Abba's child.

Until next time,

Atypical Hero

2011-05-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

So I was having story time with my students this past week when I had a sudden revelation and a lead in to this blog. I was reading them the famous epic Beowulf. Beowulf was a rather atypical hero. He was not as strong or mighty as most heroes, nor was he tall or good looking. He was average, an ordinary person chosen for a big job. As I was reading I had an epiphany. Although not necessarily profound, I found this to be so similar to God's selection process of his heavenly heroes, us. Initially I was like God im not a hero, but the Holy Spirit said you are my heroes here on earth, assigned to fight for my kingdom and my people here on this earth. God has picked us as his heroes, despite our atypical or unperfect nature and for that alone I am so grateful. It's a blessing to know that despite my past, despite my flaws, despite my shortcomings, God has assigned me a journey.

Of all of the atypical traits that made Beowulf unique I feel that the one that made him especially distinct was the fact that he embraced the good and evil, both the successes and the shortcomings in his life and in himself, making him even more humble, intriguing, and usable. God hasnt asked us to come perfect before his throne, but to come boldly. This hero understood that he had to embrace his light and his dark. My favorite part in the story is where he comes across an evil adversary and he tells one of his men that there is good and evil in all of us at some point and that we must not forget that we had to once overcome evil to become good. He told him that the evil adversaries were not evil, but it was the evil within them that they could not overcome or win against. He saw them for what they could become, just as the heralds, those who chose and called him, in his life had once seen him. He didnt forget where he had come from and what he had come through. I think one of the greatest tragedies happens when we forget where we have come from and we minister only from the good. Testimony has the power to liberate others, all of it, not some of it or only the good things. One of the things I love most that God has done in my life personally is seeing him free me from the bondage of shame and teaching me to embrace the light and the dark. I have found that as I unveil it all, others are set free, which is my hero's journey here on earth. Because I know what it is like to struggle with certain things, I can in turn let God use my experience and testimony to liberate others. God didnt pick me because of anything good I have done let me tell you, but he picked me because I was willing and continue to let him expose my strengths and weaknesses, and simply because he loves me. Your ability to embrace your light and your dark qualifies you for him to use you because the enemy has no power when there are hidden nooks in our lives, shame, or facades.

Beowulf knew he wasnt perfect or what everyone deemed as a "typical" hero, but he knew he was qualified because of the call on his life. He knew that greatness was in him. I'm ok with not being perfect, nor do I ever want to be because that's boring haha, and I know im qualified because of the call on my life. Likewise, you are qualified because he has called you, despite what you may see or believe about yourself. The part of your story that you try to cover up or leave out could be the part of your story that God may have needed for another of his children to hear.

I want to leave you with one of my favorite scriptures, one that set me free from shame once and for all. It was this:

1 Corinthians 1:26-31 (Today's New International Version)

26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let those who boast boast in the Lord.”

Until next time,

An Ode to My Mom

2011-05-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

When I look over my life I count myself so blessed. God has blessed me above and beyond and I cannot complain. I am so grateful for his grace and the many great things he has placed in my life. But I think the one of the greatest of these things that he has blessed me with is my beautiful mother. Here is an ode to my greatest cheerleader, my greatest friend. I love you mom.

When I think about her, there is a joy that fills my heart that I cannot explain, laughter that subtly erupts and tears of gratefulness that fall from my eyes. I know that I have been blessed with a true jewel from heaven to call my mom and my friend. A woman of great faithfulness, a woman who never gives up. A woman of great confidence and integrity. She is a woman who told me that I could do whatever I set my heart to, she was a woman who introduced me to the love of my life, Jesus. She saw the good in me when I didnt see it in myself. She is the woman who has cleaned up too many of my messes. She is the angel that God sent me to live and dwell with during my stay here on earth. She is the woman and the mother that I want to be someday; The woman that I pray I can be half as amazing as in my life. The woman that I am excited to call the future grandmother of my children someday. She has made me the woman that I am today and without her in my court, I dont know where I would be. I am proud and honored to call her my mother. If God didnt do anything else for me in this life, I could still count it as joy because of his son he sent and because he gave me the best friend and mother I could ever ask for.

Beautiful! Amazing! Inspiring! Funny! Generous! Wise! Just a few words to describe her. Happy Mother's Day mommy! I LOVE YOU!! :)

Joy and Sadness: A Prayer

2011-05-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

So as I am sure you all have heard, Osama Bin Laden, leader of the Al Qaida, was captured and killed. He and his regime were responsible for the 9/11 terrorist attacks in 2001. It has been ten years and finally justice has been served. While it was comforting to hear the news, it was also very hard for me to handle. I have had a hard time since last night and even today it has been very emotional for me; very bittersweet. In their culture, martyrdom is looked upon as a great thing. They are not mourning but celebrating that he died for his people. Sadly to them, he is considered a hero. We must come together and pray people. If you think that these men have been sitting around doing nothing for ten years, you can think again. Sadly, there is a plan of retaliation from them in the works and we must begin praying it down now. We must not let our guard down as people of God, we must continue praying and harder than we ever have before. The enemy will retaliate, but we hold the power to pray down their plans and schemes.

It has been especially sore for me because I have a young cousin who is serving in Afghanistan. Caleb is 25 years old and a father and a husband. I found myself celebrating this victory of our country for maybe 2 minutes, but then immediately following I began to weep. All I could think about were the brave men and women who are over there fighting for our country, who are now in the middle of something that has become even more dangerous. I write this because it is very dear to my heart. It is very easy for us to get caught up in celebrating so much that we let our guards down. But, as we celebrate the national day of prayer this week, lets make it the national week of prayer and start now. With family over there, I see this as something incredibly serious. My heart aches for Caleb and for the other men and women serving just as he is. We need to pray for hoards of Angels to encircle and protect them more than ever before. Pray this prayer with me:

Father,
We thank you for your vengeance. We thank you that you are our avenger. Thank you for crushing the enemy under your foot and for protecting our country, our troops, and our leaders. We are so gracious that you have held us all in your hands. Father I pray that you would continue to cover and protect our leaders, our nation, and our troops and send your angels to cover and protect us. Send your Holy Spirit to be the guide and advisor for our leaders. Father, supernaturally cover them and cancel the plans of Al Qaida and anyone else seeking to bring danger or terror against our nation and our people. Overshadow us Lord like never before.

I specifically pray for our troops and that you would cover and protect them. Cover their families as we await for their return and bless them to return safe and alive in Jesus' name. Give them courage to continue their mission and their assignment. I cast down the spirit of nervousness and fear in the troops and in us as their families. Give us peace and comfort, Lord.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Until next time,

Nice Guys Finish Last

2011-04-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

There is a famous quote that I recall hearing time and time again: Nice Guys Finish Last. If you are unfamiliar with it, it means basically that those who push and shove their way to the top are usually successful and inevitably rise to the top faster; while the nice guys who are patient and courteous always seem to have it harder or get left behind. I titled todays message Nice Guys Finish Last because I found it so fitting with the scriptures and word that the Lord has given me to present to you today. So often we think just like in the natural that in the kingdom too it seems at times that the nice guys finish last. Im a christian why do I have to wait so long for this when Johnny in the world seems to get it all whenever he wants? Why when I follow God with all I have does it seem like I have to wait an extended time for everything? These statements sound familiar? I can be transparent and say that I myself have had these moments, I know what it feels like when you seem to always finish last. But, why should we as children of God feel this way? I mean we know that simply because of His grace and love toward us we will finish great anyway, so why do we worry about whether it is first or last? One of the greatest demons we will ever face I believe is our flesh and our own selfishness. We feel like we are entitled to things, when in actuality we should just be grateful He even puts up with us. God has not forgotten you. He sees you, he hears you, and he will answer you. Just because it seems that you are finishing last does not mean he has disregarded his promises. When we finish last, God has time to breed great character in us and I believe that it actually means that we will reap the harvest first. Let me explain...

Matthew 19:30 says this:
But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

Heavenly inheritances are not given as earthly ones are, based on merit or set upon contingencies. Heavenly inheritances are given because of God's love for us. It is easy to feel overlooked or forgotten. Maybe you have been praying about something or waiting on God to send you something for what has felt like forever, but rest assured he has not forgotten you. Or, maybe you feel like you are unworthy or too fresh in the things of God to be worthy of a blessing from him; or maybe you are on the other end feeling entitled as if God owes you something better because you have been following him longer. But know this: no matter where you are, Jesus said:

Many who are first will be last, and many who are last will become first.

God protects us when we are last. He wants to take his time equipping, healing, strengthening, and developing our character and harvest. They say nice guys finish last and I think its a good thing. It may appear that you are last in the natural, but you are first in his book. Consider it a privelge to finish last, it means that God is spending extra time perfecting his promise for you.

I believe that this scripture is huge! There is no rank in the grace walk, God loves and accepts our love whether we came to him first in line or last in line. A little further on in Matthew 20 in the parable of the workers in the vineyard, Jesus compares God's kingdom and blessings to a landowner seeking out to hire workers for his vineyard. In verses 1-2, Jesus says that the owner set a price and agreeed to pay all of them a denarius for the day. As the parable progresses, some are hired at 9 AM while others as late as 5 PM that evening. With our natural eyes we say that the ones hired as late as 5 didnt deserve the days wages, for they had not slaved as much as the others. But our works cannot reap an inheritance from heaven for us, our persistance in waiting and believing in Him does.

But, I love how verses 6-10 refute such futile thoughts. The scriptures say this:

6 About five in the afternoon he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’

7 “‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.

“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’

8 “When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his supervisor, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’

9 “The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. 10 So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius.

Verse 7 shows us that those who were hired last were waiting befor the landownwer arrived. The scriptures say that the first ones were standing around and doing nothing when he came to them, they felt entitled because they were there early. The last ones hired walked in humility and waited until their time came. They didnt give up and leave, nor did they play the pity card or argue it wasnt fair that they were hired at the end of the day; they just walked in submission to the process, waited their turn, and were humbled to be chosen at all. The work day was almost over, but they knew no matter what it looked like in the natural, the landowner would come for them. In verses 8-9, we see that they are rewarded. The scriptures tell us this:

8 “When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his supervisor, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’

9 “The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. 10 So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius.

They were chosen last, but reaped first. Verses 8-9 tell us that the landowner requested that they be rewarded their wages earlier than those who had gotten their "early'. They endured longer and reaped sooner. Sometimes enduring is the road we must take to get to destination harvest. Their one hour of work was appreciated and rewarded just as much as the seven or eight hours put in by the first group hired. I believe God rewarded them first because of their heart and because they had endured all of those hours of waiting to be hired, only to be chosen last. Sometimes its easy for us to think we are entitled because we have been walking the Christian walk for a long time, we have put in our 8 hours or come in "early" to earn the days wages; but the world's merit system and seniority does not hold up in the Kingdom. You can be last in the choosing, but His generous hand can come and move you from the end of the list to the top of the list at any moment. You will always reap your reward. You will inherit His promises regardless of how late it may seem in the natural.

No matter where you are in the line, especially if you feel like you are in the back, at any moment he can move you up to the front. Just know that you will reap the treasure he has for you no matter what, and more than likely first because many who are first now will become last, and many who are last now will become first. God has not forgotten about you. Instead, count it joy when you are chosen last, it just means you are closer to reaping first.

Until next time,

Chosen

2011-04-17T18:30:00.000-07:00

"How glorious the splendor of a human heart that trusts that it is loved!"
~Brennan Manning~

I was walking in the grocery store today and I heard a whisper from the Lord saying:

"I love you more than you can ever know. I love you more than you could ever love me because I made you, I chose you first."

Then, later this evening I was sitting on the couch when the Lord whispered it again:

"I love you more than you can ever know. I love you more than you could ever love me because I made you, I chose you first."

My heart was duly touched when I heard this. My response initially was well God I know you love me and I thank you so much for reminding me, but when really meditated on it, I realized it was so much bigger. God loves us more than we could ever possibly love him because he created us, his children. His love for us is so immense, yet sometimes we forget how big it really is. As I meditated on this, the Lord nudged my heart to share this with you all tonight. Although we know that He loves us, this is the sweetest thing to be reminded of from time to time, that our Heavenly Father loves us more than we could ever fathom, that he loves us more than we could ever love him. Not because we dont love him enough, but because his desire and love for us is far too vast because he simply chose us first. As I ponder this I think about what it is like for us in human relationships. The pursuer always loves harder because they have chosen that person to pursue. Out of all of those that they have come across in their life, they select the one to persist after. It is the same way that Christ sees us. He chose us, each of us individually, and his heart longs to pursue us. Love is greater and stronger from the pursuer. God's love is greater and stronger for us than our's could ever possibly be for him simply because he chose us first. Just as in human relationships, the pursuee (if that is a word LOL) eventually develops a strong love for the pursuer, but no matter what, it's never as strong as that of the pursuer because chose them, they loved them first. I think this is so beautiful.

You are sought out, says the Lord. I love you more than you could ever imagine, more than you could ever love me. It is not humanly possible for you to love me as much as I love you simply because I chose you first. I gave my life for you. Know that every moment of your life, I love you. In the good times and the bad, my love for you never changes. My love never changes. I love you, beloved.

No matter what friends, know that God loves you. Sometimes we just need a sweet reminder of how great his love for us is. I hope this blesses someone, somewhere out there tonight.

Lamentations 3:22
The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.

Until next time,

The Curse of the Quick Fix

2011-03-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that everything involving a quick fix is inevitably a flop? The first thing that comes to mind when discussing a quick fix is the allusion that drugs give off to those desperate for a quick fix. Most addicts see it as a quick fix option to pain, hurts, brokenness, a means to forget the chaos of reality; yet we know in the long run they are a flop and lead people astray and far away from their dreams and destinies. What about those diet fads? Lose 10 pounds drinking this “juice” in 10 days! Sadly, we know that is a big lie and it leads the people to false hopes and broken hearts in the end, furthering damaging their self esteem and ego, leading them to believe that nothing will ever work. But what if those addicts before they became addicts would have endured? What if those desiring weight loss would have endured the process of learning to eat right and work out? Well you all know the answers, the addicts would never have become addicts and the weight warriors would have found and endured a long term method to attain realistic and manageable results and ways of life that could guarantee their weight loss success. Enduring is the birthing or killing of our great destinies. Jumping out of the fire early in many cases can kill us, while remaining in the furnace can save our lives and keep in place God’s plan for our ultimate destiny.

I recently saw a movie called the Adjustment Bureau that was absolutely awesome! I enjoy movies, but I have very few that really capture my attention and heart in a special way; but this one became one of those few. Without giving away too much, the movie is simply about a young man dealing with his ultimate destiny. The adjustment bureau serves as a committee that serves to make sure that individuals remain on the correct blue print or route in which they were originally designed for. The adjustment bureau is hard core about their job and will do anything to steer this gentleman’s life the way that the original plan designated, so much so that he has to endure some things in the process, things that were not all easy. As I sat there watching this I pondered to myself, how often do we as believers avoid the enduring just to get to the grand prize? We want things so out of order, we don’t realize that the enduring is on the map too; it’s the back roads or detours of life. Pastor Amie Dockery, an amazing woman of God from my church in Dallas Covenant Church, said something so incredible about this. She said:

How can we take our birth right and destiny that the Lord has for us when we cannot even endure the process? How can God trust us with the big things if he cannot even trust us to submit to the process it takes to get us to our destiny?

We must endure. The bible tells us that life is not always easy. Enduring is a part of this life. So often that beautiful blue print that God has designed and designated just for us, we jack up because we want to jump ahead of the game and pass the square of enduring and try to get to the winning square early. What we miss so often though is that we get to the winning square early and sometimes pain free, but we are not equipped to handle what all is there for us and that creates a greater tragedy. When I watched this movie, I saw something: God is our adjustment bureau, his angels and the Holy Spirit follow us throughout our lives holding the book of life throwing out road blocks, opening doors, shutting doors, and creating detours just to get us and keep us on the road that we need to be on to fulfill our God ordained destiny. Enduring breeds character! Enduring allots for testimony! A testimony breeds ministry and influence! When we let God crush us or drive us through the back roads in the seasons where He needs to, we run instead of staying. God foreknew that we would be in the seasons of enduring, hurt, pain, and chaos that we walk through in our lives, but he also knew their purpose. God has a divine purpose for every bit of hell surrounding us, to work it all together for our good, to breed character, strength, preparation, and testimony, and most importantly to bring him glory. I see it in terms of taking a college course. When we start a class at the beginning of the semester we receive a syllabus telling us the class expectations and requirements. It outlines the ground that we are going to cover and tells us that we will have a final assessment or series of them. We know from the beginning that for 13-15 weeks we must attend this class but that the attendance and lectures are what we must endure and learn from in order to master and successfully complete the final assessment(s). The 13-15 weeks are representative in this analogy of our enduring season. We don’t know what we are going to learn as we are not familiar with the course because we have never taken it before (in some cases LOL), but we know that there will be a test or two and that we must take in all we can and make the most of each meeting time to soak in all of the information that we can. The assessments and final projects are representative of Gods transition process for us; the transition from the enduring to the blessing and influence. If we have endured diligently and really soaked in the past 13-15 weeks of listening, studying, and learning, then the assessment is easy. But, when we have skipped some classes, attended class without doing all of our reading, or winged our way through the discussions, the assessment is ALWAYS nearly impossible to master at our full potential. I have been a student for a good portion of my life and I can honestly say that the times I did not take full advantage of my times of enduring, my class time, I was never as successful as I could have been on my final assessments. I may have passed them or barely made it, but it was never my absolute best. When I truly needed that information that I breezed through or bypassed later in my career, I had to go back and learn over again, even though I had already entered into my career. Had I done what I needed to do when I was supposed to be enduring and learning, I would not have had to waste time going backward. Enduring births God's absolute best in us and through us. I want to be able to walk in my God given destiny with every testimony that heaven says that I am supposed to have. I don’t want to bypass God’s process because if he is taking the time to take me through it then there must be something that I need to get out of the trip. Let God do what he needs to do in you and in your life to get you to where he wants to take you. Bishop T.D. Jakes said once, don’t let life change you. I just love this sermon of his because it is a reminder that life can cause us to want to change things, to get off of the path; But we have to remember we are here for a minute and we have a job to do. Enduring has curve balls and can hurt at times, but we cannot let life change us. Let the Kingdom Adjustment Bureau, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, do what he needs to do to get us to where he needs us to be; to do the things that he needs us to do.

Until next time,

Just Be

2011-03-08T19:54:00.000-08:00

I was channel surfing tonight and I heard Joyce Meyer say one of the coolest things ever! She said:

Stop doing different dances for different people...being one way to make one person like you and another to make another like you! What you see is what you get! Lord, maybe they'll like me, maybe they won't but who cares because I can't please everybody...but I will always seek to please you...

It is so easy to get caught up in the performance trap! If I act a certain way then they will like me. If I dress a certain way then they might like me. If I talk or say certain things then they will approve of me. If I meet a certain standard then they will accept me. Any of these sound familiar? These types of things are traps that the enemy sets out for us that ultimately keep us distracted from God and from the things that He has for us. Such things keep our focus on man's standards of living and not on God's. These things stand in the way of us fulfilling our great destinies and callings to their full potential. When we are striving to receive approval of others and to be accepted by everybody else, we lose sight of God and it becomes about us. When it becomes about us and not Him, we deny ourselves the opportunity of wading in his great mercy and grace and of living out of our full and complete God given purpose and destiny. Striving to receive man's approval and acceptance all the time keeps us in a tail chasing, downward spiral simply because we will never please man. We strive so hard to dance one dance for this person and to dance another dance to please the next person or we change who we are to fit accordingly so much so that we can find ourselves not operating in God's mandate and charge for us here on earth: To know and follow hard after Him. If we are distracted with what standards we are meeting or not meeting, you cant possibly be fully operating in a mindset where he is center focus. Whether or not you meet your standards or someone else's, God still loves you and desires you. He simply asks us to know and love and to follow after Him.

We are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, the King's kids and because we are justified and accepted as we are in Christ, that is all we need. It is of course inherent in us to want others to be pleased with us, but it should not be to the point where being approved and accepted are the driving forces behind our functioning. Simply because you are chosen and a child of the Most High, naturally there is a unique aura that radiates from you that others will be drawn too. But, just as Jesus did not have 99% of the crowd in his court, we must understand that sometimes it can be like that for us and naturally in many cases it will be simply because we are His children. And THAT'S OK!! I think Joyce Meyer put it best tonight:

Some people like me, some dont, but because I dont strive to please man, but God instead, I dont lose sleep over that! Its about God.

Stop striving to please man and focus on striving to please God. If we spent just half of the time that we spend on the prepping and rehearsing that we do to gain the approval and acceptance of human company on prepping and pursuing after Jesus, we would be in business! Although God doesnt require us to rehearse or prep anything, the time and energy that we focus on seeking man's approval and attention should be spent on seeking the Father. Because with him, there are no hoops to jump through, there is no judging, no fear of failure, just simply being whom he has called you to be, dents, dings, and all. :) We are free to be just us! Let's be those people where what you see is what you get! No smoke and mirrors, no varying facades, no shows, just you! Let who Christ has made you to be, be the only you that there is. Facades are exhausting! Just be you! Liberate yourself and close the doors of the enemy that tell you that you have to hide something or be a certain way for certain people to like you. Focus that energy on letting the Lord develop an unbridled and unhindered worship and confidence in you to simply be who he has called you to be. Every flaw and every great feature God has there for a reason. We can go on living for years and years behind a mask, operating in front of our family, coworkers, church family, etc. a certain way, but at the end of the day's performance going home to remove the makeup and facade. Why not take off the mask and makeup once and for all? God doesnt ask us to wear a mask so why do we wear one for mere man? Remember this, realness and transparency leave the greatest mark in the lives of those who dont believe. When others see us walk out the Christian life with authenticity and meekness, they are deeply touched because they see the extension of God's mercy and grace to us. God loves you just the way you are! It's time to be free!

Let's pray:
Father I pray for every woman and every man reading this tonight that you will break the chains of the performance holt from them in Jesus' name. Father let them know that you love them just because and that you accept them just the way they are. Let them know Lord that your love endures forever. Father let them know that every flaw and every feature make them no more or less appealing to you, but that you see them as accepted and as your child. I pray tonight that chains would fall off of any indiviual reading this who has felt bound by performance and acceptance, and that they would be liberated in the name of Jesus! Let them operate and walk in a new found confidence and peace, knowing that you love and accept them just the way they are. And because we are your children, we dont have to strive to receive any accpetance or approval from man. I love you Lord, and I bless you! In your name I pray, Amen.

Until next time,

The Importance of Accountability

2011-02-09T08:28:00.000-08:00

I love the quote that says, behind every good man is a great woman, or if you like it better the other way, behind every good woman is a great man, either way the statement is absolutely true. When God created Adam in the garden, we of course know soon after he created Eve, his great helper and accountability. Now you can get all technical and say that she failed as his accountability because she listened to the serpent, but I am going to shut the mouth of the enemy on that one and say that Adam heard God's instructions about the tree, the bible emphasizes that he was RIGHT there when the serpent spoke to Eve (not in the woods gathering wood or anything LOL), and He as the man should have spoken up to the enemy in that moment...haha! But that is another message for another day, let's get back to accountability. Behind every great man and woman of God, there are great men and women who serve as their accountability or their helpmates. Whether it be a spouse, pastor, elder, friend, or mentor, we must surround ourselves with great Godly back up at all times.

I always think of police when I am thinking of the phrase "back up". When they arrive at tough situations they immediately are required to call for back up. They call their fellow officers to come and stand with them and fight with them in those tough times. In our lives as men and women of God it is exactly the same thing; we must have back up at all time. Yes the Lord is our back up of course, but we need Godly back up in our sphere in the natural as well. No man or woman of God should be walking their journey alone with no accountability or back up. God has surrounded us with mighty men and women of God in our churches, families, lifeteams, small groups, and just through relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ with the sole purpose of them to be there to fight with us, to pray with us, to walk with us, to be the wisdom when we cannot hear, or the instructor when we need that extra tutoring. Take advantage of the Godly influence around you, because I have found in my own life that I would not be who God has and continued to cultivate me into if it were not for my pastors, my elders, my mentors, and my awesome Godly sisters and brothers that are just a phone call away who will pray and war with me.

Sometimes the enemy can distort our view of the importance and purpose of these great Godly influences God has placed in our lives in two ways: Trust issues and fear of exposure. We commonly label the first distortion of trust issues as I dont want people in my business, but let me tell you that is a tactic straight from the enemy. When you seek God about your counsel and you ask him to surround you with great Godly influence appropriate for you, He is going to surround you with brothers and sisters and men and women who will pour into your life specifically for what He needs them to. God is not going to pair you up with a busy body who is going to spread your business around the church, but instead with a brother or sister that will go to the throne room with you in prayer in those tough times or those times when you need clarity or simply agreement on something. The enemy cleverly masks trust issues with that lie of 'I dont want people in my business', and we must recognize it. How do I know this? I walked it out in my own life for too long. When I recognized it, I realized that I was fearful of thoroughly seeking accountability because I was afraid that someone would tell the desires and secrets of my heart and I didnt want to be exposed. Not that I had anything great and mysterious to be exposed, I just didnt want others knowing all of my "business". What I quickly realized by help of my friend the Holy Spirit is that when I put up walls and did not fully accept accountability around me, I missed out on my prayer help. I was removing blessing from my situations. I could have received double blessing from their prayers and mine, but I was doing it all on my own. Dont get me wrong, I know that I can pray! But there is something so powerful about knowing that you are not going to the throne room alone all the time, that in addition to ourselves and our friend the Holy Spirit, there are others warring with us.

The second way that the enemy plays on our fears is through exposure and shame. He creates a fear in us of being exposed because we are afraid of being rejected or belittled. God's love for you is not contigent upon your behavior or failures. God's love for you is constant and never ending. God's love for us NEVER CHANGES. God loves you and you are forgiven and loved. As you begin to seek the Lord more, you will become more like Him, thus terminating your desire and willingness to sin. Repentance and confession disable the enemy from breeding shame in our lives. When we are exposed, we are then blessed because God can then move in and weed out the root. When someone else is praying with you through whatever your struggle or hang up may be, you are twice as quickly going to overcome it. God given accountability will not judge you or belittle you, but instead they will strive to see you for what you can become and not what you are right now, just as Christ sees us. Shame is from the pit of hell. Conviction is straight from heaven. Strive to change it, not suppress and hide it. Godly accountability allows for conviction, not guilt and shame. Godly accountability can help us recognize areas of struggle and change them, rather than keep us bound by suppressing them.

Accountability and mentorship breed character. God places people in your lives that most of the time have walked through what it is that you are walking through. Utilize your God given sources people! God wants to relieve anxiety and stress for us and provide wisdom for us by way of his other sons and daughters to help us through the situations and hangups that we face in this thing called life. You have no reason to fear exposure because God already knows. Your security and confidence should come from that alone, knowing that you are already forgiven and loved by the Most High. Accountability keeps you on your toes. I absolutely LOVE my sisters and my elders and mentors that hold me accountable. God gives them different ways of seeing things and it is so refreshing when sometimes the very thing that God wants me to hear, he will speak through some of them. Again, I am not emphasizing self doubt on what the Lord speaks to us personally because myself as I know many of you readers HEAR FROM THE LORD. I have a new little saying that I have pinned on myself that I want you to pin on yourself if it applies:

I may not hear everything, but I know my daddy's voice when he speaks!

I love it when babies are very young and they cannot talk or see very good yet, but man when you hold them and they recognize that mom or dad has come into the room or spoken their name, their whole little countenance changes and you can see it on their face and feel it in their little bodies. They know their mommy's or daddy's voices! We must recognize His voice in that same way, but also recognize that he provides spokespeople within reach for us that he wants us to listen to.

So I encourage you ladies and gentleman, if you dont already have it, pray and ask God to bring Godly accountability into your lives. You cannot become all that God has called you to be if you are still hanging out and receiving your mentorship or accountability from someone who is struggling with the same things that you are or who are not walking the same path as you. It is easy to strive to please our flesh by seeking accountability that tell us what we want to hear all the time. That is not breeding Christ like character, but instead keeping you stuck in the same rut you have been in and stunting your growth. True discipleship is not always a comfortable thing, but without fail it is always something that forces a new character to arise out of us.

One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 27:17 and it says this:

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Accountability sharpens your sword, as should you sharpen theirs in the same way. Something to think about, huh?...

Until next time,

WOW and Thank you!

2011-02-04T08:56:00.000-08:00

Greeting sweet friends!

I am stunned right now and absolutely overwhelmed. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this little blog spot would be reaching people in different nations. I want to report that Confessions of a Ragamuffin is tuned in by hundreds of people spanning over nine different nations not including the United States. PRAISE GOD!! I am absolutely speechless and so blessed that God's word is reaching brothers and sisters all over the world. Thank you for reading and for letting these words that the Lord has put in my heart minister to each of you somehow.

This year I have decided to include some video blogs and maybe even do a book club thing where you all can tune in with me and we can read and blog about a new book maybe every quarter or so. There are lots of neat ideas brewing and as they come you guys will see them. My desire is to really come to you all in a more personal way this year and to let the Lord take this blog and this writing wherever he plans to. Again, thank you for taking the time to read and tune in. What a blessing :)

Until next time,

Same Script, Different Cast

2011-01-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

God's will is something you choose to want, not something you just get or happen to fall into. Our lives are like big theatrical productions, the purpose of them to give God glory and to fulfill His will. God has a goal and a purpose in mind for each of our lives. He has a plan in heaven aka a destiny that we must fulfill and we are the cast that he selects for the parts. But whether or not we choose to be a part of the cast or if we miss dress rehersal or the big production night, the show will still go on. The greatest tragedy is when we miss out on his will and arrive at the theater late when everyone is gone home. With God, the show must go on. He may change the cast in our lives a little bit, but at the end of the day the show will always go on as he had planned, in order for His glory to come forth and His will to be fulfilled.

Until next time,

The Tragedy of Vanity and Insecurity: The Healing or Lack Thereof of Naaman

2011-01-17T10:00:00.000-08:00

Vanity, Insecurity, Confidence, Beauty, and the Kingdom of God
Pt 1: The Tragedy of Vanity and Insecurity
2 Kings 5: The Healing or Lack thereof of Naaman

I am a word person. I love vocabulary, words, diction, speech, and all of the intricate and interesting meanings behind them. As the Lord laid this upon my heart to begin writing, I did what I always do and I went to the dictionary to look up the meanings of the words in which this series of writings would be focused on: vanity, beauty, confidence, and insecurity. Yes of course I knew what these words meant, but I knew there had to be more behind the surface denotations. So, in looking up the meanings of these words, this is what I found:

Vanity: excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, and abilities; vain; lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness; showcase

Synonymous with: complacency, emptiness, triviality, and futility

Insecurity: liable to give way; not firm; lacking confidence; not sure of oneself or true worth; fearful

Synonymous with: anxiety, timidity, uncertainty

Vanity and Insecurity: A New Plague

Value; the dictionary defines it simply as real worth. Interestingly, one of the definitions that I found most intriguing when I looked up the word vanity was lacking of real value and worthlessness. Vanity is not always regarded as negative, but is usually synonymous with an overabundance of confidence. Unfortunately, vanity is the exact opposite. Vanity takes root I believe when we come into agreement with the lies of the enemy and the lies of the world. When people are looked upon as vain, they appear to typically be “very” assured of themselves. But, I see it as the condition of being very assured of others’ perceptions of oneself. Vain people are not confident people, and they often times survive from the food of others perceptions of them, whether positive or negative. When that food runs out, they find themselves broken, distorted, and starving for worth. Vanity is valueless living and this is of the enemy, not of God. Insecurity is not too far up the road from vanity; the go hand in hand. One of the most interesting words used to describe insecurity is uncertainty. When we walk in insecurity we are uncertain I believe not only in whatever it is that we are insecure in, but we are also uncertain in our Source.

God has called us as men and women of God to be the exact opposite of the definition of vanity and insecurity, to have real value and worth and certainty and confidence and Him. Our value and worth come from Christ alone. So, when we as Christians are obsessed with vanity or fall in the pit of insecurity, we don’t truly understand that our value and worth come solely from Christ. We are still searching in the deep pits to gain our worth and value from the world’s standards.

I want to go to a story in 2 Kings Chapter 5 about the healing of the great Aramaic army commander, Naaman. For the past several weeks, I have read and re-read this story and the Lord has shown me some very powerful and symbolic things about it regarding our confidence as Kingdom men and women. The name Naaman comes from the Hebrew word Naem, which means delightful, pleasant, and beautiful. Naaman’s name literally meant beauty, yet he lived his life so caught up in the chains of vanity, image, and insecurity that he never got to live out the true meaning of what God named him to be even after God brought him through so much. Tragically, his name became a reproach and a direct contrast to who he would become. Naaman missed living a life that He was called to, one in which his satisfaction, worth, and confidence were to come from the Lord, and instead wasted years trying to fit in a societal image and hiding behind insecurity masked as vanity that nearly cost him his life.

The story begins in verse 1 talking of Naaman’s great skill and ability. 2 Kings 5:1 says this:

The King of Aram had great admiration for Naaman, the commander of his army, because through him the Lord had given Aram great victories. But though Naaman was a mighty warrior, he suffered from Leprosy.

Naaman was afflicted with leprosy. If you are unfamiliar with the severity of leprosy, typically lepers were outcast from society and were not able to function among the community. Naaman was able to function among his society, thus letting us know that he was not afflicted with a case as harsh as most lepers. Luke 4:27 says something that I have always found to be very interesting about Naaman’s condition. It says:

There were many lepers in Israel in the time of the prophet Elisha, but the only one healed was Naaman, a Syrian.

I want you to really ponder that scripture for a second and keep it in the back of your mind, as we will come back to it in just a minute. I believe that the leprosy was symbolic of God’s red flag to Naaman; it was the Lord’s way of bringing him to the place of understanding who he was truly called to be. And because it was not a lethal case of leprosy in which he would have been outcast from society, I believe it shows how bad God’s love was for Naaman. God wanted so bad for Naaman to change his mindset from one of insecurity to confidence because he had great things set out for Naaman’s calling and destiny. He was so plagued by vanity and insecurity and trying to fit the mold of the world that he never would have known his potential to walk in Kingdom greatness had the Lord not afflicted him. Luke 4:27 serves as confirmation that there was something truly special on Naaman’s life, that he had been the only leper healed in Israel, not just in the town or in his neighborhood I want to point out, in the time of the prophet Elisha. That is HUGE!! Naaman was oblivious to the fact that he was chosen and set apart from the beginning, yet because he did not understand his source, he never fully got to walk out his full God given potential. Now it can be argued that Naaman wouldn’t have fully understood God as his Source because he came from a polytheistic culture that worshipped other Gods. But, in verse 1 it says that his king even acknowledged that the Lord had given their army great victories through Naaman’s gifting as commander; thus leading me to believe that Naaman knew or had at least heard of the one and only true God and His power. I am going to go so far to say that if he didn’t know about God’s power or believe, why would he have taken the little servant girl’s advice to go to the prophet, the Man of God, Elisha to be healed? Naaman knew of God’s power. Even if you say he really didn’t know at first, he sure did by the end of the story because he had seen God’s power and sadly still didn’t chose God. Naaman was caught up in the triviality of material things, selfishness, insecurity, and arrogance that he did not understand what had been inherently placed inside of him- Kingdom greatness.

How often do we as children of God miss the mark just as Naaman did? We know that God is great and we have seen his hand at work time and time again in our lives, yet we miss the part where we are to understand that because Christ lives in us and we are his children, there is inherent greatness in us. We let the things of this world disable our confidence such as insecurity, the media or other’s expectations of us, or one the other end become arrogant and vain and take excessive pride in the gifts and talents that he has instilled within us, and we begin to operate and live very self driven, average lives and miss out on walking out his perfect will. We can become so bogged down by insecurity that we play it small for years so much so that we don’t allow Him to shape us to be able to fully and confidently walk out his plan for our lives. Who cares about your past or mistakes or struggles you once made, is that not what grace is given to us for? We are so worried with what others will think of us and getting the world’s approval that we miss the opportunity to exercise the true Kingdom greatness that God has put in each of us. God had greater things planned for Naaman I believe, but he was so worried about not rocking the boat in his culture or being unaccepted by his peers, that he ultimately chose to live out his plan and not God’s. Mediocrity is the result of electing to operate outside of or not to the full potential of God’s plan for our lives. Greatness is what he makes us when we choose to operate our gifts and our entire lives according to his plan.

Naaman offers the prophet Elisha gifts, insignificant things, to attain his healing. He wanted to exchange with God the way in which he exchanged or bargained with the world. His confidence lied in things and not in God. If he had his eye truly focused on God and in what he knew of God’s healing power, if his confidence lied in the Source, he would have understood that he only needed to come expecting and believing, and empty handed. I love how the scriptures describe Elisha’s response to Naaman bringing gifts- he didn’t even acknowledge them. In verses 9-10, the scriptures say that Elisha did not formally recognize or even acknowledge Naaman either, he sent a messenger out to give him the instructions that God had told him to give Naaman for his healing. Elisha served as God’s hands and feet, provided per God the instructions required to attain healing, and confidently walked away. Elisha was confident in his source. He did not need anyone to tell him anything regarding God’s power and ability because he had seen it and was completely confident in it. After Elisha gives him instructions, the Bible says in verses 11-13, that he argued against Elisha’s instructions. Naaman was more focused on status and what others would think of his source of healing, the river in which he was to receive his healing, rather than on just receiving healing no matter the cost. Insecurity, pride, and vanity almost cost Naaman his healing- heaven forbid people would find out that he was healed in the Jordan instead of one of the more reputable rivers such as those in Damascus? Naaman did not get it. We see Naaman’s insecurity blatantly in this segment when he feels he needs to bring gifts to receive acknowledgement and healing and when he is more focused on the reputation of a river than on his actual need for healing.

Just like Naaman, we try to bring things to God in exchange for healing or elevation, but God does not work that way. All he asks us to do is to walk in his grace, to accept His will for our lives, to love Him and His people, and believe in Him. When we simply focus living our lives for Him, we have no other choice than to completely trust and believe in him. We become completely confident in our one and only Source. On the other hand, how often are we focused more on what others will think than on just receiving God’s provision or call to us to come to a place of humility? As a woman of God, I think two of the most attractive qualities above all else in a man of God is humility and blind trust in God. For a man of God to completely trust God, to admit he doesn’t always have the right answers, to walk in full confidence in his father’s plan and will for his life, even if he cannot see the whole picture or when it isn’t the most popular thing to do, to trust God no matter what, can have my hand in marriage any day. Confidence in God alone breeds Kingdom greatness in us as men and women of God. Falling in the trap of insecurity and focusing on looking a certain way only allots for average living. God healed Naaman so that he could walk out his true calling and greatness, but tragically Naaman missed it. Although he acknowledges God’s greatness in verse 15 when he says, now I know that there is no God in all the world except in Israel, sadly he still didn’t get it. The greatest tragedy of the story happens in the last few scriptures of the chapter. After Naaman is healed, simply because God loved him enough to do it for him, he still offers the Man of God Elisha petty things as a gift or exchange for the healing he received. It’s like he understood God’s greatness, but he didn’t believe God loved him enough to do it for him. He held God to worldly standards. Of course Elisha denies the gifts again, and as he is preparing to leave, Naaman tells him that he will pray to God alone, but in so many words he says next that he will still have to kneel in reverence to, out of fear of rejection and insecurity, the god of Rimmon, a Syrian god, to please his people. This showed that Naaman, after EVERYTHING, is not secure enough in his Source to stand up for Him and trust that God would protect him no matter what. He asks the Lord to pardon him for that…FAIL! At that point, I believe that showed that Naaman, after all he had been through, was still plagued by insecurity, vanity, and image. He had seen God’s power, yet he wasn’t ready to risk putting his entire confidence in the true Source. He wanted to be acceptable by his peers more than he wanted God. Christ’s way is more often times not, not the popular way to go. But, when his will becomes priority and when you come to realize that anything he leads you to will become greatness because of who he is in you, what is “popular” doesn’t matter anymore, but instead His glory matters most. Although it could have been a tough fight for Naaman, the question I believe boiled down to this: for the sake of God, what are was Naaman willing to risk? Where was his confidence rooted, in circumstance or source? In preparing this over the past couple of weeks, I asked the Lord about this part in particular and this is what I got. My argument was that yes, maybe it would have been considered betrayal and disrespect to his king and to his people that could have gotten him killed, but in the same light didn’t Naaman trust God enough to know that he would always protect him?

The Lord spoke to me and explained it to me in that very phrase I stated above:

Although it could have been a tough fight, the question boils down to this: for the sake of God, what are you willing to risk? Where is your confidence rooted, in circumstance or source?

No matter the consequence or the risk of being looked down upon by the world around him, Naaman had seen God’s power and had been miraculously healed by Him, yet his confidence was not rooted in the Father. He was more worried about looking good to others that he ignored his call to walk in true Kingdom greatness. The Bible says that Elisha’s only response to Naaman at this point was one of great ambiguity. Elisha tells him to go in peace. I believe Elisha was aghast and so taken back by the fact that insecurity, after all of the manifestations of God’s power and favor released right before Naaman’s eyes, still had Naaman’s heart bound. What else was there for Elisha to say? Naaman knew the Source, he just couldn’t fully accept Him. Elisha could not make Naaman trust God; it was a choice that Naaman had to make. Naaman chose to continue to live to look good to the world rather than the Lord. God healed Naaman of his leprosy to use Him, not so that he could go about and do his own thing and give him glory occasionally. It is the same way with us. God took us out of our leprosy, out of the things and mindsets of the world, so that he could use us for his glory; so that we too would walk out our inherent Kingdom greatness.

We don’t hear much else about Naaman anywhere else in scripture after this, but it makes you wonder what ever happened to him. I assume that Naaman went on living an average life with many worldly accolades I am sure, but never the Kingdom merit in which he was designed to. Whatever God has called you to be, let Him do it. Don’t shy away from being the man or woman of God that he has called you to be because of fear of looking a certain way, or rocking the boat, or being unpopular. Instead, let his healing in your life be your light that will lead others out of the darkness and into his marvelous light. One of my favorite quotes I have ever heard was one by the great journalist Erma Bombeck, and it says this:

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

This short life and every talent, gift, and treasure we have here on earth should only be about bringing glory to Him. Confidently believe and walk out the fact that he made you into and has called you to be exactly who you are and to do exactly what He has equipped you to do. Remember, mediocrity is the result of electing to operate outside of or not to the full potential of God’s plan for our lives. Greatness is what he makes us when we choose to operate our gifts and our entire lives according to his plan.

Until next time,

The Invasion of the Heart

2011-01-15T01:34:00.000-08:00

Its 3:35 AM and what I thought would be a simple roll over turned into a wake up and nudge from the Lord to write. Honestly I was like, "Really, Lord at 3 something in the morning?" haha but I guess anytime and anywhere, huh? So, here I am with a cup of peppermint tea, wrapped up in a blanket, ready to write. Here we go.

Something happens when we let God invade our heart. There is a difference between God simply being in our heart and letting God invade our hearts. When an invasion happens, all things not Him are driven out. Whether they be ambitions, dreams, visions, unnecessary distractions, they are invaded upon by God's Holy Spirit and no longer have a place there. Invasion is something we can opt to have. You know how when you are signing up for certain gadgets and/or programs and they have protection programs or special extras as options; you can have it or you can opt out. Having an invasion of the heart works this very same way, you can sign up for it or you can opt out.

I think when God invades our hearts it looks very different from Him just being there in that we have to make room for invasion and allow it to happen. I think about this in terms of war invasions. When invasions were set up, they were designed with the intentions of conquer or incursion. When we allow God to invade our hearts, there is only room to allow Him to take control. When we just let Him in our hearts, there is that option to opt out. It is almost as if we allow the option for Him to take control, but we still have 30 days to change our minds and opt out.

As his children we must come to the place of willingly allowing for the invasion of the heart- To let the Lord take over how he wants, when he wants, and however he wants. Nothing you could ever desire or want from life could be more than he is able to give to you. I made a mess out of my life for many years when I tried to control things. A big mess. Occasionally, I become perplexed as to how he has managed to unravel the mess that I'd made. But, I guess that's where grace and mercy come in. I dont have it all figured out, but I can promise you that allowing for the invasion in my heart and in my life has been worth the extra cost. Something happens when we let him invade. Our visions become his visions, our dreams become his dreams, and our passions become his passions. Invasion allows for a blanket of peace to hover over us at all times; it provides clarity and wisdom. Invasion of the heart allows for our hearts to be on heaven's frequency. We begin to live as heaven has planned for us because the programming and wiring between heaven and our hearts becomes synchronized and the two merge and become one channel.

I once had a blue print and plan and had it all figured out. I knew what I wanted and prayed God would fit into it somehow. Backwards planning I guess?? haha! Well, I was deep thinking the other day and I realized that I dont have a plan anymore. I have dreams and visions and I confidently walk with the belief and confidence that they are those deposited straight from heaven. Will he fulfill the desires, dreams, and visions of my heart? No doubt! Why? Because when he invades, your heart becomes his heart, thus making it impossible for him to ignore or choose not to fulfill those things in which your heart desires. The enemy's most clever way of getting in the way of God's invasion is by trying to make us believe that we are missing out on something if we let God totally invade our hearts and our lives. But, the truth is we miss out on something when we dont let Him invade our hearts.

I picture it like this: we are standing before the Father and He is holding two maps. You look at one and you recognize mostly everything on it. It is your life and all of its happenings from beginning to end. You then look at the other one and some of it is the same- the birth info, schooling, church, but you see some differences, such as the wrong employer, your spouse's name was incorrect, it says you pastored a great church, but that must be a mistake because you just chose to lead His sheep in a small group for 20 years.Well....hmmm then it starts to look right again... almost.. but the ending is wrong: the one that "matched" your life has a list of unfinished tasks...you don't recognize those things though...hmmm kinda makes you nervous. Then, you look even more closely and you notice something. You notice several fork like images. You notice big decisions and opportunities over the years that you had and you see the path you chose on one side of the fork and then something else you dont recognize on the other fork. So, you follow with your finger the prong on the fork that you recognize and sure enough it all matches with your life. But when you look at the other prong of that fork, you follow it with your finger and you notice that it would have taken you down some back roads and in some cases all around the map, but it would have gotten you to the same place...wait! There is the job I really wanted, the ministry dream I wrote off because the "timing was off", and the relatiohship that I ended up canning because I didnt think it would ever work out. You step back and turn your attention to the other map and you notice something different about that one, there are no forks; just one ways. The map is so simple and it has so many amazing things on it; things you recognize, things you always wanted. The things that you remembered but that you thought just werent God's plan because they didnt fit in to what you thought they should look like or how you had planned for them to come about. But, the thing that catches your eye the most is the ending. On this map, there is no list, just one simple phrase: Well done good and faithful servant. Assignment complete.

Until next time,

Lifehouse - Breathing (Official Music Video)

2011-01-12T20:42:00.000-08:00

The Triviality of It All

2011-01-12T19:13:00.000-08:00

I love words. I love word meanings, both denotations and connotations, big and small. Words are very special to me in that they are keys to understanding so much, yet we overlook the depth of them so often. We so callously use them, but what we dont see is the beauty and power behind so many of them. One of my favorite things is my dictionary, as I am a confessed nerd haha! When I write, I usually pick it up and bring it to my desk with me simply because I love to look up the deeper meaning of words. The Holy Spirit has reminded of the word Trivial for the past few weeks. When I find myself thinking about things going on or when I catch myself worrying about something, the Holy Spirit has reminded me of the triviality of everything.Trivial means insignifcant or not important. The dictionary also adds that it is something not new or interesting, something ordinary. Everything in this world before us other than God is just that: insignificant, of little importance, not new or interesting, and ordinary. Everything in this world is trivial compared to knowing Him.

What I am finding out recently in my own life is the reality of the triviality of it all. The Lord has changed my thinking to be that everything in this world is trivial compared to the greatness of knowing Him. One of the greatest treasures that I have rediscovered is a new intimacy with my Father. I cant explain it, but its like a rekindled love. Something happens when you take on the mindset that nothing else matters but Him, when you grasp that it is ALL about Him and His glory. I believe that it is only when this happens that He can make the most out of our lives, and when we become equipped to do the most for the Kingdom of God, and the place in which we become closestly aligned to His perfect will for our lives. I grew up Baptist and remember hearing my sweet little old fashioned preacher always tell us that God is a jealous God. Ignorantly, back then I understood it to be almost a disturbung revelation, but now when I really think about it, it is almost comforting and reassuring in a sense. When the triviality of this world and the things in it supercede God in our lives, we will never live up to our full potential in Christ because our focus is not completely on Him; thus only alotting for us the option of mediocre living, which is not what God intended. The trivial things of this world are a mask of the enemy because anything he can use to distract us from God, he will use. We must recognize these things in our lives and restructure. God is jealous for us because He put us here to have relationship with Him and for our lives to bring Him glory. God is jealous when we give trivial things the position that he is supposed to have in our lives. Why? Because He gave us life and everything in it. He wants us to desire Him and He wants our hearts. It is comforting to know that our God wants us that bad that He is jealous for us, to know that He wants nothing more than to have our hearts and to know us and for us to know Him. He doesnt want anything else to have our hearts except for Him.

One of the things I have grown the fondest of lately more than anything else is chatting with the Lord more. No formal lingo, no King James language, just chatting with him and telling him what's going on and how I feel. I have many amazing friends and mentors here in the natural and they are all such great blessings to me in such special ways, but there is something in Him that I find in no one else. I believe that He has programmed us that way, to feel incomplete in every other source except for Him. I have found now that as I have laid down everything before Him and decided to take on a new outlook on my life and let Him really be my shepherd, my heart longs to talk to Him now more than it ever has before because I want to know Him more and I know He has every answer to every question, every bit of advice or direction I could ever need. Everything in my day and all around me has beccome trivial and insignificant to me, where they should have been a long time ago. I am speaking from experience now when I make this bold statement:

Life happens when you lay it all down. Life happens when you realize nothing else matters but Him.

I have began to see God move in crazy incredible ways in my life now that He has truly become first. I was getting in the way of my own blessings because I was seeing things through the trivial spectrum of circumstances and the things around me. But, when you put on the lense of God, you dont necessarily always see things perfectly clear right away, but soon your eyes adjust and things become unobstructed in your life.

One of the most beautiful lines from one of my favorite songs called "Breathing" by Lifehouse is:

I am hanging on every word you say, and even if you dont want to speak tonight, its alright, alright with me; cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door and listen to you breathe because that's where I want to be.

When I listen to that song it always makes my heart smile. Everything is insignificant compared to knowing Him. Never let anything in this world get in the way of you and Him. We should be clearing out our schedules to do just as that song says, to listen to and hang on to His every word if he speaks, and if he chooses not to, to just listen to him breathe. It is so easy to go before God rambling, as I was the queen of this, but the Holy Spirit with this whole talk of triviality has taught me to just let Him speak. We dont have to give God a run down of the latest sagas in our lives, remember trivial means not new or important- none of it is new to God and neither is it important to Him. His greatest focus is on us, His children, and bringing forth His glory. If he brought you to it, He will always bring you through it. Instead of talking His ear off with the rundown of the trivial things, ask him one question: What do you want to say, Lord? Let me tell you people, something happens when you turn your focus on Him and when you come to realize that nothing really matters in this world but Him. The things that once seemed so big become small, and what has been so small, often times our intimacy and relationship with Him, becomes so big. Consider it like this: The trivial things surrounding us probably wont matter next year, will have no significance in five years, and will be forgotten in ten years...so why give them significance now?

Until next time, I am going to leave you with a video of that song I mentioned earlier....enjoy :)

An Unwritten, yet Essential Fruit of the Spirit: Confidence

2011-01-07T22:21:00.000-08:00

For several months now the Lord has been brewing in my spirit the topic of confidence. I say this humbly, but one of the compliments I receive frequently is that I am a very confident woman. I never really realized I guess that this was such a visible attribute, but apparently so. So, as I heard that time and time again, I began to really ponder what confidence was and the things that I had been taught about it over the years; and then I began to think about it in terms of the Kingdom. Where does confidence come from? As I contemplated this, I could only relay its origin to one thing: Having security in your source. What I mean by that is I believe confidence can only come from having complete security in your source, Jesus. When you know and fully accept who He says you are in Him, nothing other than confidence can sprout from that ground.I remember as a little girl watching and listening to my amazing mother, as she was and still is a woman with an unshakable confidence, tell me all the time to always know that I was a child of God and to always hold my head high and be confident in who He made me to be. There was something so special to me about that because I saw my mom walk out confidence and as a result of her always reminding me of my Source, I have rarely ever questioned who He made me to be and have accepted the woman He has created me to be. My mama has a saying that I find myself sharing with my students and others all the time: If you don't have confidence in yourself, then no one else will. I believe this quote is so true and I believe God's saying to us is similar: If we don't have confidence in our Source, Him, then no one else will. Others' destinies are depending on our follow through and obedience to His will, and most of all on our confidence to be and do what He has called us to.

It would be easy to say that as children of God we should inherently be confident in ourselves because we are His great creations, right? Unfortunately, in most cases this is not even close to being accurate. From early on, we are force fed the harsh media and the world’s standards of what denotes beauty, and the emphatic feeding of it into our minds and perceptions haunts us for years to follow. We can be born again, on fire for God, “knowing” who we are in Christ, while at the same time finding it difficult to accept who He has created us to be. The world instills a detrimental and lethal discontentment within us from early on that we unknowingly revive time and time again because we decide to accept the lies of the enemy over God’s truth about who we are designed to be. No matter what the world’s standards may be, who are we to believe anything other than that which flows from the mouth of the Father. Men and women of God are set apart in that simply because they are children of the King, beauty naturally radiates both on the inside and the outside. Simply because of who our daddy is, we should walk in an unshakable confidence knowing that He specially designed each of us the way we are and He designed us to look, act, think, and breathe just the way we do. I believe with all of my heart that we as men and women of God have a kingdom mandate to be the most confident people on this planet. The lies of the enemy can no longer hold us back when we truly understand and accept that our value comes from above and is based on more than what the eyes can see. The bible says that we are set apart, and indeed we are. When we lack confidence in who we are as men and women of God, we are playing God. We are telling God that He settled for less than His best and that He did not create His best.

Although this may sound harsh or dramatic, this is what the Lord has spoken to me about the reality of the tragedy of insecurity and the world’s lies plaguing our men and women in the church. We are struggling with things like vanity, insecurity, jealousy, and envy, when we are created to be walking displays of the exact opposites of all of those: confidence, beauty, never having envy, and surely never being jealous of one another. God did not make a mistake or even one flaw even when He created you; He made you perfect and just the way that He wanted you. You are beautiful and handsome in His eyes, but when are you going to believe it?

This series of writings is broken down into four key areas that the Lord has given me to focus on: Vanity, Insecurity, Confidence, and Beauty; I like to think of them as the two plagues and the two cures. In each of these areas, there are men and women of God in scripture that the Lord has placed on my heart to help depict the tragedy and triumphs of vanity, insecurity, confidence, and beauty. This is not at all new to God’s people, this whole controversy of insecurity and confidence, but it is an area that I believe it is time for God’s people to conquer starting in this new year. I pray that this will hopefully spark a fire in your heart to begin walking as more confident children of God. Confidence is not arrogance; it’s having an unshakable assurance in your Source and in your purpose.

Until next time,

The Symbol of the Stone

2011-01-06T06:36:00.001-08:00

In the book of Daniel, chapter 6, Daniel was selected to supervise the high officers and to be a protector of the king. In verse 3 it says that because Daniel proved himself more capable than all the others like him, the king even planned to elevate him to be over the entire empire. The other high officers and administrators became envious of him, not because of his abilities alone, but because of the power he possessed in the Lord. They knew that Daniel operated by the Spirit and they envied that. The officers and administrators went to desperate measures to find some kind of fault with Daniel, and since they could find nothing they resorted to his faith- his greatest attribute. They went to the king and brought forth a proposal that would ban prayer and worship for the next thirty days.

Because they knew who Daniel was and they knew his faithfulness and devotion to the Lord, they had to attack him with his faith. The enemy did not want God gaining any worship, nor did he want Daniel to prosper. So, the king found no reason to disagree with the others for it was the new law and he signed the decree to ban prayer. The officials then received the go ahead from the king to persecute Daniel, for they knew that he would pray no matter what, thus making for them to easily be able to persecute him for breaking their law. They went to the king and told him about catching Daniel praying, but the king’s response was surprising. He acknowledged that yes it was indeed the law, but the bible says in verse 14 that the king became troubled; and in verse 18 it says he even tried to think of a way to save Daniel- so much so he fasted. The king had to agree with the law and sentenced Daniel to the lions den. But, after a night of fasting and unsettling brought upon him by the Holy Spirit, the king jumped up and went immediately to the lions den to find Daniel. When he arrived, Daniel was untouched and the mouth of the lion was closed. God had showed up just in time for Daniel. The Lord kept his covenant promise with Daniel and showed up to rescue him.

But, I want to go back to something that I believe is profound. In verse 17, the bible says that “A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the lions den. The king sealed the stone with his own royal seal and the seals of his nobles, so that no one could rescue Daniel.” The stone; the stone was what was supposed to have sealed Jesus’ tomb, but it wasn’t strong enough. The stone I believe is symbolic in two ways: The stone symbolizes the enemy’s final say so, his “thinking” that he has won – his victory. But on the same note, it is representative of God’s covenant with us- a reminder of his faithfulness, his looking out for us. For both Daniel and Jesus, the stone in a sense sealed the deal. When the stone was rolled in front of Jesus’ tomb, it sealed what the enemy was doing and confined Jesus to the tomb, temporarily that is. According to the enemy, the stone of the lions den confined Daniel, but again it was temporary. The stones in both cases were the enemy’s way of sealing the fates of both Jesus and Daniel; but in the same light they were God’s way of reminding them of His covenant.

Although their stones confined them to their darkest hours, again temporarily, they were rolled away only to reveal and bring to life God’s promise and to bring forth a reminder of his covenant with us. Jesus rose that day and Daniel was untouched by the lions. They went into those pits harmed, but came out untouched. Their pits gave God the opportunity to remind them and us of his forever covenant with us. There is not a pit too low or too dark, no cave too deep or too grave, and no stone too big that God cannot ultimately roll away and work together for our good (Romans 8:28).
Where these stones are placed in our lives, where the enemy has put his seal, God’s covenant with us always and just at the right time, just in time, rolls away that stone. No stone is in your life by accident or without reason; it is there on purpose- for God’s glory to shine. Jesus rose with incredible power; Daniel walked out of the lions den with victory and followers, as the king then declared that God was in fact the living God. Don’t think that when the stone is rolled in front of the tomb that you are confined, it just means that soon the covenant that you have with the Lord has to show its face and the enemy’s stone has to be rolled out of the way. Gather your things and get ready! For when the stone is moved, you have to be ready to walk out of your pit and walk into victory.

Should've, Would've, Could've, but you Didn't

2011-01-05T20:10:00.001-08:00

I have been contemplating over the past few days the wonder and splendor of God. The Holy Spirit reminded me a few days ago of the limitless power of the Lord- how the Lord can do anything, at any moment, and however He wants to. I was driving in deep thought when I started to think of a past situation. I thought to myself if I could redo this, I would do it this way and like this. But this day, the Holy Spirit interrupted and said- God has the power to do anything, at any moment, and however he pleases; nothing happens by accident. Although we know this, sometimes it is easy to get wrapped up in this thing called life and focus only on the situation in the natural. When we allow ourselves to live encompassed in the mindset of God can do anything, at any moment, and in any way, we liberate ourselves from reoccuring regrets, worry and stress, replays over and over in our minds, and we embrace the wonder, splendor, and limitless possibilities of our Father. We allow God to be who He is, Sovereign.

Should've, would've, could've, but you didn't. So often we get caught up in rehearsing things of the past and beating ourselves up for how we have handled things, but can we turn back time? No. God doesn't make mistakes and He allows certain things to occur in our lives. This was a simple principle, yet so refreshing for me this week because I think sometimes we need a reminder of who our Daddy really is. This world is trivial and everything in it compared to the awesome glory of our Lord. He has the power to do WHATEVER, WHENEVER, and HOWEVER! Consider all moments in life learning experiences. When you find yourself tempted to say should've, would've, could've, remind yourself that this was something God allowed. He could have stopped it, he couldve changed the experience or outcome if he wanted, but because he allowed it to happen He will ultimately get the glory and in many cases there is a lesson to be learned from it. One way that I challenge myself personally is that when I find myself having a moment like I did that afternoon, one of those should've, would've, could've moments, I try to stop myself quickly and remember that God allowed it to happen so there must be a lesson for me to learn from it. One of the things that really jacks with the enemy is when we walk in full confidence and security in our father's power and sovereignty, no matter the situation, good or bad.

If he allowed it, then somehow, whether you can see it or understand it or not, His glory will show its face through it. Consider every occurance in your life an opportunity to be one of these three things: 1. An opportunity to show God's glory. 2. A life learning experience. 3. An opportunity for you to both see and honor God's power-good or bad. Just as His word says, He always works everything together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

So, really chew on this: God can do can do anything, at any moment, and however He wants to. Man, this is big! Any situation can change at any moment. Any door can open in your life at any moment. Any breakthrough can happen in your life at any moment, however He wants it to happen! WOW! One of my sweet friends sent the neatest quote to me in a text last week and it said this:

What could take 50 years in the natural to do, God can do in 5 minutes.

WHATEVER! WHENEVER! HOWEVER!

Be blessed and until next time,

A little nugget of hope :)

2010-12-28T20:25:00.000-08:00

To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives- the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections- that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for. Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and TRUST that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.

~Henri Nouwen in Bread for the Journey~

This captivated my heart when I read it earlier and I hope that it has done the same for you! :)

L.O.V.E.

2010-12-26T16:28:00.000-08:00

The only phrase that I can find to adequately describe what is happening to me right now is that I am falling madly in love. My mind has been in overdrive the past few weeks trying to figure out a way to understand this convergence that is happening in my spirit and the Holy Spirit drew the parallel for me last night; I am falling madly in love again with the Lord. When the Holy Spirit gave that to me, I began to think about the things we do when we are in love in the natural. I know some of these might sound cheesy, but you know they are true haha! You know when you are in love you cannot think of anything else but that person; there is not a day that goes by that you dont think of them. Also, you will do anything for that person. I was reading one of my favorite books by Francis Chan the other day and he said something like- you know that you are in love with someone when you will drive anywhere at anytime to see that person. Oh, how I remember those days...haha! But it is so true! There is nothing that you desire more than pleasing and being there for that person. When I started to think about those things and what has been taking place in my heart and in my spirit, it matched perfectly with that word from the Lord: I am falling head over heels in love with my Savior. Its not that I have not been in love with him, but its like a light bulb has come on in a different room and I am seeing more and more of the goodness and beauty of who he is. My desire has become to want to do nothing more than to serve him and please him and to be with him every chance I get.

Recently, I had made plans to go after a major scholastic accolade that was a big deal. It is something that I felt I finally wanted to do and since it was everything that I had asked for if the opportunity came about, I just knew it was my chance. I sought the Lord for several months and felt like I should pursue it. I had made plans to go after this and began working on the intense prepatory materials. But is wasnt until recently that the Lord began to do this heart surgery on me that my desires changed. When it initially began to happen, I could not explain what was happening to me so I equated my hesitation toward this endeavor as fear. But I knew that even though the preparation would have been hard work and tedious, I had no doubt that God would give me the grace to do it so I knew soon that it wasnt fear, but that it was something bigger than me. God began to stir up a longing in my heart for more of Him; to love him more and to love others just as much. This desire to just love and to be his hands and feet has become overpowering. I was driving recently when I just turned down the radio and said, "Lord, all I want to do is love you and your people. Let me be a blessing to the least of these. Let me be your hands and feet!" And I kid you not, in an instant the Holy Spirit spoke- There is a greater call on your life and your eternal assignment to complete here on earth needs you now. There was a peace and a joy that fell over me like nothing that I could ever explain with words. I did not question the Lord another second, and in the middle of the night the Lord woke me up and began to share this word with me that I know is a word for you all as well:

When you are willing to lay down those things that you hold dearest to your heart for my sake; when you base your future and your decisions and choices on my Kingdom and my sake; when you listen for my voice to open or close doors before you move or before you speak, these are the times when I see the condition of your heart, when I know just how much you love me, when you will reap the greatest reward in heaven and on earth. When you realize that its not about you and you ungrudgingly accept my verdict in any situation, you have the mind of Christ.

As I lay there staring at the ceiling, meditating on that word, that same peace that had drowned me earlier, consumed me again in that moment. I had no regrets and no questions; honestly part of me was like shouldnt I refute this just a little bit? But I could not. Just as it happens in the natural when you fall in love- you have an unexplainable trust in that person and you love them so much you want to do nothing but please them. I could not argue with the Lord, I instead became excited because I knew I had obeyed my Father and what was next would be even better. I have come to a place where I have chosen to fully walk out the phrase- Its not about me, and a place where I will completely and fully live out His plan for my life. Our rewards here on earth are meaningless compared to the eternal harvest we will reap. One of the first mindsets that we must take on when getting into a relationship or falling in love in the natural is to become selfless. This is exactly the same with that first step in falling in love in the spirit, we must choose to become selfless. Its all about Him, and we only have a small part in this movie called life. When you realize that its not about you and you ungrudgingly accept His verdict in any situation, you have the mind of Christ and therefore are more adequately equipped to take on His Kingdom purpose and calling for your life and to be more more effective examples of His hands and feet here on earth.

Some might call me radical, but I just call myself in love. Sometimes I dont know where He may lead, but I trust my Beloved. I want to leave you with a quote from my favorite theologian A.W. Tozer. Let this become the cry of your heart. When you let God do what he needs to do through you, he will do what you need Him to do in you. Until next time,

O God, I have tasted thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the triune God, I want thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me thy glory, I pray thee, so that I may know thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long... ~A.W. Tozer~

Merry Christmas :)

2010-12-24T08:09:00.000-08:00

Wishing you all a very blessed and very merry Christmas! One of my favorite Christmas songs by none other than the very talented Mr.Brad Paisley. Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Blessings :)

Out with the old and in with the new!

2010-12-22T20:18:00.000-08:00

So I am feeling spontaneous tonight....here it goes

I was sitting over dinner tonight with one of my best friends and we were reflecting over this year and talking about the great things that we believe are to come in this next year. As I look over this year, I must say that it was a tough one. 2010 was tough, but also a teacher, as it has made me into a new woman. The Lord presented me with various trials and lessons that I feel have transformed me into a wiser and mightier woman of God. It is because of these things that I have the strength today. Thank you Lord for every moment of 2010, for all of the lessons learned, and for every closed door and every opened door.

About a week or so ago when I began to reflect on similarities and differences between where I was this time last year and where I am now, I began to construct an almost venn diagram like image in my head as I compared and contrasted the two. All in all I was impressed with the results. The things that were on my plate then, I saw that the Lord has gotten me through and moved me past them today. Praise God! I was pretty excited. But, then I noticed one or two things that had absolutely no progress or change. So, my contemplator cap came on and I began to ask myself why these things had not changed or progressed? Was it because of God's timing? or was God waiting on me to let go? I meditated on it and I felt in my spirit this: God has ordained a time and a season for everything that he has called to pass. The keyword there is everything that HE has called to pass, not WE. In that perfect ordained season, he will manifest and bring to pass everything he has promised to us. But, sometimes we withhold God's best blessings from ourselves when we hang on to things that are already dead, as us southerners say, we keep beating on a dead horse hoping deep down it might wake up even though its been dead for days. It is hard to receive something new, when we have arms full of old baggage. In this new year folks, I believe God is about to release some amazing things to us, but we must first let the dead horses rest and stop trying to beat life into things that God has laid to rest this year. I tend to think in pictures and I see it like this: God is standing there with his arms folded watching the birds in the sky and whistling while we run back and forth to the same dry well day after day hoping there will be water. We pray and pray, and wait and wait on that one well, when if we just look right next door we will see that there has been a well full of water there the whole time. As soon as the light comes on and we notice it and realize that we have been missing God's provision the entire time, I picture him then looking at us and saying, "Finally, my child. I have been waiting for you. Now can you come follow me this way to your blessing...geez!" hahaha funny huh? But how it is oh so true.

As this new year approaches, I encourage you to seek Him completely and to start fresh! Do not carry old baggage and dead horses into your new season. God has bigger and better things for you if you just look to Him. Seek Him first and then all of his goodness and mercy will follow you all of your days. I am excited that the new season is here. Goodbye old things, and hello new things. I am so hungry for a fresh taste of God and a fresh batch of His goodness in my life. I am personally praying about and in Jesus' name taking on many new endeavors and adventures this coming year and I am excited to see what God is going to do, and I encourage you to do the same.

Move forward and dont look back!! God's best for your life lies ahead, no need to keep looking back.

Until next time,

Practical yet profound: God never changes his mind...

2010-12-18T22:28:00.000-08:00

Romans 4:20-24

20 Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. 21 He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. 22 And because of Abraham's faith, God counted him as righteous. 23 And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn't just for Abraham's benefit. It was recorded 24 for our benefit too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

I absolutely LOVE this set of scriptures! Abraham had an unwavering faith. In the times when he could have thrown in the towel, his faith grew stronger! God desires for us to live just like Abraham- to function in complete, unwavering faith. In those times when it seems like God has changed his mind or when it seems that God has gone silent in answering our requests, those are the times when God is working overtime and when He is testing our faith. Delayed does not mean denied. I think that delayed means time for perfection. Although it might be delayed on our watch, its right on time according to God's. God will always fulfill His promises on His time and in His way because they are for His Glory.

One of my favorite quotes is one by Pastor David Binion. The quote says:

We were created to desire only that in which HE can fulfill.

When I first heard this quote, it was as if a light bulb came on for me. I had been writing off the desires of my heart as my own selfish desires when the Lord ministered to me through this and said, Carisha you are desiring those things that I have birthed in your heart, those things in which only I can fulfill. When you come to a place of complete saturation in the Lord and when the Holy Spirit is your tour guide, remember we are only tourists here on this foreign land- visiting from heavenly places far greater, what is in the Father begins to manifest in and through you. When God births a desire and a promise, stand on it and know that God never changes his mind. God will always fulfill his promises, no matter what.

I always think of Numbers 23:19: God is not a man, so he does not lie. God is not human so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? This is by far one of the most intriguing and comforting scriptures in my opinion. I think so many times we equate God with man in the sense that he might change his mind or flake out on his follow through. NEVER!! Know that whatever God has promised you will eventually come to pass. God's best, His good and perfect things, require cultivation and preparation. There is no place for prematurity. Trust that God is moving on your behalf and in the meantime focus on how to glorify Him, until. Sometimes God just wants to see if we will do just that: prepare until, pray until, and believe until...

Until next time,

Something Beautiful...

2010-12-05T18:24:00.001-08:00

I was driving home tonight and the Lord nudged me to share this. So, here it is. Enjoy :)

Yesterday, I went over to my parents to help my mom put up Christmas decorations and hang out. Mom and I were decorating and we began to talk about my dad. When I say parents now, I am referring to my mom and my stepdad, as I lost my father in 2005 to a tragic stroke and eventually cancer. My mom and I were just talking about memories of him and how shocking his death was. I began talking about how when the cancer took over and he was placed in hospice, and how hard it was to just have to basically watch him die. I told my mom that in my life I have never experienced anything like it- to be absolutely helpless and powerless, to literally only be able to sit and watch something that means the world to you wither away and die. I began to remember the night when I got the call that Dad had went home to be with the Lord as I was sitting in my friend's apartment watching a movie when my phone rang with the news. I remember not answering my phone, but shortly after telling my friend that I was tired and was going to head home; only to get in my car and have to hear the voicemail from my uncle telling me that Dad had lost his fight. I was powerless and I had to trust God completely. As I sat day to day, numb, my heart slowly shattering into what felt like millions of pieces, I realized that I had to let go. Weeks before, the Lord had spoken to me in a dream that He would take my Father and that I must trust Him. I remember not understanding why God would do such a thing and I was so angry at Him and at myself because I was absolutely powerless. I prayed and rebuked it, but God had made up His mind and there was no going back. He had His will in place, not mine.

Some things must die says the Lord, but what I will return- the beauty I will replace for those ashes in your life will bring a new power to you and will change your life forever. God did just that in my life. He took my ashes and gave me beauty; he took away my "power" and made me powerless in order that I might learn to completely depend on Him; in order that His complete will be fulfilled in my life. Although I never dreamed that God would have made something beautiful out of something so tragic, out of such great a loss, he did just that. God has not only made me into a new, stronger woman of God, but more importantly he has given me a testimony that I have shared with countless people that He has used to change their lives; A testimony of His power to rescue and redeem.

Sometimes we are holding on to things that God has already ordered gone in our lives. He has already taken whatever it is back as His and it has to go. There is nothing that we can do to stop Him from changing his mind because above all His will must be fulfilled. When God makes us powerless before whatever it is that we are holding on to, that is when God wants us to release the reigns so that He can release something greater than we could ever see in our lives. He wants us to let go of whatever it is, big or small, whether it may be a job, material thing, friendship, relationship, a heartache, a grudge, whatever it might be we must let Him have it and trust His will. It might hurt for a moment, but the greater victory always lies ahead. God never makes mistakes. You might feel like whatever it is you've worked hard for, or it has become such a part of you that you cannot just let it go- you're trying to hold on to something that God has already laid to rest. We can make our lives harder when we hang on, instead of praising him for the time we've had and trusting in His divine will and letting go.

With every death comes a resurrection of something new. I heard something so inspiring the other day that goes hand in hand with this: Redemption versus Restoration. Redemption means to be exchanged for something else or to be made into something new and good; while restoration means to be refurbished or rebuilt. When God forces us to lay things down, it is in order for him to redeem something, not to just restore it. We shouldnt just want restoration- for old things to be refurbished or rebuilt. Instead, we should desire for God to redeem things in our lives- to exchange our ashes for something beautiful. Whatever it is that God is calling you to lay down, know and trust that God knows what he is doing. When he brings us to a place of powerlessness, that is the place where He can redeem things and make new things, not just restore them. I sense that God is taking so many of us, in so many areas of our lives, away from some of the things that have seemed like such integral parts of us, to lead us to bigger things; things far greater than what we have been used to, things in His perfect will. Trust that God doesnt bring us to a place of powerlessness for nothing, he brings us there so he can exercise His complete power in our lives to make them and every thing in them, into something beautiful.

Until next time, I am going to leave you with one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands...enjoy :)

Need to Breathe - Something Beautiful - Exclusive Performance

2010-12-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

Something Beautiful
By, Needtobreathe

In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will you let me drown, will you let me drown?

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees.
I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is rising quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side.

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees.
I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

Tony Lucca- Anchored

2010-11-19T07:32:00.000-08:00

Just a sweet little favorite song of mine by one of my favorite artists, Mr. Tony Lucca....Ive been singing it all morning....love it...enjoy :)

Now for a limited time only!

2010-11-10T18:55:00.001-08:00

How many times have we seen the ads or marketing slogans that say "For a limited time only!" Or “This offer won’t last long!”? The Lord spoke to me about changing our thinking and our faith, and how we must shift from "For a limited time only" faith, to an "expect the unexpected” faith. Here it is.

A limited time only suggests just that, that whatever it is wont last long. The availability of whatever it is is contingent upon one acting on it within a certain time frame. Once the allotted time frame has expired, then the offer is no longer available. We often times as believers put "limited time only" offers on our faith. We have our hype moments and our I am going to believe the impossible moments, but when the going gets tough or when we start to look at things with our natural eyes, often times our faith expires.

I am going to be transparent for a second and share a personal nugget with you to better explain this. I have had a situation that I have been working through diligently and God has given me great favor and success, slowly but surely in it. While I have not completely conquered it, I am a lot further than I was and my entire mindset has shifted in being successful in this area and handling it with kingdom principles. But, I found myself equating God's release of blessing and favor to me in this area with past decisions and mistakes I had made in the past. For example, I would tell myself that since I had not been so wise in the past in this area then God was probably not going to do this thing right away, that he would make me wait longer or endure more trials to teach me a lesson. While God does take the time to cultivate Christ likeness in these areas, He is not standing in heaven with a checklist of punishments and reprimands for you. Well even though I say this now, this was my thinking- that God was still looking at the past and deciding on His favor toward me in this area based on that. But God! The breath of the Holy Spirit brought a freedom to my mind and my spirit when it whispered, "Who said my favor was contingent upon anything? Why do you have such great faith for everyone and everything else in your life, yet you have a "limited time only" label when it comes to this?" At that moment when our faith expires, because we no longer completely believe that something is possible, we put boundaries and walls up that prevent God from manifesting the impossible in our lives. To stop believing that God can do something, literally halts the progression of the impossible in our lives. Yet when we gain faith and remove all limitations from our mind and our thinking about what He can or cannot do, when we just simply believe that something is possible, He in turn releases the unfeasible.

Initially, I was sort of embarrassed at what seemed like such a practical, epiphanic moment; but, as I contemplated and chewed on it for a while, the Holy Spirit began to speak to me that this is something that some of us believers are plagued with and we don’t even know it. It is easy to measure God's goodness to us with what we feel like we deserve, since that is how the world teaches us. We can accept only so much, but then when it comes to certain areas that maybe we have jacked up in the past, our "limited time only" faith moves in and all of a sudden we start playing God and want to equate His blessing with what we think our worth is or what we think we deserve, instead of realizing that we are made new in Christ and there are no more limitations.

I believe that we limit God’s outpouring of impossibilities in our lives just with wrong thinking. We must know and understand that God wants to shower His goodness on us in every area, not just the ones that you were whether in the past or currently, “really good” in. As I said earlier, because I wasn’t responsible in this area in the past, I was saying to myself, literally, “God I know you are going to bless me amazingly in this area after I show you for a while that I can do this and this.” I felt like I had to prove myself to God before he could bless me. But, the still small voice whispered right in my ear, "Haven’t you been faithful and endured diligently and for a long while now? Have you not passed every trial and test that has come your way? Are you not a different person now? But you get it now…" I had carried my past unknowingly into my present, not realizing that the old me in this area, just like in all of the other areas, was gone and God wasn’t basing His release of goodness on my past. Talk about liberating, huh?

I encourage you to take a second and think of any area that you have "limited time only" faith in. These are those areas that you have faith in God in, but you easily lose it or you have fine print writing that you have inserted yourself that puts rules and limitations on God’s hand. I think of it like this: when there is an offer or something usually there is fine print and contest rules somewhere right? But with God there is simply the offer and there is no fine print, unless of course we add it in. It could be because of a past failure, a past hurt, or past mistake, but whatever it is, God doesn’t see it any longer and He sure doesn’t liken the release of the impossible in your life in that area to how many slash marks you may have once had on the board for it. God's goodness and grace have no expiration date. His offers are eternal. Remember, to stop believing that God can do something, literally impedes upon the progression of the impossible in our lives. Rather when we change our minds and just believe, we give Him the go ahead to not only release the impossible, but to release His best.

Until next time,

1 Peter 2:4-10 (GOD’S WORD Translation)

4 You are coming to Christ, the living stone who was rejected by humans but was chosen as precious by God. 5 You come to him as living stones, a spiritual house that is being built into a holy priesthood. So offer spiritual sacrifices that God accepts through Jesus Christ. 6 That is why Scripture says,

“I am laying a chosen and precious cornerstone in Zion, and the person who believes in him will never be ashamed.”

7 This honor belongs to those who believe. But to those who don’t believe:

“The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone,8 a stone that people trip over, a large rock that people find offensive.”

The people tripped over the word because they refused to believe it. Therefore, this is how they ended up.

9 However, you are chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, people who belong to God. You were chosen to tell about the excellent qualities of God, who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10 Once you were not God’s people, but now you are. Once you were not shown mercy, but now you have been shown mercy.

Its a been a while

2010-11-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

I am working on a piece right now that I believe is going to be life changing! The Lord has birthed in my heart a word about vanity, beauty, confidence, and the children of God. The Lord has designed us to walk in an unshakable confidence simply because we are children of the Most High God. Vanity is a dangerous thing, as it is temporal and contingent upon worldly expectations, yet so often as Christians we find ourselves caught in this whirlwind of a mess. If we are in the world and not of it, why is it that so many men and women of God struggle with vanity? lacking confidence in who God has made them to be? Vanity and insecurity were nailed to the cross with everything else, and that in itself should be enough to make us walk in bold confidence. What God has to say about vanity and beauty is profound, and I cannot wait to share these things with you all.

So, keep checking in as I post nuggets of this here and there and then of course for the grand finale here in a few weeks.

Ask yourself this question: When do you feel the most beautiful? handsome?
The answer, all the time because He said so. :)

Until next time,
Carisha

A sweet little song that I love so much :)

2010-11-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

Spontaneous rambling....

2010-10-16T20:02:00.001-07:00

I have been told time and time again that when you unhinderingly love and pursue never ending intimacy with the Father that his heart becomes yours. I am in a season where I am even more head over heels, no inhibitions at all, smitten by my beloved. I crave intimacy and time with Him, I crave His company. I move only when he says go. I hear his voice and I listen, confirming that every desire of my heart is His.

What do you do when there is a desire that you know He placed there, yet because it has exhausted your flesh, you want to let go? Then comes those times when you wonder what the alternative or other options are, would they be easier? would they be better? You try out an option or two, but you find yourself at the end of the day, some how and some way, never forgetting that in which He has spoken? Why is that? I believe it can only be because He allows your heart to be drawn to that in which He placed in your heart only. We were created to desire only what he can fulfill, thus allowing room to say that those things in which your heart always returns to at the end of the day after you have tried all of the rest and left unsatisfied, confirms that very principle. We desire only what He can fulfill, that in which only He can bring to pass.

Take it away God, its not how I thought it would look! I'm done, this is boring! God, please remove this from my life because this is clearly not what I had planned. God spoke to me recently and said five powerful words that I grudgingly and at times rebelliously pondered: "Factor yourself out of it!" But, God don't I have some input? What about what I want? Isn't it easy for us to act like children and make it all about us? While God is not factoring out the desires of our heart, He is reminding us in these times that life is not about us, its all about Him. God will nudge you over and over about His plan, He never takes it away; yet instead He constantly reminds you and makes sure that you never cease in desiring that in which only He can fulfill.

I am expressing my heart tonight, but also of course sending forth hopefully a blessing over you all reading this too. Never forget that we as children of the most high were created to desire that in which only our Father can fulfill. If you have surrendered everything you are to Him, you especially have a heart fashioned after His own- thus allowing you to trust every desire of it. Stand on the promises and remember- never, ever take your eyes off of Him. For at the right time, everything will come together for your good as it is in heaven.

Signing off for the evening,
Carisha

A Regal Address

2010-09-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

The absolute only thing that we owe to God is to never be afraid of anything.
~Charles deFocauld~

I heard a song a couple days ago that made my heart smile. I was having a rough day and the Lord let me turn the radio on at just the right time. In that moment he remided me to never lose a minute worrying or being consumed by anything here on earth. Carrie Underwood has a beautiful song called Temporary Home that is a beautiful reminder of just that. The chorus of the lyrics go like this:

This is our temporary home, it's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is our temporary home

It made me laugh and cry because the words should truly be an ode from us as His children to this world and to our Savior. This world is our temporary home. We might endure tough times and craziness here and there, but we as children of God must remind ourselves daily that we are just visitors here on earth. Nothing here will ever make sense to us, or be completely perfect. The day to day things that come up and that we must face are temporary. This is our temporary home. We have a regal address. We are on vacation. We are simply passing through. Just remember when tough times sneak up on you, consider them an opportunity to praise him always and to remind yourself that this is our temporary home, its not where we belong; windows and rooms that we're passing through. This is just a stop on the way to where we're going. We need not be afraid because we know this is our temporary home. Enjoy the video link below. Be blessed :)

The Joy of Possessing Nothing

2010-09-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and abnegation of all things. The blessed ones who possess the kingdom are they who have repudiated every external thing and have rooted from their hearts all sense of possessing. These are the "poor in spirit." They have reached an inward state paralleling the outward circumstances of the common beggar in the streets of Jerusalem. This is what the word poor as Christ used it actually means. These blessed poor are no longer slaves to the tyranny of things. They have broken the yoke of the oppressor; and this they have done not by fighting but by surrendering. Though free from all sense of possessing, they yet possess all things. Theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

~One of my favorite excerpts from A.W. Tozer's masterpiece, "The Pursuit of God"~

The Hitcher

2010-09-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

So I was driving home from work today lost in worship, enjoying the rainy day ambiance when the Lord gave me something that I know in my heart I need to share. Enjoy.

I want to propose a question to you: Who is driving your car of life? Who is really in charge of your destination? If God is driving and navigating, then we should never worry about where it is we are going, or about how we will get there. When we are the driver, things look slightly different. When we are driving, we fall into an obsession with the details of where it is he is taking us and what the trip will be like. When we become enthralled more with the specifics and monitoring things for our comforts, then we become the backseat driver and ultimately limit what God can do in our lives and we end up driving ourselves.

One of the things that I have enjoyed experiencing more than anything this past year and more so now is letting Jesus be the driver. I think of it as being like a hitchhiker. Let me explain. We are the hitcher, standing on the side of the road of life, on the outskirts of this world searching for a new place to go. We walk up and down the roads of life not sure what it is that we are searching for, but we just want a lift to the next town. When suddenly after hours, days, and even weeks of searching, our rescue samaritan comes and gives us a lift. Hitchers are interesting in that they literally operate on chance and faith. They take the word of the driver; they hop on in and hope that the driver keeps their word as to where they promised to take them. While the driver is pretty much a mystery to the hitcher, there is an inherent trust and confidence that they have in them even though they may fear them slightly. They entrust their life and their destination to the driver. We are the hitcher that waits and waits and Jesus is the driver that we slightly fear, yet we trust. Our ride comes to take us off of our feet that we have been pacing back and forth with and standing on day after day. He offers us a ride to the next place and although we are uncertain of exactly where he is going to take us, we know that the next place is further than where we are now and we are tired of standing and pacing. This makes sense, right? But how often do we glance in the vehicle that has slowed down before us and look around in it and say, "No thanks, I will wait for another to come through." Sounds completely ridiculous huh? But how often do we turn down Jesus because a certain destination looks tough or the ride doesn’t look like what we thought it would. I feel like the Lord is saying to us today, you are tired of standing and pacing up and down the streets, yet when a ride stops for you, not focused on the destination and instead on your comforts, you peek around in the car and decide to wait on another ride. Yet you continue to wait around looking pathetic and complaining that your ride has not yet arrived when he has already been there and offered to pick you up.

When the Lord is IT in our lives, when he is the driver and the operator, we should be like the desperate hitcher, eager to catch a ride on his robe to the next place. We know that our efforts are useless and it doesn’t matter where he is taking us because we know it is somewhere according to his will and his plan and we just sit back in the seat, take our shoes off, and enjoy the ride. God has designed us to operate in such a fashion in our lives. As long as we try to hold on to things and want to play backseat driver and give him directions when his navigation system is right in front of him, we will miss the beauty of the heavenly stamp on our lives and miss the chance of living out the true infinite possibilities of heaven in our lives.

God never said our crosses wouldn’t be heavy, he just commanded that we pick them up and walk. I encourage you to examine your life and ask yourself, am I just happy my ride came and I don’t care where he takes me or am I turning down his ride, standing and waiting for the next driver? Am I a desperate hitcher or am I standing on the road being selective? Am I riding or backseat driving? The desperate hitcher always makes it to the next place, while the selective hitcher can remain on the same street, in the same place for days.

Which one are you?

At the end of the day, He is and always will be the author and the finisher of everything. Let go and let Him. Sometimes the moment you let go, is the moment he pulls up, picks you up, and takes you to the next place.

“My life is no longer about me. Do I know where God is taking me? I know the desires of my heart and I know because my heart is set on Him that what he has birthed in me He will fulfill according to his plan. Do I ever fear where God is taking me? Absolutely not because it's not about me, it's about His glory. I am hitching a ride with my beloved and I know we are going somewhere beautiful and I am safe in his hands. At times he might take a road I would have bypassed, but at the end of the day He will get me where He wants me. I fear the mystery that He is, but I trust Him completely. My life and my destiny are in his hands.”
~Me~

Faith is taking the first step without seeing the entire staircase.
~Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.~

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
~Hebrews 11:1~

The Sanctified Control Freak

2010-09-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

I was having dinner with a dear friend of mine yesterday evening when I had a revelation. She and I were discussing life and the latest happenings in each of our lives when we began to discuss a situation in my life. I proceeded to tell her that the weirdest thing with this situation I had been noticing was that the more I let go, the more I saw God move in it. Then she laughed and said, Carisha dont you see a trend here? As she spoke those words, the Lord began to speak those same words to me in the same moment. I have found in my own life that the more I let go and let Him, the more He moves. Sometimes when you are asking for God's help, but you are hoarding over Him trying to help or see if He is doing it the way you want it done, He will stop moving until you get out of the way. He is the author and the finisher. He wants to have the wheel. He wants to be the facilitator. He wants to be in control. God is a sanctified control freak. He wants things done His way or no way at all. He has His idea in mind and that is the only idea that matters to Him. His plan takes precedent over anyone else's. Shouldn't we want Him to be a control freak over our lives being that He knows what is best for us and because He sees the whole picture from beginning to end?

God has been showing me this so much lately and it has changed my life. When we spend our time striving and pushing, God steps back because there is no room for Him. But, when we stand back and say God you take full control, we then do not have to strive or push because He is going to do His great thing. What I have enjoyed most about this experience is seeing how the Lord is fulfilling the desires of my heart completely. He is honestly taking me by suprise day after day. I had been sabotaging the work of the Lord, my blessings, and the desires of my heart by trying to "help God". I was jacking up His plan, while He was just waiting for me to let Him do it His perfect way. Failed attempt after failed attempt, disappointment after disappointment, but I had convinced myself that God needed my helping hand. Luckily God didnt let me completely sabotage things, and when I began to listen to and respond to the whisper of the Lord instructing me to just chill and let Him do it, things immediately started to turn around.

I picture it this way. You are standing before the Lord at the end of your life and as you walk to the front of the line after He has called your name, you notice he has to rolls of paper in his hand with your name on it. He unrolls those pieces of paper and you see two plans with your name on it. You look at the first one and you say to Him, "this one is mine," but you look over at the other one and you say, "hmmm well a couple things on there are mine, but well no this is not mine, I think you have the wrong name on it." Then the Father looks at you and says, "Actually, they are both yours. The one you recognize is the one you chose, and the other one is the one I had for you." You stand back and look at the one that you thought had the wrong name on it and as you look closer you recognize more than you initially thought. Where there were detours and crashes in "your plan", there were none in this other one. And where there had been something rough or bad in "your plan" that you had fled from, you notice that in this other plan that those led to crazy open doors that you had hoped for but wrote off because you thought that they weren't God's will. You look even closer and you see things that you "listened to God on and walked away from" and you see that those were supposed to be a part of the plan and were destined to lead you to where He wanted to take you. The greatest tragedy happens when you look at the endings of the two plans and you see how different they are. "Your plan" led you to only what your eyes could see and your hands could reach, while the other would have led you to the things that only His eyes could see and everything you ever dreamed of. His plan would have led you to the impossible.

Your ways or His ways?

2010-09-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

If he asked you to give all you had today, would you?
If he asked you to risk it all today, would you?
Have you devoted all of your life, not just wednesdays and sundays, to God?
How might your life be different if you just gave it all to Him?
Didnt he risk it all for us on the cross over 2,000 years ago?
Ultimately, isn't it all His anyway?

An Unlikely Parallel

2010-09-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

As believers in Christ, we all encounter seasons of dryness or stagnancy. But I want to propose a question: Do we truly have to? It could be argued that such seasons are inevitable simply because God wants our love and pursuit after him to be a lifelong endeavor which naturally calls for lots of hard work and some trials and difficulties along the way. Or on the other hand, such seasons should be practically nonexistent in that our love for God should be so paradoxical in the sense that although we have found him, our pursuit for Him should never cease because of our constant hunger and longing for Him. If we position ourselves within His reach and within His will always, seasons of stagnancy tend to appear less frequently. In the bible there is a symbol that draws a direct parallel to our very lives and is a literal illustration of what it takes to reach our full potential in Christ; that symbol is the fig tree. Throughout the bible, the fig tree is referred to and talked about as a source of power. In 2 Kings 20:1-10, King Hezekiah after suffering from a life threatening plague, is blessed with healing from a simple touch from the leaves of a fig tree. Another famous reference to the fig tree occurs in Matthew 21:18-22 when Jesus is on His way back to Jerusalem from Bethany and He curses the fig tree for not bearing fruit. In Luke 13:6-9, Jesus compares barrenness in the Spirit to the fig tree. It says that a man planted a fig tree and came again and again to see if there was any fruit on it, but always left disappointed. In three years he did not see a single fig. He decided to cut down the tree, but his gardener coerced him to give it one more chance and another year to see if it would actually produce fruit; if it didn’t become productive he would cut it down. Our lives and how we chose to live them are very similar in that they can bring either life or death to everyone and everything around us. If we allow God to be our cultivator, the very essence of His presence within us can bring life to those around us; while on the other hand if we stand around and live unproductive lives or are unable to live up to our full potential in Christ, we can sabotage our destinies and eventually God will cut our tree down because of lack of productivity.

Fig trees are special in that they have the ability to bear a very delicate fruit. But, it is only with delicate cultivation and proper care that fig trees can exist to their full potential, for the smallest error can cause them to perish. God has designed us to bear a very delicate fruit for His kingdom. But, it is only with delicate cultivation and proper care that we can exist to our full potential. God has called each and every one of us to glorify Him and to live on purpose for His kingdom. Isaiah 43:1 displays God’s exact declaration over us: We should never fear for we have been ransomed by the King. He has called us by name and we are His. Because we are His we must always strive to cultivate our lives toward His purpose and make sure that our sole focus in this life is to bear productive fruit for the kingdom.

When our roots are embedded in the Father, no matter what may come our way, it may kill the leaves and the branches and hinder our fruit production, but it is temporary; the actual tree will not completely die because the roots cannot be broken. Our roots should be so deeply embedded in the Lord in order to be able to withstand whatever comes our way. Although we may be crushed on the surface, because of where our roots are we will rise again. Roots that are shallow cannot endure much, they are temporal, and can easily be moved. Shallow roots can be a result of surface relationships with the Father where one is involved in the things of God but there are no roots truly in God; and little do they know that when trouble comes their shallow roots cannot sufficiently support them. True roots in the Lord allow us to run after Him regardless of the situation because of His dominion in our hearts; but when roots are shallow, the likelihood of us fleeing when storms come our way is higher because we lack the adequate strength necessary to survive.

As men and women of God, our sole purpose in this life is to be possessors of the power and fire of God. We should be literal reflections of healing, power, and hope sent directly from heaven; producers of only the best fruit that heaven has to offer. In fig trees, there are three basic necessities required for them to bear productive fruit: sunlight, soil, and pruning. Our lives require the same three basic necessities in order to bear productive fruit for the kingdom. We need to cohabitate with God and remain in communion with Him and His word regularly to receive our sunlight, which is our food and energy source. The things of God such as our church, the areas in which we serve or minister, and our surroundings are our soil. What we have been soaking in is the very thing that resonates from us. If you are soaking in the Lord, then that is the very aroma that you will give off. But, if you are soaking in other things, then you will give off that stench. We must consistently stay plugged into the things of God because that keeps us in alignment. with the Lord. And finally, we must allow for pruning to happen in our lives in order for us to grow in Christ.

• The Sunlight -AKA- the Word of God
Every answer to every question that we seek is found in the word of God. The Lord longs for us to immerse ourselves in His word and to literally soak in the best storybook of all time. Confusion and anxiety happen most in our lives when we are not completely in alignment with God and His word. We should get to a point as men and women of God who literally pray the word of God over our lives and find our strength in His word alone. Fig tress thrive in and are the most alive when they are exposed to an overabundance of sunlight; we live to our ultimate capacity only when we are exposed to an overabundance of the Lord. Apart from that, we perish.

• The Importance of Fertilization
Fertilization is a direct parallel to the things of God- church, service, and most of all our surroundings. If we are not immersed in the things of God in all areas, then it is impossible for God to adequately fertilize us. Fertilization literally means to make able to produce much. We cannot live productive lives for God if we are sporadically fertilized, or living half in and half out. Hanging on to one area while surrendering another is not complete submission to God. Partial obedience is disobedience and the sabotaging of one’s own destiny. If we keep ourselves consumed by the things of God, then there is only room for Him to grow and shape us. The enemy has no place.

• Pruning
I think the most important of the three necessities is pruning. Our lives are not our own, they are His. God should have full and direct access in our lives to strip down whatever he needs to in order to shape us into what his blueprint of us says we should be. Often times we become uneasy when the pruning season comes because of pride. We do not want to be removed from our comfort zones, yet we are crying out for God to show more of himself to us. I heard a quote once that said, “God never said your cross wouldn’t be heavy.” God never promised us pain free or prune free lives. When we ask God for something, he will usually require something from us in return. If you want to go deeper, then you have to show more of yourself to Him, spend more time with Him. Pruning shapes us, it matures us; it molds us into more mature men and women of God. It is a prerequisite for us to receive the privilege of walking in the things that God has planned for our lives. Everyone is tried in the fire first before they come out gold; because it is in those seasons of fire and pruning that our dents and dings are refined. We must allow God to prune, shape, and mold us. Lack of pruning allows for the risk of us burning out when we have to endure trials and hard seasons.

God has designed us to bear a very delicate fruit, fruit for His kingdom. We do not have time to sit around trying to figure out how to start His fire within us; it should be inherent because we are all called. It is only with delicate cultivation and proper care that we can exist to our full potential. We are all called to live lives that glorify Him and His kingdom; but ultimately, we are responsible for the fruit or lack thereof that we produce for the kingdom of God. When God is our cultivator, the very essence of His presence within us automatically brings life to those around us; while if we stand around and are unproductive we ultimately impair our own destinies.

So, are you bearing fruit or are you full of branches and leaves?

The Start of Something New

2010-09-01T20:47:00.001-07:00

Wow! Its been a long while, huh? Well, I am back and I am soaked in something new in the spirit that I am eager to wring out upon you. I have taken some time off to do some house cleaning and growing. There have victories and challenges, but all serving a purpose greater than me and my comforts. I have been forced to have patience, full trust, to be persistance, and to most of all never forget God's promises. I have learned to let God take control in EVERY area and surrendered ones that I wanted so bad to have a little control in. I have felt bruised and beaten up in some areas, but nonetheless I realize now that everything from this old season was on purpose. God has ignited something in me and I want to hopefully ignite that same thing in you all in this new season. We are entering a new season both in the literal and in the spiritual, and I feel that stagnancy and complacency no longer have a place. It is time for us as children of the Most High to fully walk in God's glory and victory in every area of our lives.

We as believers can be free in every area of our lives, but if in one area we are in agreement with the enemy, whether through shame, doubt, fear, insecurity, etc., we have just given him power and authority in our lives. It is time to let God reign in every area and to exterminate every lie from the enemy over our lives forever. I want to bring you practical tools and tips to help you tear off the scales over your eyes that the enemy has placed there and help you walk our your purpose with clear, kingdom vision.

I hope that you all enjoy. I know that you will be blessed.

~Carisha~

Temporary Lameness or Permanent Disability?

2010-07-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

I Am Only As Close As You Reach

2010-07-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

Spontaneous Writing: I Am Only As Close As You Reach

You will only receive as much of me as you give of yourself to me. I feel like this is exactly what the word of the Lord cries out to us as believers on a daily basis. God is not a God who merely desires notches on your Christian belt or acts of service, but he yearns even more for communion and relationship with him. Ever wondered why you have off days or days where he feels further away than normal? The answer that God has ministered a lot to me lately when I start to feel this way is, Carisha you will only find me as much as you seek me. Yes, some days we are the target of the enemy, but even then we have the power and the master key to unlocking the door to the secret place; to opening the door to God’s ultimate hideaway, his presence.

The lowest points in my walk with the Lord have been those moments when I did not feel his presence, when I felt he wasn’t near. I would do everything that I could, but for some reason the Lord’s refuge was always my last resort. Then, I would dwell in this hole of frustration and sadness for several days, weeks, until I would finally decide to surrender to the Lord’s nudge and let him have his way with the situation. Why is it sometimes hard for us to surrender when inevitably that surrender opens the door to total freedom? I think it is a combination of two things: pride and fear. I think that although we are asking for help from God, sometimes we really don’t want it. We want to fix things ourselves, we know that we cannot, but we want to play a part in it. Things become all about us and all we can focus on are our comforts and satisfaction. We don’t fully rely on the hand and heart of the one who made us, who understands us better than anyone else, our Father God.

Pride is a dangerous thing. I believe if there was a greatest sin or mistake that we as believers could make it would be to fall into the trap of pride. The Word of God addresses pride over and over and illustrates the danger of it. My favorite verse in the scriptures that describes it perfectly is 1 Peter 5:5 when Peter writes, “God opposes the proud, but favors the humble.” So simply put, but so incredibly powerful. When we think that we are the master planner in our lives and when we believe that we hold the power, no matter how small the area, pride has taken root. It’s almost paradoxical in a sense that we could have the audacity to ask God to be our Savior and the ruler in our lives, yet we want to do things ourselves. The one thing that the Lord asks of us in this life is to simply be his messengers all over the earth and to live our lives according to His will and pleasing to Him. You cannot do your own thing and hope God catches up with your plans; you must submit your plans to Him and let His will be done and not yours. Should His plans look slightly different, that is the price of following Christ. But, should His plans look slightly different, your response to it designates the exact position of your heart. If you are put out or inconvenienced by His plan, then your heart is in the wrong place because a true man or woman of God will have a heart to do exactly what the Father has called him or her to do. His desires and callings for your life will have manifested in your heart, causing you to lay down the desires of your heart and grow a love for the desires of His heart. So, be careful not to be deceived by the enemy. If you are put out by God’s plans, its time for a reassessment because it is not about you, and His will takes precedent over yours. No matter how much you draw in asking for God’s will and ignore it, it will not matter. David writes it best in Psalm 138:6 when he says, “Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud,” thus illustrating the exact point of this message: God only draws as close to us as we reach. When His plan is not your plan, no matter how much you try to justify yours, God will let you go ahead and carry through with your plan, but beware because as the end of that scripture says, He keeps his distance from the proud.

Fear keeps us from ever becoming the man or woman of God that we are called to be in this life. Fear comes in so many shapes and forms. It can be something little and innocent, but merely a root of it somewhere can sprout into other areas of our lives and be detrimental for us. Fears can be phobias. For some fear is associated with performance and accomplishment; some are deathly afraid of failure or not meeting the world’s standards in some form or fashion. Some fear not living up to our full potential in this life. Whatever it may be, as children of the Most High it is not worth us fearing. Catholic religious leader and martyr Charles deFoucauld once said, “The only absolute thing we owe God is to never fear anything,” and my friends this is so powerfully true. We as children of the Most High must never fear anything. Fear is not of God, it is of the enemy. Nothing set before us in this life should create any fear or anxiety for us because of the power of the God we serve. The classic verse in Deuteronomy 13:4 says, “Serve only the Lord your God and fear Him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him." We are only called to fear the One. Other than that, we owe it to our King to fear nothing at all.

Malachi 4:2-3

2 “But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture. 3 On the day when I act, you will tread upon the wicked as if they were dust under your feet, says the Lord of Heaven’s armies.”

Blind

2010-07-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

Blind

I was sitting on the patio of a yogurt shop several nights ago with a friend of mine when I saw something that would inspire this writing. My world was rocked in a single moment, I was taken back to the basics, a place I needed to get back to; a place that I needed to feel in that very moment. I hope this blesses someone as it did me.

There was a beautiful little girl about 6 year old who walked into the yogurt shop with her father. Her father was holding a bag and an interesting stick with a little Chihuahua stuffed puppy attached to one end. The little girl was so excited and one of the things that stood out about her the most was how apparent it was that she liked to talk. She was going on and on and her dad was just smiling and saying “yeah” and “uh huh,” but what would happen upon their exit of the shop would inspire me in a powerful way. While the little girl and her father were in the ice cream shop, a young couple had come up with their dog and had sat a couple feet in front of the door and since they had their puppy, they took turns going inside the shop. The puppy was sitting down, absolutely silent, very well tamed and again absolutely silent. The little girl walked out with her ice cream in hand, her dad was lagging behind in the shop, when suddenly her eyes got big and a beautiful smile overtook her already joyous countenance. What I discovered following all of this is that the stick that the girl’s father held with the Chihuahua on one end was a walking stick, the little angel was blind. So, she walked out of the shop and before she was good out of the door, she stopped abruptly in her tracks. There was no one around to tell her that this dog was in front of her, and logically he was too far and too quiet for her to have even known he was there. But, she smiled and said, “Oh I know you’re there, Can I pet you?” The lady looked just as baffled as I did at this point because she hadn’t realized yet that the little girl could not see. So, she walked right up to him and touched him right behind his ear, she didn’t miss the spot; and she just wrapped her arms around him and proceeded to lay her little face against his mane. She was so happy. Her dad finally came out and he had a nervous/sad/happy/bittersweet look on his face as he witnessed his princess embrace this puppy. He knew how much it meant to her, and it was written all over his face that he wished that she could see it. He just stood back and looked at her and smiled and she took her little time just raving to the dog about how much he had made her day and how she just knew he was there. Her dad waited patiently and when she decided she was finished, she turned around and told her dad that they could go now. Her dad grabbed her hand and they walked away, the dad still with the same bittersweet countenance; and her singing, talking, and holding on to her ice cream; her day had been made. Something so small had just made her day completely; that was something that seemed small to us.

I sat speechless for a few minutes after they walked away, unable to say a word and honestly so moved by the moment that I had become immobile. It would be a few moments later that the Lord would start to really minister to me about this little girl, her setback, joy, the dog, and the affect that just simply the presence of the puppy had on this child. The Lord ministered three things to me about all of this. Here they are:
This little girl did not let her setback hinder her from having an unshakeable joy. She was so entangled with the spirit of joy, that upon initially seeing her you would not have noticed her inability to see. Her inability to see was concealed by her ability to look past it and into everything else the Lord had put around her. Sometimes we get so tangled up in our setbacks that we forget about everything else that God has set before us. We completely ignore the blessings and take for granted the moments he gives us to be joyous because we are too focused on trying to conceal our setbacks so no one sees our mess or either we loathe in them. She chose joy and she wasn’t going to let her inability to see stop her from choosing it. Just as this little girl did, we must choose joy because that is when true living happens. Every set back gives God the opportunity to release a step up. Setbacks are usually pre-requisites for step-ups. We should look over our setbacks and while we shouldn’t focus on the shame of them or just trying to conceal them, we should get to a point where it should take both ourselves and others around us a while to even figure it out that we are walking through a set back, because of our ability to look past it and focus on the big picture, just as it took time to figure out that the child was blind.

Another thing that God showed me in this situation brought tears to my eyes. We could get technical now and emphasize that when an individual lacks one sense, the others are automatically sharpened and are naturally stronger; but I believe that there was something particularly interesting about her knowing that the dog was there that the Lord pierced my heart with. She didn’t have to see him, she didn’t have to hear him, and trust me she wasn’t good enough out of the door, nor was she even at all close enough to smell him, but something in her allowed her to know that he was right there. Her whole face lit up and she walked right across the way slowly, but right to him. She didn’t walk over to him and have to struggle to find him when she made it over there, but she placed her little hand right behind his ear, took a deep breath, smiled even bigger, and wrapped her arms around him and laid her head up against him. She laid there a second to feel his breathing; she didn’t need anything else in that moment but just to be in his presence, to feel him breathe. Her ice cream didn’t matter anymore, she had found her peace. The Lord wants us to embrace him just like this. He wants us to get to a point where no matter what is going on, no matter where we are, no matter how close or far away, we innately know and understand that he is there for us always, where we can always feel his presence. He wants us to get to a point where nothing else matters, where the good things, the ice cream, or the setbacks, the blindness or inability to see, in our lives don’t even matter once we find him. We should just know that always and in all situations that he is there and nothing else will ever be able to bring us joy as just finding him can. He wants us to forget about everything and just lean in and lay our faces against him, just to listen to him breathe. There is something special about just listening to the Father breathe, when you don’t have to say a word, but just the very essence of his presence is all you need. The very essence of the presence of the dog in that moment made the little girl forget everything and revived her in a very apparent way. She had a new smile when she walked away, the dog had made her day. God wants to be that so bad for us. He wants to be that hideaway we vacation to, where we leave everything behind and just embrace the joy that just his presence alone can bring us. When you are having a rough time or when you just need that boost, just find him, wrap your arms around him, lean in and listen to him breathe; and no matter what – even he doesn’t say a word, embrace the moment with the King, let his peace fill you, and choose joy. God inevitably works everything out for our good, know that he hasn’t left you and he hasn’t ignored you. He sees every setback and he sees every tough time, but more than that he hopes to see that we choose joy.

The last thing I want to share before I close is the significance of something so small. To us on the outside looking in, it was just a dog. A simple dog had made her day. But, here is something I want to show you. Yes, she found joy in this small something, but this is exactly what the Father longs for us to do. Don’t ignore the small things or the small situations, consider every opportunity, big and small, an opportunity to choose joy and to worship the Lord. Sometimes it takes what feels like forever for God to remove the sheet from the big masterpiece, you just keep getting the snapshots. And because impatience and anxiousness set in, you miss the significance and opportunity to be joyful and embrace the small things because you are too focused on the big picture and the final outcome. Process and waiting cultivates character and a greater appreciation for the masterpiece. Spur of the moment and unwise anxiety and impatience can ruin the character that God was hoping to create and can jip you of experience and growth that process can bring; also, it makes one less likely to appreciate the final outcome, the grand finale.

I say all of this to say these three things: No matter what is going on, consider it an opportunity to worship and an opportunity to choose joy. Remember no matter where you are, the Father is there; just lean in and listen. And finally, enjoy the small things in life, appreciate the small blessings and small windows of opportunity, as they are the gateways that will lead you to the big and better blessings, while at the same time strengthen and create a greater character in you.

Be blessed :)

Psalm 111

2010-06-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

Psalm 111

1 Praise the Lord! I will thank the Lord with all my heart as I meet with his godly people.
2 How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in him should ponder them.
3 Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty. His righteousness never fails.
4 He causes us to remember his wonderful works. How gracious and merciful is our Lord!
5 He gives food to those who fear him; he always remembers his covenant.
6 He has shown his great power to his people by giving them the lands of their nations.
7 All he does is just and good, and all his commandments are trustworthy.
8 They are forever true, to be obeyed faithfully and with integrity.
9 He has paid a full ransom for his people. He has guaranteed for his covenant with them forever. What a holy, awe-inspiring name he has!
10 Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom. Praise him forever!

On fire or not really...

2010-05-31T22:17:00.001-07:00

I was taking a nap this evening when I awoke to an interesting vision and concept.

When you build a fire and it gets going good, the flames overpower and saturate the firewood. In a fire, if you have ever noticed there are some logs that burn stronger than others and they produce greater and better enduring flames. But, have you ever noticed that sometimes within that fire, there are logs that are hot and have flames, but their endurance is little and their flames wither faster or they sometimes even lack flames at all. I believe that this is a direct parallel to the fire of God that should burn within us. Let me explain.

We are all logs immersed in the same fire, the fire of God. Whether or not our log is good or not doesnt mean anything, as we all have the same opportunity to get lost in the fire and burn to our full potential. Some logs burn brighter and produce greater flames than others, while some you have to really look both quick and closely to even catch a glimpse of the flame or to even see if it is hot. But, when you reposition the logs a little bit, sometimes the logs that were not producing much at first all of a sudden are revived. Although all of the logs are hot, they dont all have the same power simply because of their positioning. We all have the ability for the fire of God to burn powerfully within us, but if the position of our hearts isnt directly in alignment with the strongest point of the fire, God's own heart, then we wont produce great flames; others will have to merely study our surface and coloring to see that we are hot.
Sometimes we appear on fire on the exterior because we are buried in the fire with all of the other logs, but because the fire is not within, although we are in slap in the middle of the fire, our logs wont produce many flames. The fire has to be rearranged a little in order for our logs to take heat, or we will have to just remain where we are, where our fire can only be determined by the orange tint on the surface. When you are just chilling in the fire and you arent in the heart of the fire, you can only heat so long before your log will completely die out. You can only mask your lack of true flames in the midst of the rest of the powerful burning logs around you for so long; but soon it will become apparent that your log lacks flames.

When you cook something on a fire, you want to heat or cook whatever it is primarily on the logs with the greater flames. You know that because of the power of the flame, it will heat quickly and thouroughly. But also, the distance of literal contact between the flame and whatever it is that you are cooking can be either in close proximity or further away, but either way because of the power of the flame, whatever you are cooking will be cooked quickly and thouroughly. But, at the same time must be watched carefully because the flame can scorch or even light fire to it. The flame is contagious. But, when you are cooking something on a log with no flame, one that you can only determine its heat or lack thereof by the surface coloring, it takes longer, and you literally have to rest whatever it is on it so that it can thoroughly heat. The risk of scorching or the flame actually catching a fire to whatever it is you are heating is nonexistent because there was never an acutal flame that could be transfered; it didnt have the ability to light anything, just simply heat it.

When our flames for God are burning bright and with great endurance, whatever is put near our fire should catch the flame. Whether it be people around us or anything that we are a part of, our flame should inevitably be contagious. Not only will the things around us be heated quickly and thouroughly, they also run the risk of getting scorched and the flame actually catching on them. God has called us to be those great, enduring flames. When people come within either close or even a little further proximity around us, our flames should spread. The power of God within us, our flame, should literally be contagious to all around us. But, if our fire is merely surface, then people have to get closer to us to receive our heat, notice I did not say flame. It takes longer and is a little harder to thoroughly impact or heat up the things around us. But, if we reposition ourselves a little bit and really strive for God's own heart, we will no longer desire to be complacent with just the orange surface coloring, but we will want to be in the heart of the flames.

What can keep us from being in the heart of the flames is simply positioning. I believe specifically positioning of our hearts. When you are consumed by God's purpose for your life and the desires of His heart, then his fire naturally bruns greater in you. It becomes contagious in that everything about you becomes a direct reflection of the desires of His heart and who He is. But, when you are merely satisfied with surface and some areas you want him and in some you dont, then you are not at the heart of the fire, you are not after His own heart. We have to die to ourselves in order for our flames to burn powerfully. We have to realize that we must become selfless and sacrifical, as he already did for us by sending His son. One of the greatest joys in my life has been dying to myself and rising again selflessly for His kingdom. God has instilled the power for His fire to burn within all of us, no matter if we are naturally "good" logs or not; He has called all of us. We are ultimately responsible for the vastness or lack there to which our fire burns. When we immerse ourselves in the heart of who He is, then we cant help but to catch that flames. If you are feeling like your fire is withering out or you are often moved by experiences, but the actual flame is not long lasting, reposition yourself closer to the heart of the fire. When His fire is truly burning within you, life in the spirit becomes not merely about experiences, but the flame of God cohabitates within us and His flame within us becomes both everlasting and contagious.

Greatness...

2010-05-05T09:01:00.001-07:00

To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul's paradox of love, scorned indeed by the too-easily-satisfied religionist, but justified in happy experience by the children of the burning heart. ~AW Tozer~

Miracles, Signs, and Wonders: Expect the Unexpected

2010-03-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

How often do we pray about or pray for certain things, yet when they come to pass we are in shock? Did we think that the requests would be ignored or unanswered? I think sometimes we do. We ask God for things, but sometimes we truly doubt the vastness of his capabilities. We have to start to think bigger when it comes to God, thinking in terms of miracles, signs, and wonders.
I think often when we pray, we pray like this: I have done all that I can, now I am going to try God, he might do it. What we fail to realize or remind ourselves of most times is this: Once we declare it and bring it before our daddy, it is already done. Whether immediately, a few moments later, or somewhere in the near future, it is done. When we come to God, we must come expecting two things: The first is knowing that our prayer has been answered and knowing that a miracle, sign, or wonder will accompany it. Don’t forget, God answers those prayers that align with His will for us, not necessarily those that are the desires of our flesh. Some might argue that this is unfair, but if you are living your life solely for Him, then the desires of your flesh become insignificant and your desires and prayers turn into things that are of His heart. God’s word does not say bring all your requests to the Lord and He might answer them; oh no, no. Whatever we bring before the Lord that is in His will, He will answer; He will bless.
Then you might ask about unanswered prayers; these are blessings in a different form. God keeps His children from certain things for a reason. Unanswered prayers are His ways of blessing us and to keep us within His will and on track according to His plan for our lives. When I look back over my life at all of the unanswered prayers, I rejoice! What might feel, look, or sound right to our flesh is usually not what He has planned. In every situation that I can recall where a prayer was unanswered, the situations would have led to unneeded heartache and detours from His plan. Thank God for your unanswered prayers. I look at it like this: If God doesn’t answer a prayer, it just means he has an even better way to do it.
We are in a season of favor and miracles, signs, and wonders. God is not playing it small anymore and wants His glory to be seen in all of the earth. We have come to a time where because so many of our ears are closed to His wonder and splendor, He is showing up in crazy, miraculous ways to proclaim His goodness and who He is. I believe that in the next thirty days that we are about to experience miracles, signs, and wonders unlike anything that we have ever seen before. Those things that have seemed intangible, far off, or near impossible, are about to manifest here on earth. I believe they are complete in Heaven and now the transfer from Heaven to earth is happening. The time has come for your open heaven. Receive it.

You’re Nobody Until Somebody Loves You

2010-03-16T15:07:00.001-07:00

You’re Nobody Until Somebody Loves You

There is an old song that says, you are nobody until somebody loves you. Sounds slightly harsh when looking at it from the world’s eyes, but so completely true when you look at it with kingdom eyes. We are nobody until somebody loves us; and that somebody is our Father, Jesus. I often think back to my thinking and mindset several years back when I had not quite gotten it yet. I spent my time searching in the world for things to fulfill me and complete me. After years of searching whether through material things, relationships, friendships, etc., at the end of the day I would always come home empty, not completely sure as to why. At that point in my life the Lord had not become my everything. Our relationship was pretty temporal; if I needed something, then I needed Him. God was a convenience for me and I had not let Him set up shop neither in my heart nor in my life. The emptiness that I felt would follow me and remain my shadow until I truly fell in love with my Father. I was nobody because I had not let Him truly love on me.
We are nobody until He loves us. We can go around for years and years searching for God knows what and longing for something that we are not sure of and never be fulfilled. Because we walk around so long being unfulfilled, we in turn can go on for so long missing our purpose and the design for our lives. Until God becomes the center stage in everything that we think and do, then we will remain in captivity by the enemy and hinder ourselves from being that somebody that God has called us to be. When we liberate ourselves from the endless search and find our Father, we automatically become that somebody that God has called us to be. Don’t misunderstand what I am saying; we are somebody because we are His kids and He put us here for a reason. But, if you are not living for His purpose, then you are nobody. God did not design us for sedentary and monotonous living. He didn’t design us to live lives like the rest of the world full of endless searching. He designed us to be heirs to His throne and to be ambassadors of His Kingdom. He designed us to live search free lives, lives already mapped out for us with the only request that we be followers of His word. When you learn to completely and fully grasp the extent to which he loves you and cherishes you, then you will start to see how much of a somebody you are and His purpose for your life will begin to manifest in your heart and in your life.
One of my favorite exemplifiers of this concept is the apostle Paul. Paul lived many years as a so called somebody from Tarsus. Paul, who beforehand was named Saul, was a man of valor in Tarsus, an infamous persecutor of Christians. He was an ambassador for his people, a man well respected and feared by many. Paul was indeed a somebody in Tarsus, but there was a deep longing that no one else could fulfill in his heart. In Acts 9 when Paul is on his way to Damascus to persecute more Christians, I look at it as the literal road that the Lord had him take to become the somebody that He had called Him to be. As Paul is on his journey, verse 3 says a light from heaven shown down and verse 4 says that Paul fell to the ground. In verses 5-6, The voice of the Lord speaks to Him and asks him why he is persecuting Him. Then, this avid persecutor of the Gospel responds, Who are you, Lord. Paul did not simply say who is it, but he said who are you, Lord. These are very powerful words, let me explain. The phrase who are you to me acknowledges that Paul knew that Jesus was somebody, but he just didn’t know to what extent. My favorite part though is when he acknowledges Him as Lord. Paul could have said what is this voice I hear, but He knew His daddy’s voice. Paul deep down wanted to know more of who Jesus was because even though he persecuted Christians, he called Him Lord. God had put a longing deep down in Paul’s heart that no one could fulfill. Paul spent years fighting the very thing that he wanted and knew would ultimately fulfill him and make him the true somebody he was called to be. The bible says that the men with Paul stood speechless because they could hear the voice, but they could not see what Paul had seen. Sometimes we put ourselves in positions where God is ready to make us into somebody, but because we surround ourselves with nobodys, then we choose to become blind to the truth of who He is. In that moment when Paul had an encounter with Jesus, his whole world changed. Although in the world’s eyes he was already somebody big, he actually walked into his destiny as the true somebody that God had called Him to be right there on the road to Damascus. The next several years would not be easy for Paul always, but because he knew what He was called to do, He pressed on and trusted God.
Who says being somebody is easy? If it were easy and everybody could do it, what would have been the purpose of Jesus dying on the cross. Being a somebody is not easy, but it is worth it because God has a plan for your life so much greater than anything the world can offer. When you accept His love and His plan, you are stamped as somebody and you will wear that stamp for the rest of your days. For we don’t serve a God that changes his mind about us; His love is not temporal or conditional, but forever and eternal. Because you are His, you are somebody, no matter what the world says.

Where there's a will, there is a well

2010-03-03T09:25:00.001-08:00

Something that has been on my heart a lot lately is the whole idea of willingness. I am in a season personally right now where the Lord has implanted this spirit of willingness within me and stripped me of pride. I find myself now more than ever in my entire life, willing to submit and seek the Lord in everything. I have come to a point specifically where I have been asking the Lord to prune me and I have been willing to let God do a little spring cleaning in my life. Initially I had some hesitation, but since I have become willing in every area of my life, I have walked into a greater freedom and confidence in Christ. I can feel the Lord tweaking the last remnants of trash from my life and it feels so very good. I now feel like I am finally getting completely ready for what God has called me to in so many areas of my life. Because I was willing to let him have his way in me, he is making available to me a well of his grace, blessings, and love. Where there is a will, there is a well.

If we as believers are not willing to let him have his way completely, then we sabotage our own destiny and well being. As his daughters and sons, it is vital that we follow him and his will in everything because we are called to greater things than the rest of the world. We are a divine people, called to do divine things, and mediocracy fits in the equation nowhere. Maybe its issues from the past, hurts or hangups, but whatever it is, it is not too much for God. When we arent willing to let God prune those things from us, they grow and mold in our hearts and minds and the enemy uses them to poison our thoughts about ourselves, thus in turn negatively affecting our ability to fully walk into what God has called us to. Our inability to be willing to God, ultimately causes us self destruction. Being vulnerable to the ways of our father and his plans, unlocks a vault of the eternal for us. So what if it calls for you to be uncomfortable for a litte while? Its not about you anyway and besides, perfection requires persistance. You cant be who God has called you to be if you're so focused on your comfort. When we stop focusing on what makes us happy and instead on what is pleasing to him, life happens. Until then, we are like dead men walking. Will you choose to live or will you continue to just exist?

There is Beauty in Vulnerability

2010-02-25T09:44:00.000-08:00

So often we have our guards up so high that we even prevent access by God into our hearts and minds. Our hurts, hang-ups, and failures that we have experienced in the world follow right behind us into our relationship with the Most High. Because of this, we limit our own access to the treasures and limitless blessings of the King. When we put boundaries and limitations on Him, we sabotage our own blessings and destinies, as well as limit His power in our lives. We have to learn as women of God to be vulnerable, stronghold free and back-up plan free before our daddy. Numbers 23:19 says: “God is not a man, for he does not lie.” He will never change His mind about us. There is nothing that we could ever do that could limit his love for us. We are paid for and redeemed, so there is nothing for us to be afraid of or ashamed of. When we close ourselves off in certain areas, we are not being vulnerable before God. Limiting God access into every part of our lives causes us to often become frustrated and stagnant in both our walk with the Him and our worship. God already knows everything there is to know about us, Psalm 139 says it best; so why is it that we hide things from Him? It is not until you become naked before Him that he can elevate, use, and move us into His purpose for our lives. Often times, we are the very ones responsible for our lack of growth in the Lord. We don’t serve a half in, half out God; we serve a God that wants all of us. It is not until we give Him all of us, that He can in turn give us all of Him.

Something to think about: Are you really good soil?

2010-02-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

Half-hearted, Lukewarm, Partially Committed?

In chapter 4 of his book Crazy Love, Francis Chan discusses the topic of lukewarm Christianity. He starts by making a very strong statement: Don’t assume you are good soil. He states that God’s seed cannot take root in anything but good soil. When it is spread among the thorns, it is received but soon suffocated by life’s worries, riches, and pleasures. Thorns are anything that distracts or keeps us from God. When we want God and a bunch of other stuff, then that means we have thorns in our soil. A relationship with God simply cannot grow when everything else is piled on top of it.

How do you know if you are truly good soil? Chan proposes three tough questions:
1.Has your relationship with God actually changed the way you live? In all areas?

2.Do you see evidence of God’s kingdom in your life? What kind of fruit are you bearing?

3.Are you truly satisfied being “godly enough” to get yourself to heaven, or to look good in comparison to others?

Chan then goes on to list some more in your face identifiers that will help you recognize whether or not you are lukewarm. He says:

Lukewarm people….
 attend church fairly regularly because “good people” go to church. (Looking for services suitable for you or with speakers you like instead of focusing on what it is God wants to speak to you about that day -Isaiah 29:13)
 give money as long as it doesn’t affect their standard of living
 choose what is popular over what is right (They want to fit in, in two places- the church and the world and they care about what others think of them than what God thinks of them- Matthew 23:5-7)
 don’t really want to be saved from their sin, just from the penalty of it.
 moved by stories of radical acts of others for Christ, but they do not act themselves. (They think Jesus’ commission for us is radical)
 rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends. (They don’t want to be rejected or make others uncomfortable- Matthew 10:32-33)
 feel satisfied that while they aren’t as hardcore for Jesus as so-and-so, they are nowhere as horrible as the guy down the street. (Luke 18:11-12)
 say they love Jesus, and He is a part of their lives; But only a part. They give him a section of their time, money, and thoughts, but He isn’t allowed to control their lives. (Luke 9:57-62)
 love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. (Their love is conditional- who will love them in return is the basis as to which they will decide to love)
 do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling guilty. (They want to do the bare minimum to be “good enough”)
 do not live by faith, yet they structure their lives so that they never have to. (They don’t have to trust God is something unexpected happens, they can just fall back on their savings account)
 probably drink and swear less than average, but besides that, they are really not very different from your typical unbeliever. (Matthew 23:25-28)

Luke 14:31-35
31 “Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? 32 And if he can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. 33 So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.
34 “Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? 35 Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!”

Jesus is saying that because our purpose is to be salt and light to the world, if our salt is bland and lacking flavor that it isn’t even good for the lowest of things. It is useless. Let your salt be good and an overabundance of flavoring so that whatever it touches, it brings a new light and a new flavoring.

So, are you truly good soil?

Just a little while longer...

2010-01-26T19:56:00.000-08:00

Ruth was the daughter-in-law of Naomi. She had lost her husband, Naomi’s son, and had not been very prosperous following his death. She continued to live with and help Naomi following her husband’s death. She had decided to remain faithful to her mother-in-law and bless her since Naomi had always blessed her. Ruth needed work to help out with things around the house with Naomi, so they went to Bethlehem at the start of the barley harvest.

The move to Bethlehem and the beginning of the barley harvest marked the rising of a new season. There was a wealthy man named Boaz in Bethlehem who needed workers. Ruth awoke one day incredibly desperate, so much so in Ruth 2:2 she tells Naomi, “Let me go out into the harvest fields to pick up the stalks of grain left behind by anyone who is kind enough to let me do it.” Ruth was desperate and needed breakthrough. Her only desire and focus was to serve and be faithful no matter what. Boaz allowed her to work for him and in Ruth 2:8-9 he says, “Listen, my daughter stay right here with us when you gather grain; don’t go to any other fields. Stay right behind the young women working in my field. See which part of the field they are harvesting, and then follow them.” I think this goes in conjunction with Jesus and us. He wants us, as Boaz did Naomi, to stay faithful and follow Him in his field. He wants us to remain diligent and follow Him and continue running the race with our fellow brothers and sisters. We cannot get discouraged, we must keep working. Because Ruth remained diligent, the Lord blessed her in Ruth 2:14 when Boaz called her to the great meal. This is like Christ is with us. While we walk through the fire, should we decide to remain faithful and diligent, he will bless us. He honors us with small things before the big blessings come.

Even after Boaz blessed her with allowing her to dine with him, she didn’t lose focus and in Ruth 2:15-16, the bible says Ruth went back to diligently working again, and this time the Lord blessed her pursuit by instructing his young men to pull out some heads of barley from the bundles and drop them on purpose for her. The second blessing he have her was that he enlarged her territory because she was faithful. Boaz enlarged her territory for gathering grain, but this time he even helped her by going ahead of her and pulling out sheaves in advance for her. This is how God enlarges our territory and starts to make it easier for us, he lays it out- our burdens become lighter when we are faithful and trust in him. Ruth, following her day of great harvest, went home and blessed Naomi.

Then in Ruth 2:19-21, Boaz tells her to return and stay through the entire harvest. The bible then says in verse 23 that Ruth worked alongside the women in Boaz’s fields and gathered grain with them until the end of the harvest. She continued to work with them until wheat harvest in early summer. The Lord enlarged her territory once again and even though others might have harassed her or criticized her for choosing to stay for the entire harvest, Ruth kept serving and was faithful throughout the entire harvest. Sometimes I think we leave the harvest too early. We get what we want from God or because we do not get what we want from God right away, we stop being so diligent and faithful, instead of continuing to be diligent as if we hadn’t received the blessing yet. We have to carry our endurance into the new season as if God had yet to bless us with anything.

In chapter 3, Boaz is in the process of winnowing barley at the threshing floor. Winnowing barley was a redemptive process in that it was the time of perfecting. When barley underwent the winnowing process, it was tossed up and the good grain would remain, while the other would blow away. In that process, the good grain was stacked, while the trash was taken out. The barley was then officially stamped perfect. Naomi told Ruth that Boaz would be winnowing his barley and suggested that she go and lay at his feet during the process on the threshing floor. This is in direct correlation to us falling in submission at the feet of Jesus while he is in the process of perfecting us and our blessings. Ruth remained faithful as she waited. She never questioned anything and served diligently at all times. No matter whether or not our blessings are here yet, we must never leave the feet of Jesus because it is in those times of submission to Him when we are most broken and have been in waiting for what feels like ages, that he blesses us the most. Boaz was a little shocked at first, but admirable toward Ruth once again because of her diligence in waiting.In Ruth 3:15, Boaz blesses her again with and abundance of Barley. But, that wasn’t the end: that was “small” or pre blessing number 3, the big one awaited her in chapter 4.

Throughout all of this, Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi was trying to sell her late husbands land and Boaz offered to help her. In the selling of the land, one would also inherit Ruth because she had to have another husband in order to bear a son to continue her late husband’s legacy. The man that Boaz offered it to could not take Ruth as his wife even though he wanted the land, so he had to turn the offer down. Boaz had said to the man before he even made him the offer that he would be next in line for the land and Ruth if the man chose not to accept the offer. So, in Ruth 3:9, Boaz ends up buying the land and takes Ruth as his wife. So now, not only did the Lord bless and allow for the selling of the land, he also blessed Ruth abundantly. Because of her diligence and persistence, she was blessed with Boaz, who was a wealthy and influential man. The Lord allows us to endure and watches to see how diligently we will pursue and if we will remain faithful, and should he be satisfied with our persistence, the blessing he releases exceeds and is more abundant than what we asked for and can imagine. Ruth never gave up, she never stopped seeking ways to serve, and she never complained; she remained faithful, she served, and she always looked for opportunities to honor her master and to bless others. Isn’t this how we should be? Even when we are forced to walk through the fire, we must remember to stay persistent, stay faithful, and look for opportunities to bless God and others. It might take a minute, but he will always come through.

I write this all to say this: I believe ladies that God is birthing blessings for all of us here in 2010. There are things that we have been praying for that we know God has put into our hearts and has given us the okay for, but he has yet to release it. Let us as women of God learn to be like Ruth in this season of waiting. Remain faithful to the Lord, continue to serve him and bless others, and never ever lose sight of His promises. Because it is in those driest times when we think our world is crashing down and that he has not heard us, that he births those blessings.

Tried in the fire, but we're coming out GOLD!!

2010-01-25T07:32:00.000-08:00

1 Peter 1:6-7
"So be truly glad. There is a wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

Oh endure just a little while longer, Jesus is coming! Your rescue boat is here.

Press on...just a few days left

2010-01-22T04:02:00.000-08:00

Psalm 91
1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. 3 For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. 4 He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. 5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. 6 Do not dread disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. 7 Though seven thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, the evils will not touch you. 8 Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished. 9 If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, 10 no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. 11 For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. 12 They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone. 13 You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet! 14 The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. 15 When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. 16 I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.

Yesterday the enemy beat me down; but by evening, he was put to shame because the Lord showed up as he always does, just when the enemy thinks that he has won. What a punk? LOL. But I awoke this morning and the Lord gave me Psalm 91 and it was exactly what I needed. Were are in the last few days of this 21 day dedication to the Lord, and the enemy is mad. First, he didnt plan on us making it this far and now he is trying to sabotage us any way that he can in order to distract us from God and our blessings that are coming! But, he is a total LIAR!!!! We will press on! We will NOT lose sight of his promises. In these final days, he says, I will come stronger, like a mighty rushing wind. As Psalm 91 states in verse 14, he will rescue those who love him. We have been believing for signs and wonders and miracles and breakthroughs, and believe me they will manifest according to his plan. Do not lose sight of what he has set your heart on, even when it feels like your stuck in neutral. I think of it in terms of sports. I played soccer as a child and I remember sometimes running down the field and every now and then having a collision with another player and ending up in the mud or with the wind knocked out of me. But, I remember as hard or painful as it could be sometimes, I always managed to pick myself up and get right back out there and keep running my race, my race to finish strong, to finish with a win. Stay strong guys, breakthrough is coming. The enemy has come after me in INSANE The enemies tactics are pathetic! Maybe you have started to struggle with things that you have never dealt with before or with things from your past that the Lord removed long ago, proving the cowardly tactics of the enemy. Remember, You are God's child, you are made new, and God is in control! Sweep the devil under your feet and send him back to hell defeated!

Lord I pray your hedge of protection over us in these last few days of this fast and forever. I pray for supernatural covering and supernatural manifestations of the desires of our hearts and promises that you have for us. You have patiently waited 21days for your breakthrough and now it is here. Embrace it! Get excited. Stop believing and start expecting.

Elevation requires persistance

2010-01-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

Endure the fire just a little while longer says the Lord. For the blessings we are about to reap are so abundant that we will barely be able to contain them. Endure. Persist. Pray. Believe.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

You Are Worthy Enough

2010-01-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

You Are Worthy Enough

One of the things that the Lord has been teaching me this season is that I am worthy enough. As believers sometimes it is hard for us to believe that we are worthy enough to receive his love, his grace, and his blessings. As Pastor Amie Dockery says, worship is fine for us when it is focused on him and our gaze falls upon him; but the second he turns his gaze on us we get nervous and feel unworthy. Why is this? The enemy has a way of making us think that we aren’t good enough. He lies to us through things such as self esteem, self image, feelings of inadequacy, and worldly expectations that hinder us from becoming through and through who our Father has called us to be.

You are worthy. The Lord has literally given me this word so much lately that now it has taken permanent residence in my heart. I knew what I had prayed and believed for what God has called me to have and to do, but I saw it as a long way off and never thought about the time when it would all start to come to pass. When the Lord started speaking that certain requests and prayers were about to be answered and when he started really moving me forward into my calling, although I had never felt inadequate before, I became overwhelmed and began to felt undeserving. The enemy had started speaking insecurity and inadequacy into my mind so much that I would ask the Lord, Why me? After I kept asking him that, he began to whisper so sweetly to me, “You are worthy, daughter. Receive it.” The enemy had jacked with me so that I would think of reasons to justify why I was inadequate to receive his blessings; I was literally helping the enemy jade my destiny. But, God! God started to move in my spirit so and began to remind me everyday that I was worthy of his love, his grace, and the outpour of His calling and destiny for my life. One neat thing the Lord began to do was to recap my past. I would literally be in worship and the Lord would give me visions of past situations and would remind me of how in those moments he kept me from those things and brought me through just so I could be where I am today to receive his blessings and so that my calling and destiny in Him could begin to manifest and unfold just as it is today.

God wants you to know that you are worthy. Everything that he has for you, you deserve and he wants to give to you. No matter what your past looks like or what things you are still learning or enduring, you are God’s child now and what is His is yours. Every desire, every dream, it is yours in Jesus’ name. Let his gaze fall upon you; understand and accept the fact that he is madly in love with you and crazy about you. We are entering into a season where God has two assignments for us: The first is for us to be armored and equipped to take the enemy head on. We are in a season as the scriptures say, where we are not up against mere man, yet a battle of angels and demons. Because God is elevating us to new levels and manifesting himself inside of us so, the enemy is pissed. He is trying to manipulate and mess with us as believers however he can. Beware because shame and feelings of inadequacy are one of his classic tactics because it keeps us from confidently or even at all walking into what he has called us to do. Second, God is blessing his daughters and sons this season. We are in a season of opportunity and blessing. Doors that seem to have been closed forever are finally being opened. The very things that we dreamed about for so long and that seemed intangible or nearly impossible are right at our fingertips now. Don’t spend time telling God how unworthy you are, just receive what he has for you and tell him thank you. When I talk about this, I think about the analogy of the open heavens. Sometimes God has heavens open right over our heads and instead of looking up with our buckets and letting the blessings fall in them like rain, we run back in the house for cover and decide whether or not he is trying to bless us and say we are waiting on him, when all he wants us to do is get our buckets and run out in the downpour from heaven and let him fill up our buckets. I don’t know about you all, but I am done with running around claiming I am waiting on God or trying to decipher whether or not he is wanting to rain down blessings on me, I am ready to get drenched in the rain of who He is and what he has in store.

2010 marks the beginning of something crazy big! I truly believe that God is calling all of us to get our buckets and put on our shields. It is time to fight and be blessed. Fight for what you believe in and stand for the Lord, and accept the fact that it is raining blessings and there is an abundance coming your way.

Random Thought

2010-01-10T20:55:00.001-08:00

When something is God ordained, there is absolutely no confusion about it at all. God is not a God of confusion. He will never leave you perplexed or confused. If you are having to wonder about or struggle to figure something out, then there is a 99% chance that it is NOT of the Lord....

Interpreting God’s Love for Us

2010-01-08T09:41:00.001-08:00

Interpreting God’s Love for Us

The love of God is so intricate. It is so very complex, yet so simple to understand. Unlike what most of us are used to, it is infinite and never fails. God never gets tired of us or stops loving us; His love is never ending and unconditional. God loves us not based on who we are or anything we do, but instead just because. How flattering is it to know that someone is in love with us just because. He loves us so much as his daughters and sons, his babies, that he not only gave his son for us, but he delights in lending grace to us and blessing us too. Sometimes when I have a bad day or when I just want to be loved on, there is nothing that brightens up my rainy day or gives me a better bear hug greater than my daddy, my father, my Lord. I have an amazing family; a family that I know loves and adores me and a family that I love and adore as well, but still even that does not satisfy me like God does. Until you know and understand the depth of God’s love for you, you cannot properly engage in or understand properly someone else’s love for you. It is vital that we as believers adequately equip ourselves to become more intimate with Him by spending time in the word and just sitting at His feet so that we learn to grasp the vastness of his love for us. When you understand the width and depth of his beautiful love for you as his son or daughter, then you can understand earthly love. For years I thought that the word love was often thrown around way too casually. I would say it to my family because I did truly love them, but when it came to friendships and members of the opposite sex, I struggled to say the big four letter word. Why? I used the excuse that it was such a strong word that I could not just throw it around or I would use the excuse that I liked them a lot, but love…nah. Now years later, I find myself quickly loving others. When I wrapped my mind around how much my heavenly father loved me and I fell in love with Him completely and with my whole heart and whole being, it became easier for me to love on others. When you experience His love, you exhibit His love. When He becomes the center of your heart too, then the love affair begins. It is just like when you are in love in the natural; when that person becomes the center of your heart and you know you are the center of theirs, then a love affair develops and you find yourself wading in this blissful utopia that makes everything around you stand still. This is the same with God. When that love affair begins, everything around you stands still; but also, you start to exhibit that very love toward everyone around you. When that love affair begins, God does something to our very cores where because we are made whole in his love and we are so consumed by him, we start to become like Him. We start to love what he loves and feel what he feels. Isn’t that an amazingly beautiful concept? The more we fall in love with God, the more we become like him. When we fall in love with him, we give him the authority to fully consume us and then he manifests himself in our hearts, therefore making us ready, willing, and able to better love others around us. I have become a woman now who loves to love. I love to love on people and when I love, I love hard. Why? Because I know and understand that I am loved in an unnatural and amazing way that I have never been loved before. I have a divine manifestation happening in me so that I am so consumed by my father that nothing and no one else but him will ever completely satisfy me. This is not to say that natural love around us will not satisfy parts of our hearts, but it should never hold the responsibility or duty of completely fulfilling us. God wants us to be completely satisfied by his love first before he can bless us with natural love and before we can love others.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-08T09:40:00.001-08:00

The danger of being unidentified

2009-12-06T12:53:00.000-08:00

So I was sitting in a coffee house this afternoon after church. I went to get some school work done and just relax. When I pulled up I told the Lord I wanted a divine appointment. I think he gave me just that, but in an unlikely way. I was working as I began to listen to two young ladies who were sitting in front of me. Call me nosey, but I mean hey they were close to me. One of the ladies was apologizing to the other for not being there when she needed her. She was instructing the other to inform her when she wanted her to be there to comfort her or if she was in need and that she would do whatever she could to be there for her as her friend. She apologized over and over for in all honesty having a life that revolved not solely around the other young lady. After such and interesting listen, I then went back to work. A few minutes later I heard something else though. The ladies changed the subject to what their needs were emotionally and just in life in general. One mentioned how she was overwhelmed with work and just needed comfort for that, but the other said something that would be something I would meditate over and eventually write about, it was also the something that was the reassurance from the Lord that this was my divine appointment. The other lady said that she did not worry about work or anything like that, but that she gets down and needy when she thinks about her purpose in life and the question she posed to the other lady that she said often caused her to be distressed was, "Who Am I?". I was deeply moved. My heart really sank for a second when I thought about what she had said and then I posed the question to myself, "Who Am I?" The Lord spoke to me right there in that place and said "There is beauty and peace in knowing who you are. Arent you glad you know who you are in me?" All I could do was think, do we as men and women of christ know how lucky we are to know our identity in the King? Do we know how blessed we are that the Lord has grafted us in and called each of us to a specific kingdom purpose? While my heart hurt for her, my heart overjoyed at the fact that even though the world around us often looks down on the church and us as christians, we have a reassurance and a promise to at least stand on. We have the promises and plans of God for our lives.

I have said all of this to say this one thing: With Christ, we no longer have to seek for anything. Everything is mapped out, all we need to do is seek Him. The young lady said to the other that she was twenty-nine years old. She was beautiful and seemed like a neat person. At first I asked the Lord if I needed to interrupt and pray for them or minister to them, but he said to just listen to them and to pray for them both because they were not ready to hear. Then, I began to meditate on the fact that the one who needed the constant "watch" or comfort from her friend was asking for those needs to be met by someone who was in need of peace and still searching herself. That was interesting to me because how could one pour into the other when she needed someone pouring into her. I thought about the blessing we have in the direct access we have to an answer or help. We can look up and know that our daddy hears us, loves us, and will meet every need and every comfort that our hearts desire. Do not spend your life trying to find your comfort or have your needs met by mere men, always look up first.

I hope that this word is a blessing to someone today. Back to work now...

Spontaneous quote

2009-11-30T21:11:00.000-08:00

"Men who are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God." ~R.C. Sproul~

God never wastes a hurt

2009-11-29T13:38:00.000-08:00

So I am driving yesterday down the road and I suddenly thought about a young lady that I know that I had not seen in a while. I cannot really say exactly how she came upon my heart, but I know the Lord planned it. I had not seen her in months, until this morning. I was so taken back and excited at the same time and I could not wait to chat with her and see how she had been doing. She looked at me, working her best to hold it together, and said that she had not been around lately because her father was dying. My heart dropped, and a tenseness in my body plagued me. In that second, I felt an inclination of that despair and heartache that I had felt before in my own life. I lost my father suddenly a little over five years ago. I was twenty years old with years ahead of me, when my whole world was turned upside down. This young lady is fifteen years old. As I struggled to catch my breath and get my stomach out of a knot, I began to cry out to God in my mind, "why?" As I sat there and listened to this child, who because of the vastness of such a burden has become numb, ask for prayer and try her hardest to fight back the emotions, and as I looked into her eyes, I reverted back for a second to that dry place. A place where it seemed like the Lord had left me abandoned and nothing made sense, a place where I strived to still love Him, but at the same time despised Him. We prayed, chatted, and then parted ways. I could not make it to my car fast enough, before tears filled my eyes and my whole body felt tense as if I had one hundred pound weights weighing down on each shoulder. I began to weep for her because you see I have been to that place before. I had not only been there before, but had dwelled there for many years too. As I wept, I began to think back to those days where I was so hurt and angry that I was numb to everything and everyone. I felt nothing, I was a mere body existing, walking around with absolutely no feeling. At that moment, I could remember being in that place where it felt like someone ripped open my chest and removed my heart, I could remember. As I thought about it all, I began to ask the Lord why is such a sweet young child as this having to go through something so tragic? I said, Lord she is so young and has so much already going on just alone in her adolescent world, why her? Why now? I said to the Lord, Lord as much as I know it hurts, even I would be willing to bear her pain again if it meant she did not have to suffer through this as I once had to. But then, the Lord whispered something sweet to my heart. He said five simple words: I never waste a hurt. As I meditated over that for a while, there was a peace that came over my entire body like I cannot explain. In that moment, I thought about how the Lord had taken that thorn in my side and that hurt and used it to make me into a strong woman of God. I thought about the countless many young men and women the Lord has brough across my path in the last several years and has used my hurt to bring comfort and healing to them; I was then ok. The Lord said I will not waste her hurt. Her hurt will bring new life to both her and the others around her. In that moment, the Lord said something even sweeter. He told me that this was another example of how he still was not wasting my hurt, he told me she needs you Carisha, mentor her, speak life into her. In that moment, I realized that the Lord had once again picked up my past hurt and has decided to use it to bring life to someone else. God has shown me and continues to show me everyday that nothing happens by accident. Everything is designed with a greater, divine purpose in mind. While sometimes it is through great trial and strife that we endure to give him glory, it is not done without divine reasoning and a bigger plan in mind by our Father. So, I say all of this to say one thing: God never wastes a hurt. While at times we may not understand our trials, God has a bigger plan for His glory at the end of the road.

In the beginning

2009-11-29T13:27:00.000-08:00

I have never created anything such as this, but I feel an ordained purpose in doing so. I am a writer and I feel that the Lord has given me the interest and gifting in writing to encourage others, so here it goes. I hope that the writings and findings that you come across bring some inclination of encouragement or enlightenment. These writings are the thoughts and confessions of a true ragamuffin. A ragamuffin who was found, put back together, and made whole again. I am writing from experiences and from a testimony that I can now say with all honesty, I am proud of; while sometimes it will be just words from the spirit, that made their way into my heart, and from my heart to this blog. I hope you enjoy.